10 Signs You Always Want to Please Others (and Why You’re Quitting That Habit)

Wanting to make others happy and filling your social life with positivity is fine, but only up to a point. If you overdo it, you can end up developing a nasty and even destructive habit—that of trying to please people all the time. By the time you realize it, you may be putting your own needs aside, forgetting to take time for yourself, and letting stress take over just to make sure the people around you feel good.

for us, from awesome.club, the mental health of readers is of paramount importance. And in this post, we address a delicate topic to point out solutions capable of making you value yourself more.

You are always helping others, organizing other people’s things, or simply doing favors. And the reason behind it all is usually one: you can’t say “no” to the orders you receive. Maybe it’s out of fear of thinking that if you refuse, your interlocutor will be upset or thinking that you don’t care about them. Plus, there’s the possibility that saying “no” leaves you feeling guilty. To avoid the situation, you tend to accept everything, even if you give up the time that would be dedicated to yourself.

Solution: Discover the power of saying “no”. Yes, it may be difficult at first, but in the end, it will be worth it. Refusing to do something that is always taking up your free time doesn’t make you a selfish person. You’re just treating yourself with the love and respect you deserve.

The fear of being rejected is another very common trait among people who live trying to please others. The feeling is that if people don’t like you, loneliness will end up being your fate. However, this leads to a constant need to avoid the disapproval of others, even if it is necessary to change your own behavior for the benefit of others. Upon noticing that you act in such a way, some people may want to take advantage of you.

Solution: Be aware of the possibility that you are being manipulated: when some people know that you will do anything for them, they may see an opportunity in this. They can make requests in a complimentary way, using words like “but only you can do that”, exerting pressure to have their own wishes granted. As soon as you notice something of this nature happening, make time for yourself a top priority.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to avoid conflict and deal with delicate situations by playing an innocent prank. But those who always want to please others do not act correctly. People like this tend to see the negative emotions of the people around them as a sign that they themselves are being irritated. To change this situation, the one who wants to please takes the blame and begins to think of solutions that please others.

Solution: Understand that conflicts are inevitable and can even be beneficial. They allow people to express themselves and talk about things that bother them. Repressing your own sensations, as well as those of others, is not healthy. After all, everyone needs to relieve the pressure once in a while.

In the face of any situation that doesn’t go according to plan, your first reaction is to say “I’m sorry”. Regardless of what happens, you tend to always bear the blame and the consequences. This stems from a desire to be kind and polite, but in the end, the custom erodes your self-esteem from the moment it becomes frequent.

Solution: Pay attention to what you say, say and feel: try to analyze the reasons you apologize. Also, it’s good to observe who you behave like this in front of. In many situations, over-explaining and blaming are unnecessary. Allow yourself to let the situation go.

Because you’re too busy thinking about other people’s feelings, you may end up forgetting your own. Many people tend to put their own emotions aside and forget what they really want at that moment. In the last case, the person can even start to have difficulties to recognize themselves, reaching the point of not being able to talk about their feelings or choose what is best for them.

Solution: Listen to yourself more: take the time to reflect on your wants and desires. You can even write a list of your priorities, starting to dedicate yourself more to what makes you happy.

Daily sacrifices for the benefit of others can become the rule for those who always want to please. This is the case, for example, of those who are stuck in a toxic relationship giving much more than they receive. You may think the other person will notice and appreciate your efforts, but usually the other person gets used to the way you are. And when you realize it, there’s nothing left to help with your well-being.

Solution: Think about your priorities and define what is important to you, not to others. It’s a good idea to limit the time you’re completely available to others. For example, on Tuesday and Thursday nights. That way, you guarantee enough time for your own tasks and hobbies.

The person is affected by any change in mood or feelings shown by any relative or friend, becoming truly worried about the situation. Perhaps, during tense moments, you even blame yourself for not being able to calm someone down or make the other feel better. However, each individual has a responsibility to control their own emotions.

Solution: Invest in empathic affirmations. You may even understand how the other person feels, but take a firm stand. For example: “I understand where your anger is coming from, but all I can do now is stand by you.”

Those who want to live pleasing others are usually afraid to show their real personality. Instead, the person decides to just “go with the flow”, changing their attitudes to behave like everyone else. By doing so, she thinks that she will ingratiate herself with others and that she will create a more comfortable atmosphere around her.

Solution: Learn to be yourself when in the presence of other people. Although there are many similarities between them and you, always try to identify and respect the differences that may be present. You, as an individual with your own opinions and interests, are also good company for others. There are several aspects that make us unique, and no one should hide them.

People who are very concerned about pleasing others are always looking for praise. In most cases, this stems from low self-esteem. Approval from others makes a person feel wanted, valued, and loved. She gets the feeling that she is important to others, and she feels good about it.

Solution: The time has come to stop wanting to be validated by others. Try stopping to think about what you’re doing just to get compliments. Maybe posting too much on social media or always wanting to get in touch with relatives to tell them about your own achievements are signs of this. Once we gain awareness, we can gradually begin to change our behavior.

By always wanting to make others happy, you end up putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Their tendency is to hide negative feelings just so as not to disturb others, and they choose to deny being angry, sad or disappointed about something, preferring to hide under a mask of happiness. But this can lead to a situation where you are no longer able to understand your own emotions.

Solution: Learn to identify your feelings: repressing your emotions can generate stress in your body, leading to unhealthy consequences. Caring for yourself is just as important as caring for others. Be considerate of yourself and try to treat yourself with care and dedication.

Do you tend to prioritize the feelings of others over your own? How do you feel in situations like this? Leave your comment on the subject!