10 characteristics of jealous and possessive men (and what you can do)

It feels good when your boyfriend acts protective of you, right? It’s like you’re the most special girl in the world, that he wants to take care of for himself. And when he shows a little jealousy with another guy, does he talk to you? You secretly enjoy it…

However, there is a difference between the man who lovingly protects you and the one who is a psychopath. And the biggest problem is that the difference can be very subtle.

But don’t worry, in this article I will help you find out if your boyfriend really is possessive in an unhealthy way. Next, you will find information on what you can do with this type of situation.

10 Signs Your Boyfriend Thinks You Belong To Him

1) It violates your privacy

We all have the right to privacy and it is not unloving or selfish if we protect this right.

Perhaps he will ask you to read your text messages or start your sessions on your social media accounts.

He probably told you something like:

“Do not trust me?” “Do this to show me that you trust me” “Be transparent with me”

Just to make you feel guilty and do what he wants.

Refuse and be firm. He should trust you.

Wanting full access to your phone is not a way to show trust.

Quite the opposite. By making you share your private information with him, he has shown not only that he doesn’t trust you, but that he is not trustworthy in the first place. He is the one who needs to earn your trust.

And pay attention to how he reacts. Maybe he doesn’t respect your answer and starts arguing.

If you catch him snooping around your phone or logging into your email account, change your password.

Trust me, this is for your own safety.

There have been many people who shared their passwords with their boyfriends, because they wanted to show their “trust” and guess what? They ended up grieving, when they found their social media accounts hijacked and their reputations damaged, because their boyfriends had a jealous rage.

You don’t want to end up like these people, simply because you wanted to show that you “trust” your partner. This is not necessary, he must trust you, without interfering in your personal issues.

2) He texts you constantly when you are away

It is normal for your boy to worry about you when you are away.

“Are you OK?”

“I miss you.”

All in a sweet and loving tone. It’s nice when he wants to hear from you, once in a while.

And it’s certainly better than him not showing any concern at all!

I’m sure some of us would feel really sad, if every time we were out, our love never bothered to send a single kiss emoji.

But if he constantly “checks up” on you and gets angry, if you don’t respond right away, then you may want to take a step back and think better about the type of relationship you are having.

He does not have the right to know where you are all the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Asking who you’re with, over and over again, is a sign that he doesn’t trust you.

He will probably never be satisfied, even if you text him every hour.

Relationships are built on trust. But if he can’t even trust you when you’re out of his sight, then he’s probably not ready for a relationship.

3) You always run into him unexpectedly

You leave work and somehow he is there in the corner waiting for you.

You take a walk in the park to meet some old friends, and what a coincidence, your boyfriend is also walking his dog in the same place.

Do you have a new contact on Twitter and they are asking you questions about who you are?

Did you add a new friend on Facebook?

He is there reacting to your posts.

Sure, it could be a coincidence, but if this happens with some frequency, it could be that it is stalking you.

If you start to feel uncomfortable about it, trust your gut and deal with it.

You should never feel like you can’t have privacy with him.

Being a couple simply means that you are together.

It doesn’t mean that you can’t have a part of your life where you can be alone or with your friends without it.

4) He tries to control how you look

I don’t mean that I can make a comment, that it is not convenient for you to wear a bikini at a wedding. This is reasonable and probably wants to save you from embarrassment.

I mean he wants you to stop wearing makeup or he gets mad when you wear something sexy and he wants you to dress very formal.

“You look too provocative in that outfit,” even if it’s just a sundress.

“You look like a random girl with that lipstick”, even though you and everyone else know that you look very pretty in that shade.

When he says things like this, he wants to make sure no other guy notices you.

He can advise you on something, but you decide in the end and in no way can it be a demand from him.

5) He has problems with your friends

Your boyfriend doesn’t have to like all of your friends, in the same way that you don’t like some of his.

But if your boyfriend seems to have problems with every single one of your friends, or if he gets cranky or angry, if you go out with them instead of him, then you have a problem.

You shouldn’t have to choose between your friends and your boyfriend.

Even if he has problems with some, he should respect the fact that you, and not him, can choose who your friends are.

Of course there are some exceptions. For example, if your friends are addicted to drugs and are a bad influence on you.

