11 exercises to increase frustration tolerance

Not knowing how to deal with difficult moments not only influences how we feel about the results we obtain, but also the attitude we assume towards them. Therefore, using exercises to increase frustration tolerance is a formidable strategy.

Being tolerant of ourselves and our frustrations is part of learning the art of living.. Life is not at our service nor does it always have to grant us the satisfaction of our desires.

There will be times when the path to what we long for is clear, but in others we will only encounter obstacles. What will we do in these cases: get discouraged or accept the difficulties?

Frustration tolerance

Human beings can have heterogeneous desires: a car, a job, a telephone, a university degree, etc. We are characterized by being in search of what we want or in the constant struggle to get rid of what we don’t like.. Both having and letting go are born from the desire for what we lack: “I need to have a motorcycle” “I need to stop being this way to become a better person.”

But what happens when life seems determined to obstruct the path towards the realization of our desires? We get frustrated. The tension between what we long for and resistance generates anger, helplessness, discomfort, anxiety, and despair. This feeling does not simply arise from the difficulty of achieving what we want, but from the way we interpret, manage and recognize the unfavorable result we obtain.

The impossibility of achieving everything we set out to do is an inherent aspect of our human condition. The frustration we experience as a result brings us down to earth. What can we do about it? The key is to be tolerant and learn to manage and accept the discrepancy between what is ideal and what is real.

In this context, frustration tolerance is central. This is understood as the ability to manage unpleasant emotions in the face of events that do not turn out as planned and that make the path to what we want difficult. It is the art of accepting what does not fit our expectations.

The discrepancy between expectations and reality often generates frustration.

Characteristics of people with low frustration tolerance

People who do not tolerate frustration have some common characteristics:

Procrastination or avoidance due to inability to tolerate frustration related to a situation. Impulse to “correct” a situation due to impatience.Discomfort or exaggerated discomfort.Persist in achieving immediate gratifications.Give up in the face of challenges.Avoid tasks and responsibilities that may cause distress or frustration.

Can we learn to be tolerant of our disappointments? This skill can be developed and acquired through the experience of challenges and setbacks. Immersing yourself in these situations and allowing yourself to experience the emotions that arise is the most effective way to learn.

Every frustration is the perfect moment to practice. Below, we show you exercises to strengthen your resistance against it.

Exercises to increase frustration tolerance

Practice makes a master. If you want to increase your frustration tolerance, you should execute these tips in every uncomfortable or adverse situation that comes your way.

1. Keep your peace of mind

One of the main exercises to increase tolerance to frustration is to maintain serenity and not let yourself be affected by it. To this end, Massimo Pigliucci and Gregory López have proposed in their book My stoic notebook an activity:

Imagine a situation that you have to face today and that may be frustrating. Repeat in your mind: “I want to do this activity, but I also want to stay calm and accept what is happening.” Imagine yourself acting calmly facing a frustrating situation.

Visualizing is the key to the entire exercise. In it we are invited to predict adversity and devise a plan of action to remain calm. Through this mental trick, you can be better prepared to face frustration in times of difficulty.

2. Accept your frustrations

Recognize the feeling of frustration you are experiencing and the thoughts what you have around her. Show yourself as you feel, but not from a claim, but from curiosity and kindness.

Accept your emotions and open to the present moment so you can move more effectively toward what you value. To promote acceptance, the American clinical psychologist, Steve Hayes, in his book A liberated mind, It proposes the following:

Embrace the experience the same way you would embrace a crying child. Sit with your experience the same way you would sit with someone with a serious illness. Inhale the experience the same way you would inhale deeply. Give up the fight with your experience in the same way that a soldier would abandon his weapons to return home.

Acceptance can help you reduce negative emotions that you have when faced with stressful events in your life, as stated in a publication in the Journal of personality and social psychology. That same article notes that “people who accept their mental experiences instead of judging them can achieve better psychological health.” So, if you want to cope with frustration and increase your tolerance, accept what happens to you.

