13 Signs of a healthy relationship

It is natural that from time to time people question whether their experiences as a couple fit the standard model imposed by society. However, each relationship is a completely different “world” with its own dynamics, where your experience may not be the same experienced by your family members and totally different from that of a friend.

we, from awesome.club, we analyzed some characteristics of relationships that are not the most exemplary, and found with psychologists that couples who break certain stereotypes tend to be happier. Check out!

A long period of silence, even when you are together, is a good sign. Even more so if you don’t feel uncomfortable about it and don’t feel the need to talk all the time. Dr. Roni Beth Tower believes that couples who can be together in silence with their own thoughts or doing some activity of their own have a special connection.

My father always told me that all I needed to make friends was have a good conversation, be good at listening and excellent at being silent. © Pretty*****Chalant / Reddit Being able to be happy in an “embarrassing” silence is actually the silence of true love. Says everything words can’t. © BigBossLittleFiddle / Reddit

Tracey Cox, a British relationship expert, notes that an increasing proportion of people are starting to go on holiday without their partner. And this can even strengthen the relationship: if you really love and trust your partner, you will definitely miss him, but at the same time, you can do whatever you want. For example, you can go visit a museum while your partner is climbing mountains.

Last summer I needed a break and my husband couldn’t take time off with me. I was pretty discouraged, but I decided to give myself a break without him. I didn’t leave town or anything, I just took a day just for myself. I spent the morning walking alone in the mountains, went out to lunch and went shopping for myself and not for my children. It was probably the most relaxing day I’ve had in a long time. I didn’t have to worry about my kids, or be in a hurry to get things done quickly because of my husband’s busy schedule. It was my day. I really love my husband, but I also love doing activities by myself. Having time for myself was very necessary. After that experience, I decided to take at least one day out of the year for myself, no husband, no kids, no job, no home, just doing whatever I want. © Lizzy White / Quora

Your ways of resolving conflict may not always be the same. Neil D. Fleming and Coleen E. Mills classify people into 4 groups according to their perception of what is most meaningful to them: visual people, who notice information better when it is presented through a visual representation; the auditory ones, who better perceive the information verbally; reading/writing people, who absorb information better by reading and writing; and kinesthetics, who perceive the world in a different way: what is important for them is to touch, smell, taste.

During the beginning of my relationship, whenever my partner and I argued, he would always try to hold my hand or hug me while we talked. But I felt nervous and needed space to think, so I pushed him away. We always got to a point in our discussions where he would just shut up or leave the apartment, and I couldn’t understand why. I figured he just didn’t care enough to talk things over with me. I finally learned that physical touch is a big part of his love language, and it was what he needed during/after our fights to feel emotionally connected to me. Since then, when one of us gets upset, we hold hands and talk. It’s a strange little thing that made a big difference in our relationship. © Salsa__Stark / Reddit

If your parents and your partner get along well, that’s a great sign. The situation is, of course, less pleasant when your family members and your spouse dislike each other, but this should not become the cause of conflict. Your partner is not obligated to attend family dinners with your parents, but if he truly loves you, he will treat your family with respect. Psychiatrist Abigail Brenner suggests that you set behavioral boundaries right away.

The Doctor. Mark White believes that people overemphasize the fact that their partner must share the same passions and interests. According to him, common tastes can stifle the couple’s problems, prolonging relationships that are no longer viable. Psychotherapist Diane Barth sees a problem with the fact that people often perceive compatibility as similarity. Most of us need someone different from us, who builds on our strengths and enriches our lives.

I believe that within a relationship the couple needs to have the same opinion about the things that really matter. For example, they both want to get married, have a quiet family life. Me and my partner don’t like the same kind of music, art, books, hobbies, we have very different friends, but we agree on the main things. We’re completely different in these little things, but in the end that’s why we’re still together, because it never ceases to be interesting. @Anonymous/Quora Finding someone who agrees with you on everything, and is exactly like you, I think would be pretty boring. I want a woman who will take me to new places, who will show me new things, new foods, etc. I don’t want a twin brother. @Mark Taylor / Quora

Sometimes we get so angry with our partner that we end up fighting. Dr. Elizabeth Dorrance Hall emphasizes that often the person we love receives the greatest burden of our negative emotions. On the other hand, conflict is good for the relationship because it signals the need for change for both parties. It’s important to end an argument by apologizing and admitting your mistakes.

I have friends who love having intellectual battles with each other, it’s how they connect and express their love. © Iwunderalot / Reddit No matter how angry you are with each other — you or your partner will do your best to help each other out if necessary. I can be very angry, but I will prepare dinner for my wife, even though I am not hungry. No matter how mad we are at each other (it usually doesn’t last long), but we will never ignore or try to teach each other a lesson. Often the fight ends with both of them apologizing. Arguing and getting angry is just part of the relationship and it’s inevitable. It’s how you handle it that separates a healthy relationship from a bad one. © kamikaziboarder / Reddit If your partner takes criticism seriously without trying to immediately return it to you in the form of new criticism, the two of you have a great chance of going a long way. © SqueakyCleanNoseDown / Reddit

Don’t try to do things for the other that he doesn’t like to do (e.g. make the bed, etc.). Do routine activities together or equally delegated. Psychologist Atalanta Beaumont advises that you don’t try too hard to please your partner. An overwhelming desire to care for others often dates back to childhood, when your efforts weren’t rewarded or weren’t considered enough and you felt unappreciated.

If you try to please everyone, you sometimes end up sacrificing your own needs. It’s okay to displease people. You can’t make everyone happy, and if you could, it would be worrying. © Daniel Dye / Quora

If you sleep apart from your partner because one of you snores in your sleep and the other is a very light sleeper, don’t worry, psychologist Katherine Schreiber notes that more and more couples are opting to sleep in separate bedrooms. An Ohio University study shows that healthy sleep is more important to relationships than sleeping together, because sleep disturbances can lead to serious family problems.

For years, sleeping in the same bed didn’t work for our relationship. This caused a lot of friction between us. We started sleeping apart and with that we became a better couple. A good night’s sleep without each other complaining about snoring or pulling up the sheets can do wonders for your relationship. We laughed more and relaxed. And at bedtime, we calmly say good night to each other and head off to our separate rooms. © Ameerah Ahmed / Quora

If one partner doesn’t give flowers to the other and their gifts are often economical and functional, psychologist Barton Goldsmith explains: Most people don’t try to do romantic things because they just don’t know how to do them.

I’m bad at remembering details. So I started recording them on my phone and that allowed me to be much more considerate of the people I love. © imasassypanda / Reddit

If both accept this fact, it in no way harms the couple’s ambitions. Psychologists say that couples without children are often happier than couples with children.

My husband and I have been married for 6 years and together for 9. The main positives of not having children is that we are free to do whatever we want. My husband started his own business and I’m doing a PhD in an area that I’ve always been interested in. We have the opportunity to travel and live in different countries for several months. On weekends, my husband plays with a band and they occasionally play shows. I work as a volunteer at an animal shelter and started taking French classes — I’ve always dreamed of learning. If we had children, we would likely have neither freedom nor time for our interests and hobbies. © Anonymous / Quora

If you can’t spend a lot of time with your partner, don’t worry, the important thing is to trust him and his feelings. Time together is really important, but far more important, according to psychologists, is how that time is spent. Joint activities should be enjoyable for both of you.

When I was first dating my husband, I felt he was distant at a time when we were both very busy. I never mentioned it to him or said I was uncomfortable, but I felt he was pulling away…