12 Things That Happen When A Narcissist Can’t Control You

Narcissists can be very controlling; so much so that you could often feel like you don’t have freedom in your relationship.

But what happens when you finally stand up to them and regain control? Do they run away, hide in a corner, or something even more sinister?

Narcissists are not inherently bad people; their behaviors simply stem from an inability to see beyond their own wants and needs.

They are characterized by having a big ego and believing themselves to be better than others. They also tend to think that others are envious of them. For them it is unthinkable that someone rejects them, so if a narcissist loses your attention, he will resort to various strategies to try to regain control over you.

Here are 12 ways a narcissist reacts when they can’t control you

1) Take the role of victim

This is one of the most classic narcissistic tactics.

She will play the victim and say that you are being controlling and a bad person.

Narcissists are very manipulative and love to be on top. If they’re not threatening or belittling you, they’ll be making up stories about how you mistreat them.

He will tell you that you are the one who doesn’t have time for him, and that it is your fault to “consider” him that you cannot have a healthy relationship with another person.

It will make you feel guilty to the point that you end up apologizing for “getting mad” or “hurt their feelings”.

When you finally regain control of the relationship, he may put himself in a position to pity you and try to make you feel guilty for “leaving” him.

He could tell you that you don’t appreciate him, or how horrible it is that you act like that after all he’s done. made for you. He will complain about how you are mistreating him.

He’ll hint that everything would be great, just if everyone would stop getting in his way. That is, without assuming responsibility for anything.

2) It will resort to “micro-manipulations”

These are very dangerous strategies because many times they make the other watch out for them or even come back worried.

Just to get your attention they are able to send you a message and delete it so you can ask them if something happened.

Or pretend that something very bad is happening to them, even if it is not true, to get your attention.

On one occasion when I was dating a narcissist, I remember him sending me a picture of him getting ready to go out, saying he was waiting for me.

He was mad at me because I had attended a friend’s birthday the day before.

He told me that it was his anniversary since he had moved and that we had arranged to see each other because he was alone and that he couldn’t believe that he had forgotten me.

I was taken aback, because we had never arranged to see each other, but for a moment due to his conviction I doubted if he would have implied that we would see each other.

That is the biggest risk with narcissists, who come to make you doubt what is happening. They make up stories and they can be very convincing. I think at a certain point, even they buy it.

He will use your empathy to make you feel bad for him and forget for a moment what made you angry in the first place.

3) It will be very deceitful and dishonest

Since the narcissist can no longer control you, you will have to get creative if you want to change the direction in which things are moving.

He’ll pretend he wants a break for a while, so he can figure out what went wrong and fix it.

Basically, he will act in a way to get what he wants at all costs, regardless of how it may affect you.

Narcissists are highly intelligent, so their cunning can be very powerful.

And you know what?

If you fight back, he will start to be aggressive towards you.

He might even start using blackmail or threats to leave you or even violence to control you. He will manipulate you and make you feel responsible for everything that happens.

He may complain about you to his acquaintances and spread rumors about you, or accuse you of being crazy or harpy.

He will blame you for anything that happens in his life. Mainly because his worldview is that everything is your fault.

4) It will appeal to your protective side

What happens in many unhealthy relationships is that they feed back.

Many women are attracted to men who we believe need to be “rescued.”

Then we fall into unhealthy ties where the other, probably hurt, reflects his deep illnesses in aggressive attitudes towards us.

Our feminine and caring side makes us feel that we want to help the other to get out of their pain.

A cunning and narcissistic man could take advantage of this trait and use it to his advantage.

He may threaten you by saying that he will go out drinking and taking drugs to get your attention, and on occasions he may threaten to harm himself or even commit suicide.

Seek to appeal to your maternal side that will not want anything bad to happen to it.

It is important that you do not let these threats change your decisions. You should know that he is looking to keep you by his side at all costs.

5) He will completely ignore you

This is something you may not have expected.

Narcissists feel they are entitled to everything and don’t try to understand why someone might be mad at them.

So when you start to defend yourself or stand your ground against his attacks, he will get even more furious.

He’ll feel like you’re stealing his power and making him look bad.

He may threaten you to leave or to figure things out on his own.

