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5 reasons why a friendship comes to an end

Nobody wants to lose their friends. We all understand true friendship as a source of precious reinforcers of a very diverse nature. So why do some friendships end?

A true friendship is one of the most valuable resources we can count on.. For most of us, having a friend is important to our life satisfaction. In fact, research shows that both variables are related, and that the intensity and quality of our circle of friends are positively related to the satisfaction we have with our lives.

When a friendship ends, we are left with the question of why it ended. Sometimes the answers are obvious, other times not so much. Sometimes, we are the ones who cut off that relationship; In others, the bond seems to be fraying for no apparent reason. What are the causes of a friendship coming to an end?

What is friendship?

What do we understand by friendship in the context of psychology? This type of social relationship is understood as a emotional and lasting bond that two people build voluntarily. In friendship, both people find pleasure, emotional support and satisfaction. Although they may also encounter sadness and anxiety when they separate.

These relationships are based on multiple prosocial and cooperative behaviors between the two people, and on intimate, intense and sincere communication. Friendship implies interest in the well-being of others, sensitivity and empathy. In it, people come together physically and emotionally to share experiences, activities, affections, ideas.

There are many factors that intervene in the formation of these links. One of them is the similarity, the fact of Sharing behaviors and attitudes creates coordination, a kind of synchronicity, which facilitates the creation and consolidation of the relationship. Those who share common traits such as intelligence, personality, beliefs and hobbies are more likely to become friends.

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Other essential factors in starting a friendship are communication and self-disclosure. People who communicate more and in a fluid and satisfactory manner are more preferable than those who do not converse.. A good conversation increases the desire to see the other person again. Reciprocal liking, personality and sense of humor have been other influential factors in the formation of friendships.

5 reasons why a friendship comes to an end

In a research that aimed to identify and evaluate the reasons that lead to a friendship coming to an end in a Greek cultural environment, five reasons were found why these relationships end. Let’s see what they are.

1. Egoism

Friendships come to an end when people are only interested in themselves and their needs. Egoism is a bubble of the self in which there is no reciprocity with the other, nor an involvement in the development of the other person or in the satisfaction of their needs.

In friendship, selfishness places the other person as a means to achieving the desires of the self. Some of the most common selfish reasons are:

Lack of respect.They only look at their own interests.The other person is hypocritical. There is no trust.The other person is not understanding.There is a feeling that the other person is taking advantage of the friendship. There is a lack of support. The friend does not care about the other person.The person takes without giving anything in return.The friend is arrogant and critical.

2. Romantic interest

The friendship comes to an end because one of the people has changed the way they love the other in their life. There are many friendships that do not know how to deal with this asymmetry and end because of it. On the other hand, at this same point, the following circumstances may occur:

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The friend shows a romantic interest in the other’s partner. The person falls in love with his friend. One of the two falls in love with a person that the other is interested in.

3. Lack of interaction

In the communicative process, not only what one is, feels or thinks is expressed, but also what the other is, feels and thinks in relation to one. Some of the reasons why lack of interaction can end a friendship are:

They live very far away. They do not have enough time to maintain friendship. They do not have common interests. Each one has different priorities. There were conflicts or misunderstandings.

4. Perceptions of friends

A friendship comes to an end because other friends disapprove of it. Social pressure from friends with whom you have a strong bond can lead to breakups with other people. The person can see himself between a rock and a hard place, between one friend and another.

This influence can be positive or negative, depending on the type you end up with. Sometimes, friends disapprove of friendships with other people because they are very toxic and do not facilitate personal growth. On other occasions, by hanging out with this type of people, healthy friendships are left aside, the true ones, those that do not detract, but rather add satisfaction and joy.

5. Perceptions of family members

The perception that family members have about a person is another cause of a friendship coming to an end. This type of disapproval is very common and more so in controlling and authoritarian families, where the freedom of its members is greatly restricted, especially that of the children.

Some reasons why family can end up ending a friendship are the following:

The friend has a drug problem. He has poor personal hygiene. He is a bad influence. He is not a good example to follow.

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Finally, these causes why a friendship comes to an end allow us to observe the degree of difficulty for this type of relationship to be sustained in the long term. How many friendships have you left behind? How many have you called friends and today you don’t know anything about them? What do you think were the causes of those breakups?

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Amati, V., Meggiolaro, S., Rivellini, G., & Zaccarin, S. (2018). Social relations and life satisfaction: The role of friends. Genus, 74(1), 1-18.Apostolou, M. and Keramari, D. (2021). Why friendships end: An evolutionary examination. Evolutionary behavioral sciences. Early publication online. https://doi.org/10.1037/ebs0000269Campbell, K., Holderness, N., & Riggs, M. (2015). Friendship chemistry: An examination of underlying factors. The Social science journal, 52(2), 239-247.Escobedo, DL, Martín, GM, Pérez, ADD, González, CR, & Encinas, AM (2012). Conceptions about friendship: An exploratory study with Spanish and immigrant children living in the Community of Madrid. International Journal of Developmental and Educational Psychology, 2(1), 293-301.Sprecher, S. (2014). Effects of actual (manipulated) and perceived similarity on liking in get-acquainted interactions: The role of communication. Communication Monographs, 81(1), 4-27.Sprecher, S., & Duck, S. (1994). Sweet talk: The importance of perceived communication for romantic and friendship attraction experienced during a get-acquainted date. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, twenty(4), 391-400.Susan Sprecher (2014) Effects of actual (manipulated) and perceived similarity on liking in familiarization interactions: The role of communication, communication monographs, 81:1, 4-27, DOI: 10.1080/03637751.2013.839884

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