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15 secrets of a smart lover: how to conquer your man

Being a smart lover is synonymous with defiance, bravery and cunning.


Because if a woman chooses to be a lover, she must act carefully and strategically.

Not only to protect herself, but also to seduce her married man.

Because she must fight to keep that man’s heart within a bond of three.

Therefore, lovers have well-kept secrets to keep interest active.

Here I will reveal these 15 tools so that you can completely conquer your married man.

Let us begin!

The 15 secrets of a smart lover

Being an intelligent lover implies understanding the rules of the game of infidelity.

That is, you deserve to have a love relationship based on love, respect and without deceit, of course.

But if you are already in love with your married man, you may want to keep him with you.

Especially if it’s clear that the relationship with your wife is over, but you still can’t let go.

These secrets will help you get him to take the step you need in a positive and patient way.

But they don’t want you to be their accomplice for the mere fact of hurting their wife.

Before acting, think about what is at stake and what you really want for yourself.

1) Not available at all

An intelligent lover does not neglect her personal life to be available to the married.

He tries to emphasize that he is independent and does not go out of his way to constantly indulge him.

If you were planning to go out with friends, don’t stop because he asks you out.

This creates an invisible limit on your relationship, transforming you into someone desirable to him.

Think of it like this, the more times you leave him wanting to see you, the more he’ll want to.

2) Does not leave details

It is not necessary for your wife to find out about your infidelity in a nasty way.

Since that will end up having a negative impact on your relationship with your married man.

So try not to leave a trace that they have been together.

Try not to stain his clothes with lipstick, or put on strong perfumes so that he smells like you.

If you have a pet, keep it in mind so that it does not leave traces either.

If your cat or dog fills your entire apartment with hair, no matter how much you clean, pay attention.

Have some utensil available to remove your pet’s hair from its clothes.

That you are attentive to this and protect it, he will love it.

3) Has a partner or dates

You don’t need to miss out on getting on with your life just because you’re a lover.

Just as he is still “married”, you have the right to meet other men or have a partner.

Of course, do not hide it from your married man and much less from your partner.

Since that will not only generate conflict between you, but it will make you be “the unfaithful one.”

And with your married man it’s enough, don’t you think?

The world of romance is very open nowadays.

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Being transparent from the beginning will give you the opportunity to meet someone who wants the same thing as you.

It is not necessary to live from lie to lie.

4) Belong to different worlds

The ideal is to be a lover of someone who would never come across any of the activities of your life.

That is to say, both work and are dedicated to different things and do not have acquaintances in common.

That makes it much easier for your relationship to stay private.

At least until they’re both ready to transform it into something else.

So, don’t try to pry into his personal life unless he invites you.

Otherwise you will be uncomfortable and insecure.

5) Irregular encounters

Surely you are wondering: “how often do lovers see each other?”

This depends on what kind of life and free time each one has, of course.

Although, the ideal would be for lovers to see each other during the week and in irregular encounters.

That is to say, not to generate a routine of the meetings, because it makes it easier for them to discover them.

Especially if he sleeps with you.

If families are involved, it’s best to be during the week.

Since on the weekend you have to give explanations and there is more risk of being caught by an acquaintance.

6) They speak during business hours and without anxiety

To avoid making them uncomfortable and insecure, it is best to talk when he is not at home.

Also, avoid harassing him with messages or calls in an anxious way.

Let him come to you on his own when he is available.

This will make them speak in a more relaxed and free way.

7) Compare yourself to your wife (out loud)

If you start talking about her, the magic will be broken.

And, inevitably, you will end up thinking about that comparison as well.

Ideally, make a mental note of whatever he mentions about her.

And use this information to your advantage.

For example, not repeating things that she does and that he confesses to you that he hates.

8) He does not claim love, nor does he feel jealous

Constantly asking her “Do you love me or her more? Would you leave her for me?”, he is not astute.

That only highlights your need for him to make an urgent decision.

And it can even generate further feeding your jealousy for his wife.

Don’t push it. If there is love between you, then sooner or later it will take the step you need.

9) Does not try to convince him to leave his wife

An intelligent lover understands that this is something that must come from the married man.

He does not try to manipulate the situation, let alone the man’s feelings.

However, you can sow the seed of doubt in him with behaviors and details.

For example, paying attention to what he likes and doing it.

10) He does not talk about money

Asking him how much he earns or how much things have cost him will only give the impression that you are with him out of interest.

