Why is unconditional love so important for our children?

When we are asked who is the person who has made us feel most loved, the most common answers are usually parents or in some cases grandparents. Because? What is so special about the love they give us and that makes us feel so loved?

The key is found in unconditionality. In that sincere and unconditional way of loving, which does not understand perfection, expectations or errors, but rather acceptance. Hence the importance of unconditional love for our children. Let’s dig deeper.

Love without conditions

Unconditional love is the purest and most sincere expression of love. It is generally reserved for children. It is innate, you don’t have to do anything for it to happen. Simply when a child is born, his parents fall in love with him, regardless of what he is like.

Probably no other person will love us this way: without conditions. Regardless of how we are, our mistakes or defects. Without having to do anything to be loved, simply be ourselves.

Unconditional love has great value during the first years of parenting. It is the basis for the development of a secure attachment bond and its subsequent emotional structure.

OR A child who feels safe and cared for will want to explore the world and interact with others without fear, because they know that there is a safe place to go, where they are cared for and loved. In addition, you will become an adult with good self-esteem and will be more likely to establish satisfying relationships with others.

As we see, This type of love confers stability, a feeling of protection and security, necessary ingredients to feel good both with ourselves and with others.

Signs of unconditional love for our children

Sometimes, we are sure that we love our children unconditionally, but… do they know it? Are we able to transmit it adequately? The reality is that sometimes they may perceive it differently. Therefore, it is important to make sure how they feel.

Furthermore, so that our loved ones feel unconditionally loved by us, The following recommendations can help us:

Tell the children how much you love them, not only when they do things well.Don’t compare them with siblings, friends or cousins. It is important to let our children know that we accept and love them as they are, with their virtues and aspects for improvement, but that these aspects do not influence our love for them.Dedicate time to them. Spending quality time with our children is very important. Sometimes, work schedules do not allow us to spend as much time as we would like and we think “am I spending the time I have with them well?” Simply by asking them about their feelings, taking their thoughts seriously and trying to put ourselves in their shoes, we will be fostering the attachment bond. Another wonderful way to spend time with them is to find a common hobby: a sport, movies, painting… something that we are really passionate about, and that we enjoy doing together.Communication. When we scold our children, many times we do not explain why, we tell them “don’t get up there”, “don’t touch that”, “don’t do that other thing”… It is important to explain the reason why they are being scolded, in addition to be firm with our orders, without devaluing them if they make mistakes and encouraging them to improve.Clearly distinguish the person’s behavior. The child may behave badly, but he is not bad. He may have fears, but that does not mean that he is afraid… Very important: be careful with labels.Do not confuse love with overprotection. Loving a child does not mean approving everything they do, nor having the need to spare them trouble. It is always better to help her find solutions and let her act, staying by her side, but as support if she needs it.

Finally, we must not forget that unconditional love is closely linked to care. No matter how affectionate and communicative we are with our children, if we do not cover their basic needs for care, food, hygiene, and studies, among others, that unconditional love will not exist.

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