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5 keys to know if a person adds value to your life

The people around you influence your attitude, your emotions and your personal growth. Discover how to recognize those who really add value to your life.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

It is no secret that the people we surround ourselves with have a great influence on us. To a large extent, what we dedicate our time to, what we think about and how we feel depends on them.. It is known that having a nourishing and enriching social circle is wonderful for our mental and emotional health. Therefore, if you doubt the appropriateness of your choices, we offer you some keys to know if a person adds value to your life.

Of course, we’re not saying that people or relationships have to be perfect. We all have flaws, weaknesses and areas for improvement.. However, surrounding ourselves with individuals who drain us, stagnate us, or harm us is too high a price we should not have to pay. So, if you doubt whether someone should stay by your side, these are some aspects you can pay attention to.

How do you know if a person adds value to your life?

With this exercise It is not about falling into intolerance or being too demanding.. Each being is different and can bring us enrichment and impulse in its own way. However, if you want to evaluate how positive the relationships you are having, you can start by analyzing the following areas:

1. What plans do you make together?

Our time is limited and, therefore, we must take care of what activities we use it on. If there is a person who only wants to share with you nights of partying and alcohol or going out to eat junk food, perhaps this is not the best choice.

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A person who adds value to your life It will accompany you to see beautiful natural landscapes, to discover museums or towns, to exercise or to take a simple walk accompanied by a good conversation.. Of course, there is time for everything, also for partying and cravings, if that’s what you feel like; but, beyond this, that person is available for those plans that really nourish and benefit you.

People who add value to the lives of others help them grow and develop.

2. What is your mentality?

Our mentality is the way we see the world, ourselves and others. It is our attitude towards life. In this regard, There are optimistic and positive, brave and enterprising people, who inspire us and fill us with energy.. And there are also people who drain us, who constantly complain and feel like victims, who reflect envy and resentment.

Of course, no one can be happy and motivated all the time, this would not be humane. And it is not about abandoning those we love when they are in a low moment, quite the opposite. However, it is important that Observe the mentality of those around you, because it is contagious and sooner rather than later it will become yours.

3. How does it make you feel?

This is one of the main points that can help you determine if a person brings value to your life. And it is that Our social relationships should feel like a safe place, a space in which we know we are listened to, respected and valued.

Think about how you feel when you are with that person you doubt. How does it make you feel about yourself and your life? Does he see the good in you and remind you of it? Is it able to accompany and validate your emotions? Do you feel genuine affection on their part that is also reflected in their actions? If not, you may need to check the link.

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4. Is it coherent and congruent?

This is an aspect that we do not usually pay conscious attention to, but it is the key to trust in a relationship of any type. It is important that the people you surround yourself with are consistent; that is, that your thoughts, your words and your actions are aligned.

When this does not happen, we are faced with false or interested people, disloyal people who do not keep their promises and who make us feel betrayed. It is of little use for someone to tell us how much they love us and support us if they later disrespect us or are not present when we need them.

Sometimes, due to the years of friendship shared, or the fear of losing that other person, we overlook these inconsistencies. However, this actually harms us, as we are allowing treatment that we know we do not deserve.

5. Does it drive you to grow?

Lastly, to know if someone brings value to your life, look at How it contributes to your personal growth. The people who ask you about your dreams and goals and encourage you to fight for them are the truly valuable ones. Those who share with you new knowledge or strategies that they have learned and believe can help you. Those who bring new topics of conversation to the table, who encourage you to know yourself deeply and love yourself, are the ones who should be by your side.

It is common for others to want to see us well, but no more than they do. And this is reflected in attitudes that invite you to resign yourself, not to think big and to continue in your comfort zone (which really makes you uncomfortable). There are those who want to see us shine and those who, secretly, prefer that we fade away. Look at the actions and words of those around you and you will see which group they belong to.

People who add value contribute to the personal growth of others.

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Be a person who adds value to the lives of others

Before finishing this reflection, we want to remind you of the importance of this being a reciprocal path. We must also seek to enrich and nourish the lives of those around us. We must try to contribute to their physical, mental and emotional well-being, encourage them to improve and be faithful and consistent in our relationship with them.

Finally, keep in mind that although the people around you have a great influence, Finally, you have the responsibility for yourself.. Choose to connect with people who nourish you, but try to be your main source of well-being.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Fernández Peña, R. (2005). Social networks, social support and health. Perifèria: magazine of research and training in anthropology, (3).Foulk, T., Woolum, A., & Erez, A. (2016). Catching rudeness is like catching a cold: The contagion effects of low-intensity negative behaviors. Journal of Applied Psychology, 101(1), 50.

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