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10 Things We Consider Selfish But Are Perfectly Normal

When someone calls us selfish, we don’t usually take it as a compliment. However, such a personality trait is capable of making us better people, say psychology experts. Professionals in the area claim that thinking and worrying first about their own needs is part of human nature. However, this instinct ended up getting a bad reputation, coming to be seen as a source of negative emotions, such as fear and guilt.

We, from awesome.clubwe thought it would be helpful if you knew about situations where putting healthy selfishness into practice can actually make your personality develop and shine.

1. Enjoy time alone

Making time for yourself and addressing your own needs is an important part of overall well-being. Perhaps people who disrupt their alone time have difficulty being alone—they may feel bored or unhappy when in their own company. But none of this is your fault, and you have a moral right to spend time alone if you don’t want to share your moments of peace and quiet with anyone else.

2. Making choices different from others

There’s no problem wanting to walk your own path, different from the one chosen by others. If you don’t want to get married, have kids, or even get that job that most people would consider normal—all of those are your choices. Obviously, wanting to decide for another human being is selfish, but choosing something for yourself only indicates that you know what you want for your life.

3. Not responding to people right away

If, on the one hand, it can be selfish to neglect the people who count on you, on the other hand, there is nothing self-centered about setting your priorities. If you get a call or text message while you’re cooking, for example, it’s absolutely acceptable to finish tasks before you answer the person. After all, it is possible to return the contact later and no one is obliged to put everything aside immediately to respond to the caller.

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4. If it pleases

Just as it is important to take care of those close to you, it is also crucial to know how to please yourself, given that we need to love ourselves as much as we love the important people in our lives. It’s selfish to think only of yourself, but you need to be aware that we need to be our top priority. So if that new pair of shoes makes you happy, there’s probably no reason to think twice about buying them.

5. Not accepting to live with a toxic partner thinking about the good of the children

Many people who find themselves in relationships on the verge of ending remain with their partner thinking about the good of the children. For them, the children will have a better upbringing even within a conflicted family than if they suffer the negative impacts of a divorce. However, according to psychologists, children grow up and tend to imitate their parents’ relationship model, and when we separate from a toxic partner, not only are we happier, but we also help to prevent the little ones from suffering from problematic love relationships.

6. Not always following the “obey your elders” rule

Since the beginning, we have become accustomed to turning to older people in search of knowledge and life experiences. Today, with the advancement of technologies, the younger generations are more informed than the previous ones. Obviously, this does not mean that we leave university knowing everything, but today there is a greater possibility of people relying less on the experience of their elders to define what they want in life. And nobody should be blamed for that.

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7. Not being the “ideal parent”

Psychologists around the world are unanimous in stating that taking care of yourself is not a luxury, but a fundamental part of parenting. When the typical day of a father or mother is taken up by activities for the children, without the adult dedicating himself to anything for himself, sooner or later the result will come in the form of emotional exhaustion or even depression. So, making time for your own needs isn’t selfish, and it doesn’t mean you’re withholding love from your child. It just means that you are a parent who wants to be well so that you can raise your child happily.

8. Not wanting to have children

Most people spend their lives being told that everyone needs to have children, and that life is incomplete without them. Fatherhood and motherhood bring great joy, but ideally, such experiences come out of your own desire, not some kind of pressure. Taking this into account, we can say that it is not because a person does not want to have children that he is selfish or self-centered.

In fact, just the opposite occurs: individuals with greater self-awareness are able to ignore all the pressure exerted by others. They are people who know what they want in life and are dedicated to achieving their goals. No one should feel guilty about not wanting to have children.

9. Respect your own need to rest

When we feel tired—whether emotionally, mentally, or physically—it’s time to rest. Sometimes, all you need is a good night’s sleep. We know that there are several consequences arising from sleepless nights, including difficulty concentrating, compromised immune system and memory problems. Still, there are those who force themselves to continue doing this or that activity just to not make the other person upset.

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If you’ve been working late and not getting enough sleep, it’s time to find a work-life balance. And there’s not the slightest problem if you’d rather stay home and sleep than go out with friends or relatives. Even if this can be seen as a selfish attitude, it’s okay.

10. Ending a relationship, quitting a job or ending a cycle

It’s never easy to do things like end a relationship, move to another city or country, or even quit that job that no longer brings happiness. And when you feel bad talking to someone or stop feeling pleasure in the company of this or that person, it’s because you need to rethink the relationship.

It’s common for people to stay in harmful friendships or relationships just because they’re afraid of hurting the other. However, when it comes to toxic relationships, we need to put ourselves first. If there is something or someone affecting our well-being, it is certainly because the time has come to say goodbye.

Have you ever taken a stance that was eventually accused of selfishness, but which, in your view, was not? How did you react to the situation? Leave a comment sharing your experiences!

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