4 years ago I came to live in Paris and living here is not as easy as I thought

In 2014, I made the important decision to radically change everything. I left my life in Kiev, Ukraine, packed my bags and moved to Paris. It sounds like the beginning of a beautiful romance, but in real life there was nothing fairytale about cozy French restaurants, freshly baked puff pastry croissants and a view of the Eiffel Tower from my window.

especially for the awesome.club I’ll tell you what life is like in France, especially when you’re not a tourist.

A lot of people wonder why I decided to leave everything and go. I love to answer: “Because the love of cheese and wine won over my love of the country!”. Just kidding, of course. Seriously, I studied French for most of my life: from the 1st grade at school, then at university, in the Linguistics course. I’ve always dreamed of living in France to get to know its culture and way of life seeing it for what it really is, and not through books.

When I was finishing the 4th year of college, I decided to make my dream come true. I didn’t have a good job or a home of my own, so I had nothing to lose. I knew that if things didn’t go well, I could always go back to Kiev, to the same place where it all started.

In Europe and the USA there is an international program called Au Pair that allows you to live at least one year in another country. You will live with a family, from which you receive food, accommodation and a salary in exchange for taking care of the children and helping around the house.

Unfortunately, I was unlucky with the family I was given. My room was in the basement of the house, close to brooms, squeegees and old things. It constantly smelled musty and gave me the feeling of clearly not being in the house like a family member.

I am not a difficult “customer” and I could have tolerated these conditions, but I could not accept the character of children. According to my observations, it was the result of a poor upbringing and the general situation of the family. Parents constantly argued, saved every penny, put children on a diet (meatless food), justifying it by the fact that they always ate meat at school at lunch, and eating too much meat is known to be harmful and expensive.

But no taboo about Dad’s food. Some chocolate and candy desserts from the fridge had the ticket Reservé pour papa (“Reserved for Dad”).

Naturally, they also skimped on my food. For example, Mom gave me expired yogurt, and it was a pity to throw it away.

My new apartment, on the seventh floor.

Unable to bear this attitude, I decided to leave the first family. I had to urgently look for a replacement. The new family didn’t treat me much better than the old one. According to system rules Au Pair, the receiving party had to provide me with a transport card, but the parents told me it was too expensive for them (although a monthly card costs 37 euros). Therefore, I had to pick up her children from school on foot, leaving the house several hours earlier.

As for housing, I was given a separate apartment, which was on the eighth floor, under the roof of a building with no elevator. But he had as a neighbor Rafael, the son of singer Hélène Segara, known for the role of Esmeralda in the famous musical Notre Dame de Paris🇧🇷 And by the way, thank you Rafael for allowing me to use your free Wi-Fi.

My little favorite: Eleya. She loves to draw. In the photo on the right, we are doing the task: we color and talk about the bear in the drawing.

The kids in the new family were cute and we quickly became friends. A year later, I decided to live alone. The family offered me to stay with them longer, but I decided it was time to move on. After all, I couldn’t babysit my whole life. And I entered the Sorbonne University because, in France, my diploma from Kiev as a translator did not surprise anyone.

I went to visit the second family three years after working for them. Here Eleya is already bigger, she was 9 years old.

I have now finished a local course and received a degree in Hotel and Restaurant Management. And we can say that I got a job according to my specialty: I am the general manager of two hotels. I work one day at one and another day at the other.

The perks of working as an administrator: sometimes clients thank me for a good job and give me little gifts.

Left: a metro ticket at a reduced price of 1.49 euro. On the right, the line to visit the Palace of Versailles.

The minimum wage in Paris is 1,200 euros. Lunch in a cafe costs an average of 15 euros. Traveling by metro costs 1.9 euro, but if you buy 10 tickets at a time, you will save money as the price will be lower: 1.49 euro. As for museums, the average ticket price starts at 15 euros. For example, to climb the Eiffel Tower, you must pay 25 euros. Entrance to the Louvre will cost 20 euros and sailing on the river Seine, about 15 euros.

