16 solutions when trust in the couple is broken

Confidence is a good emotion. It makes people feel confident to expose their vulnerability, knowing that no one will take advantage of them.

According to psychoanalyst Erik Erikson, trust is the building block for living a good life.

Like when they tell you to trust life and the universe, since everything happens for a reason.

When there is no trust in a relationship, fear takes its place and the results can be dire.

Even from the earliest stages, trust plays an important role in developing a healthy relationship.

Confidence also has the “power” to stimulate oxytocin production according to Paul Jak, writing in the Harvard Business Review. And along with a heightened sense of purpose, it produces happiness.

The truth is, no one can deny the importance of trust.

But, trust does not develop by itself, it is not simply there, but there are things that promote it.

In a relationship with your partner, it takes commitment and consistency to build trust.

If you have doubts about the level of trust in your partner or need help to generate it, keep reading.

Here are 16 solutions when trust in the couple is broken

If the trust in the couple has been broken, it is time to work on rebuilding it and I must warn you that it will not be an easy road. So let’s get started without further delay on the points you will need to work on.

1) Prioritize the relationship

When you consider your partner’s thoughts and feelings, you make them feel loved and respected.

However, this does not mean that you should give up your interests and put your partner’s interests above them.

It simply means thinking in terms of “WE” instead of “I”.

Doing so will make him feel important to you and make him trust you more.

And the same thing if you want to work on the trust that you feel towards him, you can express to him your need for him to take you more into account when making decisions.

2) Know yourself

The work of introspection and self-knowledge will not only help you to have a better relationship with your partner, but it will also be beneficial for you in all other areas of life.

Knowing what you want and need and having the ability to communicate it clearly is something we should all do.

Many people “don’t have time” to work on their personal development, but in my opinion they are just excuses for not wanting to go deep.

Working on yourself and being better every day will only bring you greater well-being in the future.

In addition, being clear about your strengths and areas for improvement will allow you to focus better and of course have more confidence.

3) Be yourself

It takes two to tango.

If you want your partner to trust you again, then you also need to show that you have trust in the relationship and especially in him.

When you are true to yourself, you let your partner know that you trust him.

By showing your vulnerability, your weaknesses and fears, you trust that he will accept you for who you really are.

So, let your guard down and show the real you, flaws and all.

Remember that there is no perfect relationship.

The perfect thing is to know the imperfections of the other and to love them, that is what makes it perfect.

4) Communicate with your partner

I never tire of saying it, communication is very important in a relationship.

According to a study conducted by a professor at the University of Illinois, it is critical to building and maintaining strong relationships.

Good communication is the one that is carried out with respect and clarity.

When you truly communicate with your partner, you show that you feel safe enough to express your concerns, needs, and fears without fear.

It is a key tool for working on trust when it has been broken and fostering intimate moments in your relationship.

5) Harness the power of positive reinforcement

If you are a person who appreciates what you have and practices gratitude, this will not be a problem for you.

But let’s be honest, there are many people who prefer to focus on what’s missing. This can be reasons for constant claims to the partner.

But keep in mind that appreciating the good things your man brings you will help rebuild your trust in each other. Also, when he feels useful and valued, he will want to give you more of what you appreciate so much.

And if there are things you don’t like, talk to him assertively and honestly. Always mentioning how you feel instead of judging what you think he did wrong.

6) Be careful with words

Sometimes in the heat of an argument, people can say things they don’t mean.

This can leave a disastrous effect on a relationship and break the trust they had built. The power of words is very great, both for good and for bad.

With your words, your partner can feel comfortable and confident or also rejected and misunderstood. Therefore, be aware of the words you use and their impact on the person you love.

There is also what we call non-verbal communication and it is just as important as verbal communication.

Your partner will interpret the tone of your voice, body language, and facial expressions.

And it will do it unconsciously so there is no escape from this radar, we all have it.

Therefore, make sure that you are consistent and convey a clear message with your words and your body.

7) Express yourself

And while it’s important to take care of the way we say things, it’s just as important to say things when we mean them.

I know, there are difficult conversations, but it is necessary to have them so as not to keep the emotions that come with them.

