It is perfectly normal for arguments to occur in a relationship. Who doesn’t argue? If they don’t exist, the relationship is probably very cold; so much so that there is not even room for recriminations. where is lovethere’s also a little bit of hate, and that’s nothing to worry about..
That said, it should also be noted that one thing is get upset and get angry for a moment, it is quite another to emit expressions with a high aggressive content, which can seriously injure your partner.
If expressions of anger revolve around some disagreement or concern, they can cause tension, but not deep wounds. Nonetheless, if the tone of the conflict rises and the messages are aimed at degrading or disqualifying the partnerand not to express annoyance, the matter becomes more complicated.
Below we tell you which expressions you should avoid at all costs if you want to maintain a healthy relationship.
Violence is the last resort of the incompetent.
– Isaac Asimov-
1 – Shut up!
The imposed silences are highly aggressive. Preventing a person from saying what he thinks or feels is equivalent to canceling him out completely. There’s no valid reason for you to demand that your partner stop talking, whether he’s saying something crazy or something that really annoys you.
If you don’t feel able to listen to the person, simply ask them to suspend the conversation and resume it when both are calmer.
It is very likely that your demand that the person shut up will not be successful, and will end up putting an end to the communication between the two of you.
2 – Offensive adjectives
well they say that “the tongue is the only muscle that breaks bones”. A person’s self-esteem is greatly hurt when they are referred to as “dog”, “whore”, “pervert”, “stupid”, or similar terms.
You offensive adjectives have no other intention than to humiliate the other. They seek to diminish, demean and, at times, even strip away the condition of a person. For this reason, it is even possible to use the name of an animal to offend the other.
This type of adjective is a low blow within an argument. They cause anger and pain in those who receive them, and certainly guilt in those who generate them..
3 – The threats
One of the quickest ways to lose respect between two people is to end the relationship every time a problem arises, then regret it and ask for reconciliation.
“Everything’s over!” is one of the phrases that can appear when a couple argues. If you’re not really willing to break up, it’s best not to say anything. If you do, it’s because you don’t really want to solve a problem… just manipulate your partner with the threat of abandonment.
Of these threats, there is only resentment towards the other and a lack of credibility in you. As a result, communication becomes vitiated and marked by the idea that words have no value. That are said for the sake of saying and that nothing should be taken seriously.
4 – Insults against the family
Talking bad about someone else’s family is another one of those low blows that causes strong resentment. Phrases such as “You are becoming more and more like your mother”, “I hope you are not a failure like your brother”, are unacceptable.
These phrases are evidence that there is a strong desire to attack, not to defend an opinion or a way of acting. Their intention is to injure and, for that very reason, they end up increasing the problem, whatever it may be.
5 – I can’t stand you!
Declaring that your partner is unbearable is equivalent to saying that the way you feel, think, or act has no place in your emotional world. It is a form of rejection with a high affective component.
Expressions like this generate a strong block in communication of the couple. They imply great difficulty in achieving mutual acceptance and a denial of understanding.
It is normal that, in a relationship, there are difficulties and that, sometimes, they increase the tone of the conversation. But to maintain your good mental health and build a healthy relationship, you must prevent anger from causing you to issue messages that are sure to have serious consequences in the future.
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