5 pieces of knowledge that are part of an emotionally mature person

The emotionally mature person knows that life is not easy or fair on many occasions.. That is why he does not hold anyone responsible for his happiness or suffering nor does he place the key to his well-being in other people’s pockets. He limits himself to assuming responsibility for his decisions, he is the architect of each of his steps and choices as well as their possible consequences.

The concept of emotional maturity was one of the pillars of Albert Ellis’ theories. Thus, for those who do not know the father of cognitive-behavioral therapy, it should be noted that he was one of the most notable figures within psychology. His enthusiasm for life and his work is difficult to match.

He wrote more than 80 books, 1800 articles, trained more than 200 therapists and created an institute that bears his name where teach people to identify, challenge and replace their negative or vetoing beliefs with healthier ones. Those that promote well-being and emotional growth so that the person can achieve their own goals.

Thus, among all his works, the need to transmit to us basic tools with which to facilitate our growth and maturity as human beings always emerges. These keys or principles that we present below contain the essence of that knowledge that Albert Ellis gave us through what he considered his true purpose: to make suffering more manageable.

1. The emotionally mature person understands that the world is not as one wishes

Many of us would like to be able to edit the past. Be like the writer who finishes a chapter, rereads it and decides to delete certain paragraphs so that the story makes more sense.

However, Whether we believe it or not, sometimes life has no meaning. There are things that happen that lack any explanation, they are events, facts and circumstances that we are forced to accept without further ado to continue moving forward.

In addition, The emotionally mature person has learned that he cannot change people. You cannot wait for others to act or say what you expect. All of this is undoubtedly another source of useless suffering.

2. Know that to be happy you have to be responsible for yourself

Bertrand Malle, a cognitive psychologist at Brown University, conducted a study in 2004 analyzing the relationship between happiness and the way our minds understand the concept of personal responsibility.

Thus, a fact that remains evident is that The act of assuming that responsibility for what happens to us is in the hands of others generates clear discomfort in us. It’s like living in the territory of ostriches, it’s just hiding our heads while we blame the world for our failures and discouragements.

It is clear, however, that we do not have control over every aspect of our reality. However, We do have the opportunity to choose how to act in the face of the reality that we have to live. This is where the key is, this is undoubtedly the route plan that the emotionally mature person carries in mind every day.

3. You have discovered that you have permission to change whenever you want

The emotionally mature person allows themselves to change. Because to change is to grow and it is to adjust the course with greater precision after having acquired new learning.

Taking another step in our growth often means leaving things and people behind to reduce those burdens that so often limit us, that erode personal values ​​and well-being. Something like this implies gathering courage and clear resolution, where we understand that our potential lies in assuming changes periodically.

4. You have to carry an emotional compass in your pocket

On every journey along our vital paths we need an emotional compass. That which always guides us towards a north where fears do not weigh excessively, where there is no anguish and where anxiety does not slow our steps.

The emotionally mature person has learned to manage those states that have brought undesirable consequences, and of which he has somehow gained knowledge. Because Every compass must be well calibrated, and that is learned with experiencebeing more attentive to internal states, irrational thoughts, emotions that bring out the worst in ourselves.

5. You don’t have to be in love to be happy

The emotionally mature person does not search for love obsessively. He doesn’t avoid it, he doesn’t shy away from it, but he doesn’t need it either. Because if there is something he understands, it is that in emotional matters what is valuable, what counts is being able to continue growing. Continue learning with someone who enriches the journey of life, a person who does not veto emotional values, but rather promotes and expands them.

So, In the heart of someone emotionally mature there is only room for loves that taste like balance, to enthusiasm and projects where each one can follow their goals but having a common space. If this does not occur, solitude will always be preferable, because well-being and personal satisfaction can also live in that territory.

To conclude, one aspect should be noted. No one comes into this world as an emotionally mature person.this subject is learned over time, day by day we acquire new and better skills to include in our existential backpack. Let us therefore be receptive to this type of learning.

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