5 smart ways to deal with toxic people

Each of us, individually, can change, we can make the effort to improve what we don’t like. But we can’t change others. That is something we cannot forget when we face toxic people. When faced with people like this we can only do two things: avoid them or confront them.

Many people prefer to run away from toxic people, but when you have no choice but to deal with someone like that, it is best to find a way to do it intelligently. After all, toxic people always find a way to spread their negativityinfecting others, creating a bad atmosphere, ruining the moment.

Toxic people defy the logic of personal relationships. In fact, some, although unconsciously on most occasions, are happy creating a negative impact on others. Others derive satisfaction from creating chaos that strikes a chord with other people. Either way, Toxic people unnecessarily create complexity, conflict and stress.

1. In the face of toxic people, emotional intelligence

Studies have long shown that stress can have an irreversible and negative impact on the brain. Even if it’s only for a few days, Exposure to stress compromises the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus, an important area of ​​the brain responsible for reasoning and memory. If stress lasts several weeks, it ends up damaging neuronal dendrites (the small “arms” that brain cells use to communicate with each other). If it lasts several months, stress can permanently destroy neurons.

Recent research from the Department of Biological and Clinical Psychology at Friedrich Schiller University in Germany found that exposure to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions – the same type of exposure you get when dealing with toxic people – caused the subjects’ brains to had a massive stress response.

Thus, whether through negativity, cruelty or victimhood (among other strategies), Toxic people cause a state of stress in the brains of others that requires intelligent emotional management. to disappear.

The key to acting intelligently in the face of toxic behaviors is to cultivate the ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure. In fact, One of the greatest qualities of people who know how to manage stress is their ability to neutralize the effects of toxic people.

2. Ignore toxic people seeking your attention

Toxic people do not have a badge that allows them to be identified. However, We all know well who around us is a source of conflict and discomfort.. We know the damage they can cause. We also know where they attack us. You know who is looking for you, and you also know that they find you. And when it finds you, right there, in that same place you know you are lost.

If, for whatever reason, you can’t avoid that toxic person, try not to fall into their network. Ignore her. You know that he is going to seek your attention, that he is going to provoke you. Don’t get entangled. May I not find you. Don’t let yourself be provoked by their interruptions, their comments or their actions. Be benevolent. Be patient. Pay it as little attention as possible. Bite your tongue if necessary to avoid making its poison a part of you. And be assertive if it’s time to draw a line.

3. Don’t assume toxic behavior: avoid contagion

The main characteristic of toxic is that it is contagious. The same thing happens with toxic people: their attitude is contagious. If you respond with toxic behavior you will have lost the battle. Even if that toxic person manages to press your “feel guilty” button, all is not lost. Maintaining serenity in the face of his worst poison, the inoculation of guilt, is possible.

Just because it is possible does not mean that it is easy to ignore the calls for attention from a toxic person. In fact, a common strategy of toxic people is to ridicule their target in public when they can’t get a direct confrontation, if they haven’t chosen this path first. That’s why, Maintaining control of emotions is essential in a situation like this.

On the other hand, maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness. You can’t always stop someone from pushing your sensitive buttons. When this happens you will have to overcome your fears and your complexes and move forward. In some ways, it is better to ignore what happened, since that way it will be easier to control your emotions. However, there is another option: defend your boundaries.

4. Mark and defend your limits

You should know that the attack of a toxic person does not undermine your dignity. In fact, Your dignity may be attacked and ridiculed, but you can never lose it unless you surrender it voluntarily.. Therefore, you don’t have to defend yourself against their arguments, but rather make your boundaries clear.

No one wants to offend but who can. If you get defensive you are showing him that he can offend you. If you set the limits you are making it clear to him that he cannot attack you.

When faced with a toxic person, reasoning or explanations are not valid. You have to make things clear, with a left hand but a firm tact, making your authority clear in those decisions over which you have the right and, at the same time, responsibility.

Note that To set a limit you will have to do it consciously and proactively. If you let things happen naturally, you will be forced to find yourself constantly embroiled in difficult conversations. If you set limits you will be able to control much of the chaos caused by a toxic person.

5. Practice practical compassion

As we have seen, when faced with a toxic person we can take an attacking attitude, a defensive position or simply ignore them. But it is not always necessary to do this. In fact, Sometimes it makes sense to be nice to toxic people. Maybe they are going through a difficult time, an emotional situation that they do not know how to manage effectively.

For misfortune, he Toxic behavior is often a way of coping with a difficult personal situation. True, it is not fair that they make others bear their pain. There is also no personal relief by making others feel bad. However, deep down, there is not always malice, resentment, or anger toward yourself in the toxic behavior of others.

That doesn’t mean you have to let it go or that you have to accept it. After all, we each have our own problems, our own demons. In such a situation, face the situation with compassion, forgiving. Without playing along and setting limits, of course, but without taking too much into account the other’s attitude, since it is nothing more than a reflection of his agitated and painful inner life.

You might be interested…