But if they are people with some flaws, he shouldn’t meddle.

Be careful, if he always has something bad to say about your friends. This may be a sign that he is trying to isolate you from your social circle, so that you have no one to turn to but him and create an unhealthy dependency.

6) He gets incredibly paranoid or angry if he sees you talking to another guy

No matter who is. It could be your high school classmate, a coworker, the pizza delivery guy, or the old man downstairs.

You talk to another man and he asks why you were talking to him.

Or even worse, he might get angry or crazy.

Please keep in mind that you are not doing anything wrong.

If he does this, it’s about his own insecurities, things he alone has to deal with.

It’s natural to feel jealous of any potential romantic rival in a relationship, as long as it’s within a healthy parameter.

But having your man fly into a rage is not a healthy way to deal with jealousy.

This indicates that you are immature and not ready for a relationship.

Let’s be honest. You can’t live your life having to avoid talking to every man who isn’t your boyfriend, for fear he’ll get mad.

Jealousy is something that everyone should be able to handle, while you are in a relationship.

If he’s paranoid, because he saw his mom cheating on his dad or his ex flirting with his best friends, that’s not your problem. He has to go to therapy or he’s not going to be a good partner for you, or anyone else.

7) Wants you to give them all your time

We all want to spend some time with the people we love.

However, a possessive partner will take this to the extreme. He will want to be with you overnight and will get angry if you are too busy.

Let’s say you had a weekend dinner planned. But suddenly you hear that your friend decided to organize a beach outing that same weekend.

Maybe it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so you tell your boyfriend that you want to postpone your dinner for another time. A dinner can always be made. Then, to your dismay, he goes crazy!

He’ll probably have a few choice words to say about your friend, and if you still insist, he’ll probably invite himself.

If your boyfriend does something like this, make it clear to him that this is not the type of relationship you want.

If he does it a couple more times, you should reconsider the relationship. What they have is not good, it’s crazy.

8) He wants to intervene in your decisions

He wants to participate in every decision you make, to be able to give it the course he wants.

And sometimes it intimidates you that nothing you say can change his mind.

That trip to the beach in Florida?

Oh no no no, too many alligators.

Your business idea?

No, it’s too risky and you’ll live stressed!

Your partner must trust you to make important life decisions without him. Sure, their input can be helpful, but it’s not like you can’t do it independently.

Keep in mind that although there are things you should decide together, like buying a house or moving, he has no right to demand that you follow what he says, in all aspects of your life.

9) He doesn’t want “No” for an answer

One of the most important signs of a dysfunctional relationship is that your man cannot accept hearing NO.

How dare you tell him no?

You are his property and you do not answer!

It’s not normal the way he gets angry when you tell him no. It may even happen to you that you want to have a safe place to flee to.

It can also be as subtle as him repeatedly trying to change your mind and making it painful for you to continue going against his wishes.

This is much more difficult to avoid.

After you say no, you may be cold-hearted for days. Or you could go out for “some air” and come back the next day.

But you should know that this is classic manipulative behavior.

10) He gets very defensive

He immediately gets defensive whenever you try to talk to your man about the things that make you feel uncomfortable, which he is doing.

He will not apologize for it and would even offer excuses and justifications for his behavior.

He may even tell a sad story or two to make you feel bad for daring to talk to him about it.

He may point out your flaws, blame it on his depression or his horrible childhood.

He won’t think he’s wrong at all and might even convince you that this is how relationships work.

What to do if your boyfriend thinks he owns you?

Depending on how long you have been with your boyfriend, it is possible that he has managed to make you not value yourself and has sown doubts about yourself. This is one of the first things possessive boyfriends do to make you dependent on them.

Restoring confidence and self-respect is the first step you must take. Go to therapy, talk to people who can help you, like your family, and read self-help books.

The next step is to analyze whether it is worth fixing your relationship. Think about whether it is not doing you more harm than good.

Don’t be afraid to end your relationship, especially if you feel like you are in danger.

Also, ask yourself the following questions:

Can you be happy living with him treating you this way? Will it be good for your future children? What’s your limit?

Be clear that it is not your obligation to fix him, and it is not fair that you ruin your mental health, simply to make him happy.

Maybe they just aren’t compatible.

And maybe quitting will really help you grow!

In…