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4 blocks that prevent you from finding a partner

Do you think you have bad luck in love? Can’t find a partner even though you would like to? Maybe it is some psychological block that limits you in this regard.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Life as a couple is not the only alternative, of course. However, if at this moment you want to share your life with a person and after a while there is no one who fits, it may be due to certain psychological obstacles. Our mind can sabotage us in such diverse and subtle ways that, sometimes, they go unnoticed.. However, once you identify the blocks that are preventing you from finding a partner, you can start working on them.

Most of us experience, at some point, blockages in some area of ​​our lives.. That is, beliefs, ideas or thought patterns that limit us in achieving a goal. If, in your case, finding a partner seems like an unattainable goal, ask yourself if you identify with any of the following situations.

Some blocks that prevent you from finding a partner

You feel like you don’t deserve it

The lack of perceived worthiness can be the source of difficulties in finding a partner. Self-esteem, confidence and perceived self-worth are essential when it comes to relationships. with other people, especially on a love level.

Maybe you consider that you are not attractive, cultured, interesting or successful enough. Maybe, at a more or less deep level, you feel that you don’t deserve another person to love you, that you don’t have much to offer, that others are better than you.

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It is important that you remember that perfection does not exist. and that all people have virtues and areas for improvement. There will always be someone younger, slimmer or smarter, but this doesn’t mean you don’t have a lot to contribute to a relationship. Therefore, start by working on your self-love and start seeing yourself how you would like others to see you.

You are afraid to commit

The fear of commitment does not always manifest itself in a clear and obvious way. Maybe you think you want, above all, to build a strong, long-lasting relationship. However, You may harbor a fear of being vulnerable, trusting, and depending on another person..

A bad past experience (either with an ex-partner or with one of your main attachment figures in childhood) may have led you to believe that to love is to expose yourself to the danger of being harmed. Isn’t it logical, then, that you try to protect yourself?

If you feel that this is your case, working on those previous experiences can help you heal and understand that every relationship implies a risk, but that the alternative may be harming you even more.

You have a bad idea of ​​what you are looking for

Human beings can become extremely contradictory. We want a life as a couple, but we believe that relationships take away our freedom. We are looking for a partner, but we may think that all men are unfaithful and superficial, or that all women are manipulative and interested.

From this view it is really difficult to find a partner, because why would you want to be with someone with such negative qualities?

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If this is one of the blocks that prevent you from finding a partner, you can rethink the concept you have of love and your potential partners. Try to see in the couples around you a place for inspiration, rather than for envy or criticism.. Instead of pointing out every interested woman or unfaithful man and using them to reinforce your belief, look for examples that reflect what you want: a loving and respectful person.

You feel like a victim

Finally, it is important that you try to get out of the victim mentality. How many times a day do you repeat to yourself how unlucky you are in love? How many times do you remember and review all your love failures?

Instead of feeling miserable and trapped in an unfair situation, recognize that you have the ability to change it. Identify what went well for you in the past and learn from what went wrong, Maintain a clear idea of ​​what you want and try to work on optimism, as this disposition will help you be more open to the opportunities that arise.

The blocks that prevent you from finding a partner can be worked on

If you feel identified with any of the previous situations, do not think that any of them are a sentence to being single. On the contrary, they are the map that will guide you about what you should work on.

Beliefs are learned and, in the same way, they can be unlearned. Now that you have recognized your blocks, you are closer than ever to transforming them to achieve the relationship you want to live.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Wood, J.V., Heimpel, S.A., Manwell, L.A., & Whittington, E.J. (2009). This mood is familiar and I don’t deserve to feel better anyway: Mechanisms underlying self-esteem differences in motivation to repair sad moods. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 96(2), 363–380. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0012881Galeas, JDRV, Verdesoto, MVV, & CHoez, XEF (2019). Emotional impact of infidelity in relationships. Importance of its knowledge for the clinical psychologist. Opuntia Brava, 11(4), 349-361.

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