11 Irrational beliefs

Albert Ellis (1913-2007) was a cognitive psychotherapist of North American origin, who in 1955 founded rational emotive behavioral therapy – REBT. Based on a survey among experts from Canada and the USA (1982), he was proclaimed the second most accredited psychotherapist in history.

His technique is based on making conscious the irrationality of human thought, to understand and overcome the painful events of our lives. Albert Ellis’s premise is that It is not circumstances or events that cause emotional states.but rather the way of interpreting them.

Based on the above, Ellis proposes three basic irrational beliefs (which encompass the eleven irrational beliefs that underpin his work), which are summarized as follows:

I must do things well and deserve the approval of others. Others must act considerately and fairly. Life must offer me good and easy conditions so that I can get what I want.

Specifically, Albert Ellis’ eleven irrational beliefs are:

1. Beliefs about the approval of others

The approval of other people tends to be relative and of a positive or negative nature: everyone approves of us differently. Want Pleasing everyone generates servility. For this reason, approval must come from oneself and not from others.

2. You must be strong in all aspects

No one can be completely competent in all spheres of their life. Demanding success can lead to complete failure. This can lead to psychosomatic illnesses and stress, a permanent comparison with others, a superiority complex and a marked fear of making mistakes.

Acting well is for oneself and not for others. “Success” implies a series of complex processes, associated with “trial and error” and discipline in the practice of a profession. However, failure is the order of the day: we are simply not perfect.

3. “Evil” is voluntary and must be punished

According to Ellis, we act without “conscious evil.” “Evil” is a product of ignorance or emotional disturbance: of not being aware of the consequences of our actions.

Harsh punishment accentuates this tendency and tolerance tends to generate positive change. In this sense, it is inappropriate to judge others for their mistakes, without first understanding the context in which the circumstances occurred.

4. You must obtain everything you set out to do

The reality is one; The problem is that sometimes it does not fit our life expectations. Accepting the circumstances, as they are, is the best. If they can be modified, good; but if not, also.

It is not appropriate to approach all our desires as essential needs. That, sooner or later, will generate dissatisfaction and misery. The question: “Are things truly negative or am I exaggerating?” In reality, not everything is so good and not everything is so bad.

5. Everyone is as they are and cannot change

“Negative, self-destructive or painful emotions” can be changed. In Ellis’s thinking it is wrong to affirm that they cannot be transformed and that they simply have to be suffered. These types of emotions are self-construction. And since you create them yourself, you can also eliminate them.

It is necessary to analyze and discover “the illogical thoughts and phrases” that are associated with these emotions. This in order to modify those “own verbalizations” and then little by little transform the emotions in question. Therefore, one is primarily responsible for one’s destiny.

6. Worrying about what’s coming avoids mistakes

Adversities are not as dramatic as one thinks. The fears resulting from them hinder the power to decant and measure their real severity. Furthermore, “worrying” too much that something may happen not only does not prevent it from happening, but it can also help to make it happen.

Already in inevitable events (such as death) the pain can be significant when they occur, but the worry that they will occur can be more traumatic than the anticipated adversity itself.

7. Difficult things make life more complicated

Doing something described as “difficult”, setting a complex and long-term objective as a goal, as long as this or that one is of a beneficial and convenient nature, will generally entail not only a lot of effort, but also a lot of personal satisfaction. The above, depending on the significance of what was achieved.

Making the decision or taking the first step and committing to a difficult task or task can be more painful than carrying out said task. Not in vain, The decision-making process is more tortuous than the decision itself.

8. Independence must be sought at all costs

It is normal to depend on others: We do not live alone and we cannot do all things alone. The problem is when this dependency is greater than normal and, even worse, when other people begin to decide and think for us. However, in a healthy balance, any help should be welcomed.

9. It is necessary to leave all the past behind

The past will always be decisive in the present and in the future. But it doesn’t have to significantly limit our lives. The past can become a frequent excuse for not changing what needs to be changed.

10. You should try to change people so that they become better

It is convenient for our lives to accept that it is not up to us to change the way other people are. It is something that must happen autonomously, involving ourselves only to the point where the other person allows it.

According to Ellis, taking ownership of other people’s problems can be a pretext for not facing our personal problems. Respect for free will is of utmost importance to have healthy bonds with others.

11. Look for perfection

Speaking in terms of certainties or absolute truths will never be convenient for human beings. Neither in terms of statements, nor decisions, nor actions. Therefore, There are no perfect solutions, but some are more appropriate than others.. Deciding on the most viable and safest one will always be a good starting point, despite the above.

Nor forget that irrational beliefs can appear unexpectedly in our minds and can even seem like completely rational thoughts.. Given this, it is important to become aware of the way in which we interpret reality and how, many times, we overinterpret it to construct negative or adverse scenarios that are not really there. The way we see the world can radically change the way we feel in it.

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