Even though you know your partner will disagree with you, it’s important to always communicate and express yourself with your partner.

At the end of the day, if you can’t be yourself with the person you love, who else?

On the other hand, even if they do not have the same opinion on an issue, the dialogue will allow them to realize that there is always room for agreement.

8) Be the best friend of your partner

Research conducted by John Helliwell states that couples who think of their partner as their best friend are happier and more satisfied.

The conclusion of the study is that having a partner with whom you can talk and share life’s challenges helps create a meaningful relationship.

Also, if a couple doesn’t have that emotional connection with each other, it can lead to emotional and physical adultery.

Something we all definitely want to avoid, right?

9) Be trustworthy

Just as respect begets respect, trust also begets trust. If you have failed in some aspects, there is no use regretting it, just become a trustworthy person from now on. It is the only way to repair what has been broken.

In order for your partner to trust you, you must be trustworthy yourself.

Trust is built by being honest and faithful. And doing what you say you will do.

It’s very simple, if you’re not sure you can commit to something, don’t do it.

So if you can’t do what your partner asks of you, be clear that you can’t avoid unfulfilled expectations.

Also, being committed to your partner beyond temptations will strengthen your relationship.

10) Learn to ask for forgiveness

Another great attribute that makes you trustworthy is when you accept your mistakes.

We all commit them, without exception.

But for some reason we have a hard time accepting them and asking for forgiveness.

You will be surprised by the power of an apology, when we are wrong and we accept it in front of the other, the whole situation changes.

So instead of discussing why you were so late, just admit your mistake and apologize.

11) Accept each other’s influence

Dr. John Gottman states that if one partner is winning, especially the husbands, both are losing.

His research found that relationships are much more successful when husbands are influenced by their partners.

It means that it is healthy when spouses avoid being too estranged and defensive in order to “win” a situation with their partner.

One example he gives is of a husband and wife discussing their plan for Thursday night, because the wife’s mother will be visiting. A statement of attack from the husband and her words were: “My plans are set and I will not change them.”

When a husband does not accept his wife’s influence, it can create big problems in their relationship.

But when men are able to be influenced by their partner, it will lead to happiness and contentment.

12) Mend differences in the relationship

Conflicts and disagreements are normal in a relationship. But it is important that the relationship is adjusted and repaired before the problems get out of control.

One way is to know when to apologize to your partner and validate what the other feels.

It’s because in a relationship, being happy is more important than being right.

13) Be responsible

When a relationship faces challenges, as is common in most cases, it is important to stay with your partner and work together to find the solution.

Being responsible means being emotionally, physically and mentally prepared to face any trial with your partner by your side.

14) Be positive

Dr. John Gottman is considered a relationship expert with 40 years of experience.

He claims that the secret to a successful relationship is: have five positive interactions with your partner for every negative interaction.

It means that if you hurt your partner’s feelings, you have to make it up to five times by doing positive things like smiling and laughing together, asking them questions, taking an interest in their day, or saying I love you.

The main point is that positivity is what nurtures mutual love and trust.

Trust, or lack of it, has the power to make or break a relationship.

Trusting someone can be difficult, especially if you’ve been hurt before, but with trust comes joy, stability, and peace.

15) Share quality moments

There is nothing that brings us closer to our partner than sharing those special moments where you feel truly connected.

It doesn’t even have to be a private moment in the bedroom. It can be a moment as simple and beautiful as sharing a lunch together in front of the river appreciating the sunny day. Or stay together hugging for a few minutes.

So that your feeling of mutual trust never wavers, it is important that you make sure that you share quality moments together.

16) Respect each other’s space

I know, sometimes in the excitement of falling in love we just want to be with our loved one all the time.

But this is certainly a two-sided coin.

You will surely enjoy it now, but over time if they do not maintain their own individual spaces and goals it could cause difficulties in the couple.

You should not neglect your space for yourself and always keep those activities that you love and are only for you. Like painting for example, reading, a yoga class. I’m sure there are things you know are good for you and you don’t want to give them up for anyone.

Same for…