Words are not carried away by the wind

It is true that Our memory makes mistakes, but from there to saying that it does not exist there is a long way. A path that is not without importance and that is sometimes fertile ground for those who want to get rid of the commitments they have acquired with words.

Thanks to these opportunists The expression that “words are carried away in the wind” has become popular.This metaphor, basically, what it says is that what is stated and not written and signed has less weight than a deciduous and yellowish leaf, the kind that falls from the trees in autumn.

Will he fulfill his commitment?

As we said, We have a memory that slips, but a memory nonetheless. It is in this place where the personal commitments that we make and that others make with us are recorded.

When our sister agrees to pick up the children today, she does not sign any legal document. To corroborate it, he simply says that he will come. He gives us his word, which initials his identity. Thus, she herself adheres to her word. Something that in theory in human relationships should weigh more than a scribble in the form of a rubric.

Trust the given word

In the example we mentioned, We will trust that word based on the number of times it has been fulfilled in the past and we will especially take into account those that have entailed a similar cost for the person who has given us their word.

That is, if we know that our sister had no plans that afternoon nor are they likely to have any, we will try to find situations in which she has made a commitment that we have also thought had a low cost for her. Once located, we will use them to estimate whether you will comply or not comply.

On the contrary, if you live far away and we know that that afternoon you have an activity that you like and that could interfere with your schedule, We will go to the times when we remember that you have made a commitment with a high cost. In this way, we will also use them to estimate whether you will comply or not comply.

For this estimate also We will evaluate other factors, such as possible motivations for acquiring that commitment. She may love children and see the times she spends with her nephews as moments of enjoyment and delight. This will undoubtedly reduce the estimated cost if any. On the contrary, it will increase if he does not enjoy the company of his nephews and, on the contrary, seems to suffer from it.

Finally, say that Increasing cost does not necessarily increase the likelihood that someone will break their word.. There are certain people who, for different reasons, such as claiming to be generous, may respond to high-cost commitments and not make them in the face of those that have a low cost.

The words that hurt, the words that give strength

There are other types of words that the wind of our memory hardly carries away, those that we have been told by people we appreciate and who hurt us. We may understand that they said them in a moment of frustration and later we may have understood that they did not mean them, but it is not as easy to erase them from memory as the wind can carry the leaf that slowly falls from the tree.

The problem is that These words were recorded along with a deep emotional imprint and our memory does not usually forget what causes deep traces. There is an exception: that the event exceeds our capacity for emotional assimilation and covers the memory with dissociative amnesia.

However, even with this type of amnesia, The person may have feelings of rejection toward the person who hurt them., although I can’t explain why. Many theories affirm that the best learning is that in which emotions come into play. In this way, if the words raise a deep emotion of sadness or pain in us, they are more likely to remain recorded in our memory.

What we say

Finally, I would like to point out one last important fact, although this is a topic that could be used for an entire book. The words we receive leave their mark on us, but so do the words we say.. Just as we have talked about deep damage from the words we hear, the words we speak can also leave us with very intense feelings, such as guilt (negative) or pride (positive). So that No, words are not carried away by the wind. Some even not even a hurricane.

It is therefore so important to know what we are going to say and how we are going to do it. What for us may be an unimportant comment, the other person may receive as a crush. If we knew the real value of each word we utter, we would measure them one by one. As some great wise men affirm: “words have more power than swords”. A sword can cut, but a word can break a heart.

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