10 Ways to Say “No” Without Feeling Guilty

Do you find it easy to refuse to help your colleagues or relatives when they ask for something? For many, this is a real challenge. We are often afraid to say ‘no’, even when it is extremely difficult for us to do what the person is asking. In this way, we avoid conflicts and feelings of guilt. But such a habit often only causes irritation and makes us postpone our own life.

The ability to reject a request in the most elegant way and without causing conflict is useful for anyone. Therefore, the awesome.club gathered 10 pieces of advice to help you decline requests more easily without making your friends or family uncomfortable.

Before establishing relationships with other people, it is worth understanding what is really important to you. To do this, create a list of people, causes, and events you’d like to dedicate your time and strength to. It helps to prioritize what is really worth “spending” your life on🇧🇷

Perhaps this is the easiest way to reject something. When refusing to do what a person asks of you, offer an alternative, “a consolation prize”🇧🇷 For example, if tonight you can’t meet your friend who you haven’t seen for several months, promise to do it next week. The most important thing in this case is to try to be really helpful to the person who asked you for something, and not act out of a desire to get rid of the feeling of guilt.

If you can’t help someone, show her that you heard her and that you understand what she needs🇧🇷 Tell her that she is going through a difficult time, but that you are not able to help her in that situation or at that moment. This will help the caller feel better and it will be easier for you to accept your rejection.

The fact that you refuse to comply with your caller’s request only shows that now you do not have the possibility to help him. Of course, it’s important to be courteous and benevolent. You can praise the person or their work, but still maintain your firmness by saying “no”. This behavior will make it clear to the other person that you are not rejecting him, just that you cannot help him.

You don’t have to give a long speech; it is better to briefly summarize the reasons for refusal🇧🇷 Perhaps you are in a hurry because you have a doctor’s appointment, or you are very tired and need to relax. Or still do not want to do this work or borrow something for moral reasons. Try to talk about your motives honestly.

All knowledge will be just a theory unless you start practicing the skill of rejecting requests from different people. Start by choosing simple situations with minimal risk. For example, say no when the waiter offers you dessert🇧🇷 Try another form of training: stand alone in a room and repeat the word “no” 10 times. This will give you confidence when you need it.

Reject your interlocutor’s request, but do so in a way that feels like a compliment. For example, “Thanks for remembering me” or “I like that you ask me first”🇧🇷 You can say how important his work is, express your gratitude and wish him good luck.

We often find it difficult to say “no”not because we are afraid of offending people, but because we don’t want to miss an interesting opportunity🇧🇷 That’s how we forget that rejection is not just a missed opportunity, but a compromise. Take note: when we decline a request, we accept something more important. In this case, we simply choose one of two opportunities.

Some people are so persistent in their requests that they won’t leave their interlocutor alone until they get what they want, especially the people closest to them. If that happen, you don’t have to listen to them. The best tactic would be to simply give the same answer over and over again.

This doesn’t mean you don’t have empathy; yes, you can empathize, but you must not let the “no” gradually become a “maybe” and finally a “yes, of course.”

It’s really hard to say no. But when you deliberately delay your answer by saying “maybe” and then denying it, it’s much worse. In the long run, a clear and timely refusal is much more courteous and convenient for a person. When we don’t try to do everything at once, we conserve our time and energy. Better to do a few things well than to try to help the world and fail.

Remember a past situation where you said yes, committed to helping someone, but ended up regretting it.

Describe the feelings you experienced on this occasion when accepting the request and when you regretted your imprudence. What stopped you from saying no? Imagine what would have happened if you had denied the request.

Most likely, after this short exercise you will understand that nothing terrible will happen: resentment, discontent and anger are possible. But nothing catastrophic will happen. Experiencing certain emotions is a human right. When this happens, you will not become a bad person, but at peace with yourself.

It’s your choice, you can spend all your time doing what others ask. Or lead a life in harmony with yourself.

There’s nothing wrong with helping people. But this must be done from the heart. if you can’t at a given moment, better say no.

What ways do you use to not assume the responsibilities of others? Share your stories in the comments.