5 causes of exaggerated narcissism

The causes of exaggerated narcissism have to do with deficiencies and with excesses during childhood. Sometimes what prevails is a pattern of lack. The correct affections or stimuli were lacking. On other occasions, the predominant note is excess: the parents went further in satisfying the children’s needs.

Problems associated with narcissism have different levels. Sometimes it is simply an area or part of the way of being. On other occasions, what there is is a narcissistic personality disorder, which is more serious. In the latter case, grandiosity and selfishness invade the entire personality. And there may be antisocial traits.

Depending on the causes of exaggerated narcissism, it will leave one mark or another on the personality. In all cases there are some features in common, although of different intensity..

In general, what predominates is grandiosity, arrogance exploitation of others and interpersonal problems. There may also be many hidden traits that denote feelings of inferiority. Whatever the case, the main causes of exaggerated narcissism are the following.

Abuse, one of the causes of exaggerated narcissism

It is sometimes believed that someone who has suffered abuse During his childhood he becomes completely timid. This is not always true. In many cases, exactly the opposite happens. This means that the victim develops a narcissistic personality. All the time he wants to be above others.

Abuse is one of the most complex causes of exaggerated narcissism. What happens in this case is that this trait operates as a compensation and defense mechanism. The idea of ​​“I will never again be a victim of another” is forged. That is why the image is “inflated” ownso that it ends up becoming an exaggerated exaltation of the self.

Abandonment

When there is abandonment, something similar happens to what happens with abuse. The person experienced such a great feeling of vulnerability in their childhood that they decide to build a wall between themselves and the world.. That wall is narcissism. The main consequence of abandonment, in this case, is a profound difficulty in experiencing empathy.

What happens in these cases is that narcissism acts like a shell. Furthermore, inside that shell hides an extremely weak person.. That is why it is common for these types of people to feel real terror in the face of rejection from others. Or they may have strong feelings of shame for how they have organized their interior. Narcissism only serves to hide them.

Parental inconsistency

Parental inconsistency is one of the causes of exaggerated narcissism. Inconsistency is a lack of congruence. It can occur between words and actions or between the actions themselves. It’s up to parents who say one thing, but do something very different. Or those who are erratic and you never know how they will act.

This is characteristic of anxious parents. It gives rise to strong insecurity in children. These types of parents lavish exaggerated praise on their children. At the same time, they are criticized too harshly.. Narcissism is the response to the anxiety caused by being in the hands of a changing and incoherent criterion.

Empty overvaluation of parents

This mechanism is very typical of parents who carry feelings of guilt.. Maybe they don’t give enough time and attention to their children. They know this is wrong. Thus, to compensate for the damage, they frequently and unsuccessfully try to highlight certain traits that they think their children treasure, regardless of whether they have them or not, since they know very little about them.

They do this through excessive praise and expensive gifts. It is a way to compensate and cover up your lack of true affection.. They feel obligated to celebrate whatever their child does, so that in that sense no one can doubt the affection they feel for them. Thus, the child can form an idealized image of himself, nothing close to reality.

defensive block

Overprotection is a form of abuse. Sends a message of fear and anxiety. Install a thought in the child’s mind: he is unable to face the vicissitudes of life. It also makes him think that there is “something special” in him that must be constantly taken care of, an immanent weakness in his being. This feeds both insecurity and exaggerated narcissism.

Over time, a defensive block occurs. The person settles in a bubble. He thinks that others, if they love him, must protect him and put themselves at his service. of your needs. He becomes indolent to the needs of others.

Many of the causes of exaggerated narcissism have to do with the parents’ own narcissism.. Sometimes they want to repair the wounds to their self-esteem through their children or fulfill their own narcissistic desires. The problem is that they end up achieving just the opposite. In this sense, let us remember that psychotherapy can contribute decisively to restructuring self-love that is healthy and has true strength.

You might be interested…