A typical French breakfast costs 7.5 euros and includes a cup of espresso or coffee with cream of your choice, half a baguette, a croissant, a cube of butter and a small jar of jam.

In my first job, I was paid 80 euros a week. So on weekends, I often didn’t go anywhere to save money. But on the other hand, I walked up and down, from one side to the other, because when you don’t know anyone, you don’t have much to do.

The Basilica of the Sacred Heart (Sacré-Coeur) is one of my favorite places. First, because the temple can be visited for free (you can climb to the top). Second, from there, an incredible view of Paris opens up.

Renting a house in Paris is incredibly expensive. So for a 9 square meter “elevator” you will have to pay around 450 euros per month. A studio with a small balcony will start at 800 euros. Houses are rented unfurnished. You will have to take care of buying a sofa, a wardrobe, chairs, a table and other things you will need. I was lucky, the apartment I’m renting has a built-in wardrobe, which allowed me to save some money.

In Paris, there is such high demand for housing that realtors feel like kings. Here they are not the ones who go out of their way to please you, but, on the contrary, the customer is the one who must show that he can pay regularly, that he is a clean and pleasant person.

When I signed the contract, I didn’t even see the owner. Everything is arranged with the real estate agent. And if in the first few months in the apartment, for example, a faucet is broken, the agency undertakes to solve the problems for free.

I always laugh when I see books like “1000 and 1 Frenchwoman secrets” or “How to look like a real Frenchwoman” in stores. In fact, the natives wear what they feel comfortable with. And it’s not Stiletto heels and a little black dress. In most cases, loose-fitting pants and flip-flops. If they are in heels, they will not exceed 3 or 4 cm.

In France, it has long been considered distasteful to wear natural fur.🇧🇷 People fight for animal rights, so nobody has fur coats. They wear overcoats, raincoats, jackets, and if they have fur, they will always be synthetic.

I borrowed a French friend’s faux fur coat specifically for the photo shoot.

French women hardly wear make-up. Maximum: tonal foundation, mascara and red lipstick. In everything, they always prefer the natural. It is important that the skin is clean and well maintained. Here, nobody does eyelash extensions and lip augmentation with hyaluronic acid. Girls use regular nail polishes, not gel ones. And on the subway, I often see women with peeling nail polish.

That’s why some tourists are so attractive: lots of accessories to shine, miniskirts, high heels and lots of cosmetics. This is what a tourist among them reveals.

My friend is a true Parisian. Once we decided to have fun and dress him up as a “typical Frenchman”, as foreigners usually imagine.

The people of Denmark have the Hyge and the French to joie de vivre (“joy of living”). It’s a certain ability to perceive life in a positive way, to reduce everything to a joke. It cannot be said that all French people are optimistic, it depends on the person’s temperament, as elsewhere. But they try to take a positive approach even in the face of failure, considering it a favorable experience. They also make many decisions quite spontaneously. For example, on weekends, you can go to the opera or “air your head” somewhere along the coast or in the mountains.

I think joie de vivre is that the French respect family traditions, such as obligatory family dinners. They often meet in restaurants with their loved ones and friends, just to gossip and have fun. And yes, most of them actually drink a glass of good wine every day during their meal.

Having lived here for a few years, I noticed a pattern: in France, it is much easier to establish yourself as a refugee and enjoy the benefits offered by the state than it is to be a foreigner who is trying to get a local education and job according to your specialty, who pays high taxes and even then practically has to ask a residence permit.

the bureaucracy: The French are proponents of the love of paperwork. When you renew your residency permit, you may need documents that were not on the list. When looking for an apartment, you will have to present a complete file not only from you, but from your guarantor as well. At an agency, they even went so far as to ask my guarantor for the marriage certificate. The same kilos of paper will be needed everywhere: to get a driver’s license, to obtain health and other insurance, to enter university, etc.

This is me now. 26 years old in the photo.

After 4 years, I have the possibility to rent my own apartment, I have a good job, I have traveled to 13 countries and I try to discover new cities every weekend. I don’t intend to stop here and in the future I want to get a French driver’s license (I already have the driver’s license…