Why more and more happy couples prefer to sleep separately

According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds. And while most people believe that couples who make that choice end up putting an end to the relationship, some studies show that the truth is just the opposite.

We, from awesome.clubwe believe there is no right or wrong when it comes to sleeping habits, as for many, sleeping in separate beds is the best thing in the world, while for others, sharing a bed with a loved one is essential.

According to research, sleeping next to a restless sleeper can make us sleepless for 49 minutes each night. And when one of the two can’t sleep well because of the other, the result tends to be a big argument the next day.

In fact, the study also confirmed that couples with troubled sleep habits fight more often compared to those who sleep well. Those who have a good nights sleep, on the other hand, generally have a better mood, lower stress levels and more patience.

Snoring, fidgeting, and stealing the blanket or bed space are just a few of the many reasons why some couples prefer to sleep in beds or even separate rooms. Tossing and turning in bed listening to the other person snore next to us while trying to sleep often results in increased anger, tension, and resentment toward our partner.

According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart: How to Get a Good Night’s Sleep and Keep Your Relationship Alive. free translation), sleeping in separate rooms can even help make the relationship work, as both parties are not suffering from a lack of proper rest.

Social worker Tina Cooper, for example, sleeps in a different room than her partner, due to their conflicting habits. “I am an owl, while he is an early riser. I need soft sounds to fall asleep, he likes silence. He likes the firm mattress, while I prefer soft ones and lots of pillows. And since I don’t like the light in the morning, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom, which is less lit, and he got the second bedroom, which gets the morning light that he likes so much”.

The way you spend the night with your partner can also affect your performance during the day, marital satisfaction and physical and mental well-being. And when two individuals with different night habits and preferences start living together as a couple, changing their own practices, just to please the other, tends to harm the relationship in the long run.

When you each have your own room, it means that you both will have your space to relax peacefully after a tiring day. That way, both of you can have your needs met, without anyone needing to tiptoe around the room, or worry about your partner waking up when you’re watching the latest episode of your favorite show before bed.

During the night, our brain goes through the different stages of sleep several times: light, deep and REM (rapid eye movement) sleep. But when we interrupt the cycle by waking up in the middle of the night, it means that the brain will spend more time in the light sleep stage, missing the REM phase. And without spending enough time on this step, we end up harming our emotional well-being as well as cognitive ability.

When interrupted, sleep still tends to have short- and long-term health consequences, generating conditions such as hypertension, problems related to weight and mental health, reduced quality of life and other adversities related to well-being.

“Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn in bed. It releases high levels of heat while sleeping, and I can’t stand the heat. I like to read in bed, he can’t stand the light. We keep the schedules different to some extent. A million reasons why we think it’s much better that way.” — crankyweasels“My partner and I each have our own bedroom. Occasionally, one sleeps in the other. However, we both slept absolutely better when apart. He’s an owl and I’m an early riser. He prefers to cover himself with just a sheet, whereas I like four kilos of blankets over me. Also, having separate bedrooms allows me to decorate mine however I want, have my own personal space, and be able to maintain cleanliness. People look down on me when I talk about having separate bedrooms, but that changes everything.” — eriasana“Uneven sleep cycles due to different work routines. We’re still crazy about each other and we’re okay with it because it’s what’s best for our relationship.” —AFishInATank“In the beginning of our relationship, 90% of fights took place in bed. I like to sleep with the room cold, fan on and a white noise machine. Also, I like to fall asleep with the TV on. She prefers to sleep in a warm, quiet cave, in complete darkness and silence. We started sleeping in separate rooms, and suddenly our fights dropped by 90%. And since we’re actually sleeping, the other fights have turned into mere heated arguments.” — ttc8420

Do you and your partner also have agreements regarding sleep habits? Do you believe that sleeping in separate beds helps in the health of the relationship? Leave a comment with your impressions!