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And that you want something in return.

11) Show your qualities

You must understand that there are some things that can make him never leave his wife. His children, the social stigma, etc.

Be clear that your goal is not to replace his wife.

Focus on other positive aspects of what a new relationship with you could be.

Show him your qualities and what he would gain by being by your side.

12) He does not look for his wife

Letting his wife find out about this clandestine relationship won’t turn out what you think.

An intelligent lover does not seek to confront the wife with the truth.

That will only cause the woman to leave him, not him making the decision because he really wants to be with you.

Or, on the contrary, it can cause your wife to rebuild the relationship.

In addition, generating this type of confrontation between lover and wife can cause a lot of pain.

Not only to the woman herself, but to the family she has formed with him.

13) Understand what your wife is doing wrong

In married life some people tend to change.

Becoming more authoritarian or occupying the role of the couple in an invasive way.

This makes some men feel left out and question their manhood.

Unconsciously, they go looking for a lover to prove their manhood.

An intelligent lover identifies what is the main problem in her marriage.

And she will try to make the man feel everything that he cannot in his home, so that he is better.

14) She does not put herself in the place of a psychologist

The fact that he has chosen you as his lover does not imply that you should become his psychologist.

Or your marriage counselor.

Being part of an affair involves helping to process obstacles in your marital relationship.

But it does not mean that you will help him to get his marriage out.

Unless you want to, of course.

So be careful not to confuse having deep conversations with therapy sessions.

15) Try to get to know him and keep his interest

When a lover decides to stay with the man behind the affair, she must connect with him.

Obviously, keeping the flame burning in bed is essential.

But they should also know each other well as a couple to try to strengthen the bonds.

Being aware that there must be more than a physical attraction to achieve this is important.

Taking an interest in his life, passions, aspirations and knowing yours will help.

And, who knows, maybe you can create hopes and life goals together.

What NOT to do if you are a lover

We know that being in a relationship with a married man is a delicate and complex situation.

And any wrong move can have negative consequences for both of you.

Peaceful! Here I will share the basics for you to survive as a lover.

DO NOT interfere in their marriage

A mistress should not interfere in the relationship of the married man with his wife.

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It is important to respect the existing relationship and not try to separate the couple.

Leaving his wife for his lover is a decision for a man to make for himself.

And not because of the pressure of the mistress.

don’t neglect your life

Don’t stop living your own life and connecting with those you care about in the process.

Remember that the relationship with a married man can be a temporary situation.

Don’t put your friends and family aside just to be there for him.

DO NOT wait for it to break up

Many married men will never leave their wives.

As a lover you should not expect this to happen.

And you must always be prepared for the worst.

Since these are the rules of the game of infidelity.

If he decides to stay with his wife, you must accept it.

DO NOT try to maintain the relationship

If the relationship is not doing you good or you are suffering too much, you must have the courage to end it.

Love triangles can be very complex and you need to be able to recognize when the relationship is no longer healthy.

Remember, before him and his well-being, you must protect yourself.

Psychological consequences of being a lover

Becoming the lover of a married man can be a complex experience.

On one hand, it can be rewarding.

Since you have an intense emotional and sexual connection with a man who gives you attention and affection.

However, it can also make you suffer from negative emotions such as pain and frustration.


Because being the lover of a married man implies being in a clandestine relationship.

Which means you have to keep your relationship a secret. As much as you don’t want to.

This can be even more difficult if you are in love or want to achieve a serious relationship.

A study published in the National Library of Medicine indicates that within a relationship:

“Victims and those involved in infidelity frequently experience negative outcomes, such as decreased self-esteem, increased risk of mental health problems, depression, and guilt.”

As a lover, then, you may also experience guilt for interfering in your marriage.

And it even makes you sometimes self-question morally.

Because, although you choose to be a lover, you do not enjoy the situation of the love triangle.

This can lead to feeling diminished and a sense of low self-esteem.

If, in addition, you realize that your married man will not leave his wife for you, it is likely that you will be disappointed.

Which would also generate a decrease in your self-esteem and could hurt you deeply.

When the mistress leaves the married man

If despite trying to maintain the link with him, you realize that the situation cannot move forward, let him go.

To achieve this successfully, I recommend that you do not seek to keep in touch with him.

As much as he claims you and tells you that he is suffering.

Also don’t try to confront his wife to say that she has…

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