In the United States alone, about 20% of seniors never retire, and in addition, 75% of them suffer from at least one chronic health problem — many even have two or more serious illnesses. It’s never too late to be willing to help older people, including, of course, those closest to us. Every moment of attention can represent a joy, for example, in the lives of elderly parents, who already have adult children.
we, from awesome.club, we believe that we should all set aside quality time to spend with our parents, giving them the care they deserve. In this post, you will check out 10 things that adult children tend to do that end up hurting those who gave them their lives.
1. Neglecting parents
They miss you, need you, and want to spend time with you. When you leave your parents in a nursing home and rarely visit them, they feel sadly alone, regardless of whether they are surrounded by people of the same age.
2. Saying things you shouldn’t
These are some of the phrases with the greatest potential to hurt a parent when said by their children:
Why did you have me? You don’t care about me. Do you love my brother or sister more. I hate you.
Imagine yourself as an older person, with an adult child. Saying things like expressions can cause great trauma, especially when it happens within a context of manipulation.
3. Not being interested in their health
Not all seniors feel comfortable complaining when they are in pain or feeling unwell. Just asking how they are doing and letting them know that they can be honest about it will relieve them of stress.
4. Not helping them financially
We are not talking about treating the elderly as a child, but it may be a good idea to provide a certain amount for them to spend as they want, buy some appliance or even food. These are small gestures that stay in memory forever.
Manipulating the elderly to gain access to their financial resources can be framed as a crime, and the person responsible may need to answer to justice.
5. Ignore parents and family events
Yes, sometimes relationships with our parents can be difficult, but ignoring them will not solve anything, especially for the emotional well-being of the family as a whole. In some cases, it may even be better to scream and fight than to simply remove a parent from our lives. Avoiding the loved one is a temporary solution.
6. Never say thank you
Overestimating yourself, but not recognizing the value of others, including your own parents, is a very reprehensible attitude. Don’t forget, even if it’s occasionally, that it’s good to say words of gratitude and kindness.
7. Hide important information
We will always be our parents’ children, and it is obvious that they will care about us. Saying things like “Mom, that’s none of your business” will hardly make her feel more aware of what’s been going on in her life. Share your experiences with your parents, even if you omit some details, if you prefer. The simple attitude of saying the right words can resolve the conflict.
8. Getting irritated when you need to repeat something
Some people have the patience to teach and repeat things to foreigners or co-workers, but not to their own parents. But we need to remember: as we get older, we all have our memory affected.
9. Do not keep memories
Videos, photos and other memories allow us to remember more vividly moments that are in the past. If you have an album or flash drive with old photos, show your parents the contents. It will mean a lot to them.
10. Treat them as if they were children
No, they are not children, and they have more experience than you. They may be elderly, but they are still adults. As far as possible, when they don’t suffer from some health problem that disables them, they also need to have their dose of independence. Do not deny them that right.
Do you live with elderly people in your family circle? Do you think you give them the attention they deserve? Leave your comment!
Illustrated by Polina Chernevina exclusive to Incrível.club
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