5 reasons why you can’t find the love of your life

The idea that “the love of life” exists has become very widespread. In one way or another it is a contemporary version of the myth of the better half.. It implicitly introduces the idea that there is a great love predestined for us and that our role is to seek it and find it. The assumption is that if you don’t find the love of your life, what you should do is keep looking.

There is nothing wrong with adorning the love of a couple with romantic ideas. In fact, it can be enriching. The problem It appears when you assume that you have not found the love of your life, but that at any moment you are going to discover him somewhere. And it will truly last a lifetime. If not, it is because that person “wasn’t”, but someone else will be.

The problematic thing about all this is that it can lead some people to live based on an ideal fact. And ideal facts only live in the world of ideas, but not in reality. That’s why it’s worth clarifying things a little. To do this, let’s look at five of those reasons why you can’t find the love of your life.

1. The love of life does not exist

The first reason why you can’t find the love of your life is because he doesn’t exist. At least he doesn’t exist in those terms of someone predestined to occupy an extraordinary place in your heart. There is not only one person with whom we can be happy in a relationship, but many.

Every relationship , however wonderful it may be, is liable to end. That does not depend on destiny, nor on strange forces.. It is simply a consequence of multiple factors. The most frequent of them, frustrated expectations and difficulty in maturely welcoming others into our lives.

2. Narcissism prevents accepting differences

Many people think that their ideal partner It is a kind of mirror for themselves. They are looking for someone who is their own version in another’s body. It is obvious that there has to be a solid compatibility between the two, but that does not eliminate the fact that there can also be, and are, big differences between the two.

If you don’t find the love of your life, you may have a too personal idea of ​​love. Maybe you believe that a great love is the one that fulfills your needs or fulfills your desires. . And you? Are you capable of completely meeting the needs and desires of the other person? Will you be seeing everything only from your side, without taking into account the other side of the story?

3. Teenage fantasies, a reason why you can’t find the love of your life

There are many people who still hold the idea that someone must “appear” to make you feel butterflies in your stomach., sweat in the hands and hearts coming out of the eyes. Also, may it transport you to paradise with its mere presence. Everything else is little.

These fantasies are a remembrance of first teenage loves. It is not only love, but also youth itself that leads us to experience affection in this way., during that stage. Neither youth returns, nor will loves be as effervescent as then. On the other hand, they could be much better and more real and lasting.

4. The ability to commit is not developed

One of the most common reasons why you don’t find the love of your life could be difficulty committing. Making a commitment is not easy. It involves a set of losses and renunciations. Also an acceptance that reality is incomplete and imperfect. It is the denial of romantic fantasy, because it is a rational act.

Sometimes we don’t want to accept that reality has ordinary facets, in which violins don’t play. Commitment is not compatible with idealism, but with realism. Not everyone has the tools to commit heartfelt with another. To that extent, no love will survive time and difficulties.

5. There is an obsession with success

Currently there is a great obsession with success, particularly in the workplace.. People want to scale as much as possible. Have more money, more prestige and more of everything. The only way to achieve this is by giving your life to work and projects.

In these conditions it is very difficult for great love to thrive. Even for these people, love itself ends up being a company that requires it to be profitable.. At this point we must reveal one of the great secrets of true love: we fall in love with the vulnerabilities and needs of the other, not with their successes and successes.

If you are lamenting because you can’t find the love of your life, maybe you should think that there is nothing to find. It is not about searching, but about building. It’s not about being loved, but about loving. That’s how simple the formula is to live a completely happy relationship.

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