Why my ex got a girlfriend so fast: 6 things you should know

Scenario A: You broke up with your ex two months ago and you’re in the middle of getting your life back on track. Suddenly, one of your mutual friends mentions that he is seeing someone new.

Scenario B: You just went through a breakup a week ago. You are in the third season of Friends with your umpteenth ice cream. You take the cell phone and scroll through your Instagram account. And there’s your ex, who just posted a picture with a new date.

It may just be a slight twinge in the chest, or it may feel like the world is ending. Either way, he’s dating someone new and it hurts.

I know and that is why, next, I will tell you a few things to keep in mind.

6 important things to remember when your ex is dating someone new

1) There is a reason why your relationship ended

Now that your ex is with someone new, it might cross your mind if you should try to win him back.

You could start planning different ways to get his attention again.

Post selfies in an outfit that will steal her breath away, or also date someone new to make her jealous.

But before you do everything you can to get your ex back, ask yourself if you really want them back.

It’s perfectly normal to feel hurt after a breakup.

Even if you’re done with that person.

It’s also normal to feel hurt after finding out you’re with someone new.

But stop when you start to feel like you want to text him at 3 in the morning.

You think the relationship has ended for a reason.

To avoid the temptation to contact your ex, focus on why you decided to break up.

And, most importantly, see the relationship for what it really was.

It can be tempting to look back on your relationship with your rose-colored glasses.

If that’s what’s on your mind, maybe you’re pursuing a relationship you could have been in.

But don’t fool yourself with a fantasy.

Jnnice Vilhauer, PhD. she advises letting go of the fantasy. She says that after we break up, we tend to forget who the other person really was and instead dream of what could have been.

What did exist was the relationship with all the reasons to end it.

An effective way to get rid of this illusion is to stop seeing only the good things in your relationship.

Although it may seem harsh, you could even focus on the negative aspects.

Connecting to all the reasons why the relationship had to end can help break that delusion.

2) His new relationship has nothing to do with you

Your ex does not have a new improved partner. You must remember that their current relationship has nothing to do with you.

Your new relationship is a “them” thing.

If your ex is currently with someone new, chances are they are thinking about being with that person.

He’s not thinking of hurting you.

It can be easy to go into a dark place in your mind and conclude that you are the “older” model of that new partner your ex has now.

But you have to understand that newer doesn’t automatically mean better.

Think better that both you and him now have the opportunity to move forward with your relationship.

This is something you should take advantage of.

Another important thing to remember is that even if you also made mistakes in the relationship, he didn’t necessarily break up with you and find someone new because of your mistakes.

Everything is an experience in this life and the causes and consequences have a thousand variations.

You need to forgive yourself for the mistakes you made while you were together.

This is an experience they both learned from, even if their relationship didn’t last forever.

If you keep holding on to what you did wrong in the relationship, you will always think that there is something wrong with you.

Once you forgive yourself for the mistakes you made, you can focus on moving on. So you will find the true happiness you are looking for.

3) He does not know how to be alone

How many people does it happen to, that after being with a partner for a while, find it difficult to find themselves alone again?

They are afraid of loneliness. They rush to mate again the first chance or second that comes their way.

This is ultimately not a good decision, since the real reason for dating someone in this situation is not love.

It is the fear of being alone.

Sooner or later the relationship will probably end and he will be alone again, forcing himself to resolve that loneliness.

So don’t jump to conclusions too soon as to why your ex found love so quickly. Perhaps it is something temporary, that will leave you a lesson.

If you understand this and want to really be with someone to be a part of your life for a long time, then don’t make the same mistake.

Find that special person who will make you happy.

Also, take advantage of this time alone to do all that you had put aside for your relationship.

Maybe you lacked time and now is your chance.

4) He Didn’t “Win”

It’s not healthy to trigger a sense of negative competition between the two of you, where you’re both trying to outdo each other.

The notion that someone has to be the winner after the breakup does more harm than good.

What is really supposed to happen during a breakup is acceptance, learning, and moving on.

Just because they found someone else, doesn’t mean they’re automatically better off than you.

Feeling like you’re losing out on something will only make it harder for you to move on from the breakup.

Focus on these thoughts to avoid spiraling down.

This can lead you to a place where you lose the true sense of what is happening.

5) He was already in love with another girl

Many times it happens that a relationship ends, because another was already beginning.

A relationship does not end overnight. It takes a while to get to that denouement.

Being in a relationship with someone, especially if it has been for a long time, is something significant in our lives.

We’re not going to end her unless we’re as safe as possible.

In many cases, while we are deciding if we want to continue with a person or not, we meet another.

It’s not that we instantly leave the relationship we’re in and run off with a stranger.

It usually takes us a while to get to know and decide on this new person as well.

If he has decided on this new girl, it does not mean that you have something wrong.

It means that now he thinks he gets along better with that person.

You, on the other hand, can understand it like this and be free to start a new path.

In it you will find a new person with whom to start a new story.

After all, you are looking to be happy and you will not achieve it with someone who does not feel that way by your side.

6) He believes that this way he will forget you sooner

This thought is most inaccurate, since a break implies a duel that must be dealt with.

That is, if the person you were with was really significant to you.

Otherwise, you already know that you have not been that important to him.

So you should not waste your time with a person who does not consider you, as you deserve.

Keep in mind that the internal mood is not always in tune with external actions.

The fact that your ex has started a new relationship does not mean that he is prepared to live this new story either.

Many times, behind that rush, is the belief that you will get over your old relationship sooner thanks to that new fantasy.

This is known as a “revenge relationship”, which is only born from the impulse of wanting to cover gaps in the soul and affective deficiencies.

What should I do so that it doesn’t affect me that my old partner has a girlfriend so quickly?

Here I leave you 3 keys that will help you move forward with your life and prepare yourself for all the wonderful things that await you:

First you must do your duel. Allow yourself to feel the pain, to feel hurt. But be careful not to sink into grief. Learn from all this experience, to emerge stronger from it and thus move forward. Then you must cut everything related to this person. This includes talking to him, checking his social media, or keeping in touch with his friends and family. In this way it will be easier for you to overcome it. Then take care of yourself. Take advantage of this moment to do everything you always put off or have put aside for others.

Think that the fact that you are alone will not last forever.

You will find another person and you will have to adjust, perhaps, some things in your life.

Therefore, be free to do everything you want and enjoy it to the fullest. This is the best time to be with yourself.

Have you evaluated everything and still want to get it back?

I know that watching someone you love walk away can be very hard, especially if he has moved on and you see him with someone else.

But if you really want him back, you’ll have to act smart.

When you live a break everything seems to collapse. And your efforts may drive him further away.

Relationship coach Samantha Sanderson has created a method through which she helps women get their ex-partners back.

In it he combines his years of experience in the field of love and develops intelligent techniques to activate the unconscious instincts of man and that HE wants to return to you.

There is a fantastic video presentation on the internet that shows you exactly what you need to do to re-attract your man, make him PASSIONATE again…and make him want to give the relationship another try.

I leave the LINK here if you want to know more.