It could suddenly disappear, especially if you think you have reached the point of no return in your relationship. A narcissist will ignore you, only if he knows that this affects you.

He may sabotage your plans or argue that he is too tired to talk at the moment.

When you try to talk about his problems, he won’t get involved at all (tell you he doesn’t want to talk) and let you know he’s not mad at you but just not in the mood. All excuses.

He will prefer to keep his distance and disconnect from you rather than risk losing control over you completely.

6) It will humiliate you

Narcissists sometimes have no limits. They can be very aggressive and unforgiving with their behavior, which can cause you to lose control as well.

It could be that you have never done anything wrong, but they will still say that you did.

That’s how it is!

He’ll want to turn the whole world against you, and it’s all about him.

They will tell lies about you in front of people, make fun of you, or make others laugh at your expense.

It could criticize your work or start to undermine everything you’re trying to achieve.

They may harass you at work or flatly refuse to talk about the relationship, even if it sabotages it.

7) He will start a smear campaign against you

If a narcissist can’t control you, they will resort to any dirty trick to prevent you from being happy or getting anything you want.

They will make your life hell. As I mentioned before, he will be able to spread rumors about you to your friends and family, or even complete strangers.

You may accuse your friends or family of things that are not true. They may try to make it seem like it’s all your fault and that they are the victim. They can even spread lies about other people in your life.

Everything is valid to achieve his goal of hurting you after you were so cruel to him.

Badmouthing your character and behavior, whether it’s real or not.

This can be especially humiliating if it is completely false and people believe your lies.

8) It will stalk you

A narcissist will want to be in control, even when they cannot be.

So he’ll be persistent, and relentless, even if it means stalking you in a sick way.

Narcissists will go out of their way to show that they have control over you. They will come back to you even if you ask them to respect your space.

He will follow you wherever you go alone, or he may phone you and send you spam text messages in an effort to harass and control you.

They have no problem spying on your activities and communicating with you even if you are no longer together.

He could show up at your house unannounced and try to start a fight over everything you did wrong in the relationship.

The networks could also be another area where they stalk and attack you, they could start posting false things or comments about you or things like that.

It is possible that he follows you or looks for you when you leave work and other equally sinister attitudes.

If you get to the point of feeling insecure, it is important that you talk about it with your loved ones and even make a complaint.

No one has the right to make you feel insecure, don’t allow it.

9) It will go into denial mode

Narcissists are not good at facing reality. This is because in their world, they are the center of everything.

So instead of accepting that you are putting a limit, he will deny everything and do whatever he can to change things.

He will pretend that nothing has changed in your relationship, when in reality everything has completely changed.

When a narcissist disagrees with you, they will outright deny what is going on.

He will say that you are lying or exaggerating and that there is nothing that needs to change.

And again, he will try to blame you for everything that is going wrong. He will act as if all the problems are your fault in a desperate attempt to control you again.

He’ll tell himself that the reasons you’re upset with him are all in your head, because there’s no way he could be responsible, or that he abused you.

He’ll think you’re crazy and making things up, even when you have proof. They can reach that extreme of denial.

He may even get so angry that he explodes and holds a grudge against you for no reason.

They could stop talking to you for months or even years and refuse to answer your texts or calls.

10) They will find another couple and display it in front of you

If they do eventually break up and he finds another partner, he will be sure to use this new person to get back at you.

Narcissists don’t want to be alone and depending on how you act you could even make them miss you.

Then, he will go to any means necessary to get another partner and use it to show how much better off he is without you. You know it’s a desperate attempt to hurt you.

He doesn’t want someone to take away his power and make him look bad.

He will find a new victim and be left alone to “start over” or feel better about himself again.

Narcissists are unpredictable, so it is possible that from one day to the next he will appear with a new partner in his life without telling you.

And don’t be surprised if he tells the new person all your secrets and especially shortcomings.

You will be especially keen on turning people against you.

11) He will do everything possible to destroy your trust

If you’ve been with this narcissist for a while, he knows everything about you. He knows the things you feel insecure about and don’t doubt that he will use them for his benefit.

Narcissists take advantage of people who have low self-esteem and control them by making them doubt themselves.

I may tell you…