10 Statements from people who had to choose between family and work

A while ago, our team encountered an intense discussion on the Reddit site: “What’s more important: family or work?” One of the users complained that he was barely able to meet his family because of his busy work schedule. In the post’s comments, others began to debate the need to make this choice.

Is it not more reasonable to lower your ambitions and understand that even the highest salary is nothing more than a pile of paper in your wallet or numbers in your bank account?

we, from awesome.club, we spend a lot of time in the office and sometimes we can’t maintain a work-life balance. Therefore, this topic interests us a lot. We’ve divided the post into two points of view (those who prefer family and those who prefer work) and then present arguments in favor of each. And, at the end of the post, we share some tips for workaholics — the so-called workaholics.

Many discussion participants highlighted that they were not ready to trade free time for extra work hours. They claimed that they are not so keen on the advantages provided by a well-paid but exhausting job.

An HR (Human Resources) company researched how much time we spend, on average, at work. 3,153 people participated in this survey. Only 16% of the lucky ones are able to completely “unplug” from work issues when they are away from the office. On the other hand, 3/4 of respondents sold their vacation at least once and 45% (men and women) worked on the weekend.

18 years ago, I was hired for my dream job. A short time ago, I got married and decided to pay off all the study loans I still had. We moved from New York to a big house in one of the best neighborhoods in the area. However, the work takes up all my time. I work a minimum of 60 hours a week and have only one day off.

Parents who work from morning to night barely have time for their children. They arrive, fall into bed and lie down, thinking about the next day’s whirlwind. And they know perfectly well how much their children miss them.

I miss my children. I had to miss a lot of their games and presentations, among other good moments that never come back. When I come home, my oldest son barely says good night. But he always talks with his grandmother about issues that concern him. He preferred, for example, to tell her the news about his new relationship.

They say that a successful person is one who lives in a fancy house, travels to the beach and has a state-of-the-art cell phone. But lately, a lot of people have chosen a more minimalist life. So, in England, there is the “No-buy” movement. Participants manage to save a lot of money and, at the same time, help the environment.

You can live on less money than you used to spend. Just keep a family car (or, better, refuse to use a car), stop buying ready-to-eat food, or move from a big city to a small one or the countryside.

Scientists from China and Singapore have carried out research dedicated to the problem of workaholism, in which they highlight the importance of society’s support to avoid this problem or escape it. If you already live with this problem, maintaining a dialogue with family and friends can help. Sometimes workaholics understand that they have crossed their limits and decide to spend more time with those close to them.

My son-in-law missed the birth of his youngest son because of work. Of course, he has a great salary, but the family had the opportunity to spend time with him only on vacation. One night he had a problem with breathing, caused by a pulmonary embolism. He spent a few weeks recovering and then decided to slow down. Today, he assures that that sudden evil was the best that could happen in his life.

People who have well-paid jobs often face burnout syndrome (or burnout syndrome), and suffer from cardiovascular disease due to stressful situations. Other “bonuses” for workaholics are obesity and bone structure problems.

I watched how many health problems hit my parents over the years. And when they retired, they weren’t very happy. I chose a job with a lower salary and I don’t regret it. My main goal is to work to live, not live to work. That’s why I always preferred a job with no fixed hours and paid more attention to the workload, instead of chasing a high salary.

Here, we will present the view of those who pay more attention to work. Of course, some would like to spend more time with their family. However, they all feel responsible for the financial well-being and health of those close to them.

It’s obvious that the main reason for work (even if it’s one you enjoy) is to make money. Every day, we consciously spend our time, strength, and health so that our family has money, bills paid, and children succeed in the future.

We provide good quality of life for our family. If you want your child to have all the skills necessary to succeed in sport or science, you have to secure the necessary financial support for him to attend training and study at a good school or university. Your family realizes how much you contribute to improving their lives. My mother always worked very hard, I didn’t see her most of the time, but I always respected her a lot for her effort.

Many working parents fully understand that the quality of time they spend with their children is worth more than the quantity. Children know that their parents will dedicate at least an hour a day to them, and they don’t feel the lack of attention.

My wife is a traumatologist. She spent an absurd amount of time at work, while I stayed home with the kids. But I wouldn’t say my relationship with them is better. When our children were younger, my wife did whatever was necessary before putting them to bed. This was her way of talking to them after a long day at work.

Some people are completely dedicated to their work. In general, they are single, not used to a home life and marry only under the pressure of society. They complain about being tired at work, but do nothing to change the situation.

Working hard is your choice. There is almost always the possibility of changing your schedule and working less, moving or changing your requirements in terms of quality of life. If you say you have no choice, you are lying to others and to yourself.

Many people who spend all day at work are convinced that their children will thank them for all the sacrifices. But that will only happen after 10 or 20 years, when they start working and start their own family. They may not even understand it now and feel that the phrase “I do it for you” is not a good excuse.

My father worked for the first 18 years of my life, from 6:30 am to 11:00 pm. He sacrificed himself so that my brothers and I could have a better life. I always worry about him and am happy to share my achievements. Of course I wanted to have him around when I was younger, but I appreciate everything he’s done for his kids.

We know that some people who spend all day at the office would like to change jobs. But they fear that their families will be disappointed by the inevitable drop in income.

People close to you have no right to be angry with you or angry. If they don’t like the fact that you work too much, they need to accept a life with less luxury.

Honestly, we do not have a conviction formed in relation to the opinions and arguments presented above. The ideal, everyone knows, would be to balance personal life and work, but this is not always possible. So which way to go? Every family has its reality. However, the important thing is to stop justifying yourself and, if it is not possible to change, accept things as they are. “I’m a person who spends a lot of time at work, but that’s okay. I’m happy” or “I don’t earn so much, but I chose to dedicate my life to living with my family. That’s my choice.”

And if you want to keep the balance between family and work, follow these tips from internet users:

If possible, arrange with your boss to work a day or two remotely. The home office is now a reality for most professions. But be aware that you will have to develop the discipline and skills to work alone; Turn off your cell phone and activate the answering machine at least one day on the weekend Dedicate one day a week to your family: create some family tradition. 🇧🇷 For example, buying a pizza and watching a movie together; Give yourself a gift: take a few days off, meet your child at school and spend time together; Keep in touch with your family during the day, even if remote. Send messages and congratulate them on important dates; Show that you are ready to dedicate yourself not only to money, but also to your partner, your hobbies, and your children. Play sports with them, read with them, watch a movie together.

What point of view do you agree with? Do you prefer to work hard for your family’s well-being, or do you think it’s better to cut back on your expenses to spend more time with them?