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4 keys to recognize if a friendship is worth it

Friendship can enrich us a lot, but it can also seriously harm us if we do not know how to recognize when it has become harmful. In this sense, those who are close do not always do us good and sometimes we have no choice but to move away.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Have you ever wondered if the friendship you have with someone is really positive and beneficial for you? Have you come to question whether you are too demanding or if, really, that person’s behavior is toxic and harmful? It is not always easy to accept that the time has come to end an important relationship. Therefore, we want to provide you with some keys that will help you recognize if a friendship is worth it.

We are social by nature. Therefore, establishing and maintaining meaningful and deep connections, such as friendship, can benefit us enormously. However, not all friendships are positive; some can seriously harm us.

Despite this, it is not easy for us to recognize it. Much less act accordingly. Frequently, We maintain harmful friendships out of inertia, out of respect for shared years, or out of fear.. Thus, we can justify the other to unsuspected limits in order to avoid having to end that friendship. However, the following guidelines can help you clear your mind on this matter.

Keys to recognizing if a friendship is worth it

It’s reciprocal

Reciprocity is an essential element in any human relationship. When we bond with someone emotionally it is important to give and receive at the same level, or at least in similar proportions. If this does not happen, unbalanced relationships are established in which one seems to have power over the other.

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So, If in a friendship you are the only person who invests their time, energy and resources in the relationship, pay attention. We all have jobs and obligations and it is not healthy to demand absolute availability from those around us. However, when someone repeatedly shows that our friendship is not a priority, we may need to rethink the relationship.

He is loyal

People evolve and become part of diverse environments as our life circumstances change. We can make new connections in many contexts. However, This does not mean that we should ignore those who were previously part of our lives..

In this regard, There are those who stop caring for and cultivating a friendship when they find another one that is more appropriate or beneficial to them. at that moment. And, in the same way, when this other fails them or their circumstances change, they return to the one they left behind. If you are a victim of this type of behavior from a friend, don’t be afraid to set limits.

Is trustworthy

Trust is the basis of any friendship; It is the pillar on which intimacy is based, confidences and mutual support. When we discover that a friend has shared with others what we share intimately and we think that he would not share, that he has spoken badly about us behind our backs or lied to us, that trust is irremediably broken. Ask yourself: is it worth keeping someone you can’t trust in your life?

It’s healthy

First of all, to recognize if a friendship is worth it, we must look at whether the relationship is healthy. This implies, on the one hand, that the bond is free of manipulation, coercion and emotional blackmail. A good friendship wants you free, respects your times and decisions and does not try to manipulate you.

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On the other hand, A healthy relationship is one that is not contaminated with envy. The one in which both members support, encourage and encourage each other towards the achievement of personal goals. If the other person tries to sabotage you, downplays your achievements, or tries to convince you that you are not capable of achieving your goals, it is better to walk away.

What to do after recognizing if a friendship is worth it?

If you become aware that any of your friends do not meet the above points, spend some time reflecting on it. It is important to be assertive and able to dialogue with others and express what is happening.. It is legal to give that person the opportunity to modify his behavior, since perhaps he was not aware of the damage he was causing.

Nevertheless, If after having expressed these attitudes to ourselves they continue, we must prioritize our well-being and our mental and emotional health.. We are the reflection of the people with whom we spend the most time and, therefore, we have to be careful with this selection.

It can be hard to end a years-long friendship, but if we have now been able to see something that we did not perceive before, we should not feel guilty for taking care of our space.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

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Montañés, MC, & Iñiguez, CG (2002). Social emotions: falling in love, jealousy, envy and empathy.Bucosky Yolde, M. (2018). Friendship relationships, associated values ​​and psychological well-being, in the adult population of CABA and the GBA. In X International Congress of Research and Professional Practice in Psychology XXV Research Conferences XIV Meeting of MERCOSUR Psychology Researchers. Faculty of Psychology-University of Buenos Aires.Porter, E. (1999). Women and friendships: Pedagogies of personal attention and relationships. Feminisms and pedagogies in everyday life. Madrid: Morata Edition, 66-86.

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