14 tips to overcome a relationship crisis

When we talk about overcoming a relationship crisis, there are mainly 2 attitudes that people adopt in this situation. On the one hand, there are those whose main objective is to emerge unscathed from the storm. They are people afraid of feeling vulnerable, avoidant individuals, who learned from childhood that expressing makes you weak.

Your greatest purpose in the face of the crisis will be to preserve your (hiddenly damaged) self-esteem. For this reason, they may refuse to dialogue, appear harsh, cold or evasive. They probably cope with the circumstances by occupying their mind with any other matter, due to their inability to manage emotions.

At the opposite pole are those people whose greatest expectation will be to save the relationship at all costs.. The feeling of anguish caused by the idea of ​​separation is so great that they are capable of forgetting themselves in order to avoid abandoning their partner. They will be incapable of providing space and will even betray themselves in order not to lose the other’s affection. Let’s see all this in perspective.

Attachment and couple crisis

The above situations arise from having established an insecure attachment bond (avoidant or ambivalent, respectively) during childhood. If we want to overcome a relationship crisis, or simply maintain a healthy and happy relationship, we must heal and modify our bonding style.

We must learn to relate without fear, from self-love and respect. Without running away and without depending. Finding a balance.

Guidelines to overcome a relationship crisis

It is possible to overcome crises in a couple. It is true that at first you have a catastrophic view of the problem, but with the right attitude, the will to fix it and open and honest communication you can save the relationship. Let’s look at some of these tips.

1. Be aware of the situation

Become aware of the negative exchange. On many occasions, the couple deteriorates because, without realizing it, both begin an exchange of negative communications that escalates. One of the members is having a bad day and makes an unfortunate comment, the other responds with anger or contempt and, thus, the reproaches and slights worsen as the days go by. Identifying this cycle will help you stop it and consciously begin a positive exchange.

2. Take some time if you need it

Take some time if you need to, but remember that communication is the key. It is possible that, at a certain moment, you do not want to talk to your partner or you are not ready to do so. Ask him to postpone the conversation for a few hours or a few days, but don’t fall into avoidance. If you flee from dialogue because you do not face your emotions, you will be preventing a healthy and mature outcome.

3. Don’t betray yourself for love

Don’t forget that the most important love is your own. It is totally legal for you to want to fix the situation with your partner and show your intention to reach an agreement. Nevertheless, never give up your integrity and your dignity as a person to keep someone by your side. There is nothing more painful than losing yourself.

4. Never stop respecting your partner

Dialogue with love and respect. It doesn’t matter if you feel angry, hurt or offended. There is no excuse for treating another human being without respect, especially if it is someone with whom you share a bond. so valuable. Keep in mind the appreciation you feel towards your partner and open yourself to listening, understanding and expressing yourself without hurting.

5. Act with clarity and maturity

Communicate assertively. Express how you feel about the situation and how you would like it to change. Avoid putting labels or adjectives on others and focus on how you feel. Reproaches create barriers, the sincere expression of feelings and proposals for improvement builds bridges.

Remember that each person perceives and interprets reality in a different way. Thus try to understand your partner’s vision and try to explain yours. In this way many misunderstandings can be resolved.

6. Establish clear and honest communication

Be clear with yourself and with the other person. Identify what the problem is and what the solution to it would consist of. If this is going through a change, communicate it, but if the only solution is a breakup, be equally clear. You both deserve sincerity and happiness, together or apart.

7. Be firm and commit to your decisions

Make a firm commitment to yourself, your partner, and the relationship.. If you choose to continue, do so being clear about the changes that are necessary for the couple to work and determined to put them into practice from the first moment.

8. Learn from the crisis

Extract learning from the crisis so that your bond comes out stronger. Difficulties can be a challenge but also an excellent tool for personal growth. If you approach adversity in the right way, your relationship can reach a greater level of depth, intimacy, and commitment.

9. Work on emotional intelligence

Managing emotions is an arduous task, since they are inevitable, automatic and greatly influence thinking and decisions. Therefore, faced with a scenario so intense in terms of the feelings it awakens, It is necessary that you focus on developing emotional intelligence so that the solutions you implement to solve the crisis are effective.

10. Review all your day-to-day habits

11. Keep a problem diary

This technique is useful so that no manifestation of relationship problems is forgotten. To do this, each member can write down up to 3 aspects of the relationship that made them feel bad at the specific moment.

Of course, this should not be a list to keep score for others. It should always be noted and expressed from the constructive and positive point of view, not revenge.

12. Check your own limits and your behavior

You are still individual people, so the relationship will inevitably be affected by the characteristics of each person. Therefore, the Intervening in how you relate to your partner involves getting to know yourself better, establishing your own limits and observing how you behave in negative moments.

13. Don’t forget self-care

If you are not well (or your partner is not well), it is logical that the discomfort will be reflected in the relationship. Therefore, never forget self-care. To face a relationship crisis it is necessary to have as clear a head as possible and your feelings in their place.

14. Go to therapy

Whether it is couples or individual therapy, going to a professional is always a good support to overcome crises. In the sessions you will be able to identify problems and acquire problem-solving strategies with greater ease and effectiveness.

It is possible to recover love after a relationship crisis. This is not always the case, but handling the conflict with maturity and respect will always be necessary to avoid emotional scars and serious conflicts with the other person. Never hesitate to apply love, even to a problem.

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