3. Observe what you feel

Once you have identified and accepted the emotions that accompany your frustration, step away from them to see them from a broader perspective. This way you will have a better perspective of your sensations. in his book emotional agility, Susan David leaves us these techniques to distance ourselves:

Think about the process: See yourself in a long process and on a path of continuous growth.Look for the contradiction: Embracing and accepting these contradictions improves your tolerance for uncertainty.Change your point of view-Contemplate your feeling of being rejected from another person’s perspective.Verbalize what worries you: Identify your thought as what it is (a thought) and that emotion of rejection as what it is (an emotion). You can phrase it as “I am having the thought that…” or “I am feeling the emotion…”.

Emotional observation requires a process of self-distancing that allows us to analyze and contemplate what is perceived. This process facilitates affective regulation and reduces the activation of negative emotional responses.

To increase tolerance, it is essential to regulate emotions, and to do so, taking distance is an appropriate strategy. For this reason we have included this technique as one of the exercises to increase frustration tolerance.

4. Breathe and stay calm

Sit comfortably, gently close your eyes and place one hand on your abdomen, with your little finger just above your navel. The abdomen should rise with each inhalation and, upon exhaling, it must return to its original position.

Take a slow, deep breath through your nose for 4 seconds, hold it for 7 seconds, and release it slowly through your mouth for about 8 seconds. If you want, you can mentally repeat the word “calm” or “quiet” every time you exhale.

Relaxation and emotional self-control techniques are very useful for increasing frustration tolerance, as they help you regulate and manage your emotional activation.

Breathing and relaxation are two exercises to increase frustration tolerance that have great benefits.

5. Anticipate future frustrations

There is an exercise that Marcus Aurelius proposed in his Meditations which can help you deal with frustration and increase your tolerance. Pigliucci and Gregory propose to do it in the following way:

Every morning write down some situations that may not turn out as you expect and make it difficult to satisfy your desires. This will help you reduce the impact of adversities.Use a mantra to remind you that you are trying to improve and increase your tolerance for frustrations.

Getting ahead of frustrations is helpful. Not only will you be prepared to withstand their attacks, but it will give you the opportunity to think ahead of time about what you can do to deal with your feelings.

6. Increase your tolerance through small adversities

Another exercise to increase frustration tolerance is expose yourself to adversities gradually. Face small difficulties so that you expand your comfort zone, at the same time preparing yourself to face any disappointment. This will make your character stronger. Again, Pigliucci and Gregory formulated a technique that can help you with this:

Spend a minute or two listing the types of discomforts that cause you frustration. Choose a discomfort that you would like to be more tolerant of. Make sure your choice is not too harsh. Design an action plan to constantly expose yourself to it.

Exposure is a technique widely used in psychology to reduce the intensity of fears. But, in this case, we do not include it for that purpose, but so that you learn to deal with frustrations. Only by facing them face to face can you increase your tolerance.

7. Use your frustrations for your personal growth

If you can’t do anything to get what you want, learn to use that adversity to grow. “What does not kill you makes you stronger”. When you are in a frustrating situation, take it as an opportunity to cultivate tolerance. So if life opposes your plans again and again, show it your resilience and ability to adapt.

At the end of the day, think about how you could have been better and when you imagined you couldn’t cope. Reflect on your reactions and feelings and formulates new options to respond to these scenarios.

8. Change your way of thinking

Another exercise to increase frustration tolerance is cognitive restructuring (CR). This technique is based on the assumption that Thoughts affect emotions and behavior. Therefore, a modification to them can alter what we feel at a certain moment.

In general, the frustrations and emotions associated with it are nourished by what you interpret about the situation. Thus, Restructuring your way of thinking will produce a change in the way you live them.

To use CR to support your tolerance, identify what you think, feel, and do when you are frustrated. Then, question the veracity of your ideas, look for evidence against them, and change them to more adaptive ones.

9. Do physical exercise

To increase tolerance to frustration it is also necessary to be healthy. In this area, performing physical activity is a very appropriate strategy. Integrating it into your daily routine…