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5 common mistakes when turning the page on a relationship

What can we do to leave a relationship behind? What measures can we adopt to intelligently face the possible resulting grief? In this article we tell you about them!

Turning the page on a relationship may not be an easy task, especially when it is the other person who breaks the bond.. Sometimes you don’t agree with that decision, but that may not count. If the couple has decided that they do not want to maintain the relationship, there is basically nothing to do.

There can be a lot of headwinds when it comes to making a decision of this caliber unilaterally, even if it is clear that the bond is deteriorated and attempts to restore it have not borne much fruit. Resistance to accepting the facts sometimes leads to a series of errors when turning the page on a relationship.

The problem is that, if you cannot turn the page on a relationship in a reasonable way, grief may be prolonged or intensified inherent to the loss. This, in itself, is painful, but if you season it with inappropriate behavior or add salt to the wound, things can get worse. What is that that should not be done? Let’s see.

A man who has not gone through the hell of his passions has never overcome them.”.

-Carl Gustav Jung-

1. Put pressure on yourself

The first mistake when turning the page on a relationship is putting pressure on yourself. No one has to overcome the issue in a short time or avoid the experience of discomfort. that derives from a love loss. Imposing the obligation to be well right now is only going to make you feel worse.

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Give yourself space, and also time. Losing a loved one can not only cause sadness, but also anger, frustration or a very intense feeling of loss of control. Trying to chase these emotions away with the kind of messages you would kick a person out of a place will only make them stay. Emotional intelligence circulates through other channels, more subtle and at the same time less direct.

Imposing yourself to be okay after a breakup can increase pain and discomfort.

2. Find a person to take the place of the previous one

Starting a new relationship in the middle of grief is usually not a good idea – in some cases it can work, because this is not a determining variable, but it is a variable that usually has a great influence. Neither the mind nor human emotions work in that automatic way. You can’t cross your fingers and wait for the past volatilize without leaving any projection on the present.

It can work if the ending relationship does not lead to grief. Otherwise, you’ll probably just confuse yourself more.. It is very likely that you unconsciously persist in the conflicts that led you to the breakup with your previous partner. You may just get new frustration. Better to heal first, before trying again.

3. Try to change your mind

Another common mistake when turning the page on a relationship is resisting the facts. There are many people who feed the fantasy that they can turn back and resume the relationship.giving the other person some time and then trying to persuade them to change their mind.

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If we are talking about a relationship between two adults, the above does not make much sense. If the breaking point was reached it is because things were going badly. Perhaps it is good, at first, to try to get the other person to see things from a new point of view. If this is not achieved, there is nothing healthier than respecting other people’s decisions and moving forward..

4. Spy

Staying attentive to what your ex-partner does or doesn’t do is not the best idea when you are looking to turn the page on a relationship. This espionage hurts in several ways. First, It doesn’t let you make a cut and mark a boundary between the past and the present. You will continue to nourish a bond that no longer exists.

Secondly, this spying will only let you see a part of that person’s reality. This will most likely lead you to a series of guesses, most of them wrong.. In these conditions it is not easy to be objective and you will almost certainly end up with your head invaded by fantasies, positive or negative, without foundation.

Spying on what the ex-partner’s life is like usually prevents moving forward.

5. Force yourself to be friends

It is very good to have a civilized breakup, but from there to the two forcing each other to be friends there is a very big distance. This is basically impossible, especially if there was a lot of love, a lot of passion, and a lot of conflict. It is very common that That supposed friendship is just a false way of trying to preserve a relationship that has already ended..

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The best way to turn the page in a relationship begins by accepting its end. To overcome it, there is nothing better than avoiding contact with that person who has been left behind. Instead, give yourself time, connect with your own reality and look for new paths for your life.

All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

García, FE, & Ilabaca Martínez, D. (2013). Couple breakup, coping, and psychological well-being in young adults. Ajayu Scientific Dissemination Body of the Department of Psychology UCBSP, 11(2), 42-60.

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