Why don’t you answer my message? The anxiety of the 21st century

Why don’t you answer my message? Why are you leaving me seen? If you are online, why don’t you respond to what I have written to you? This and other questions assail us while the mobile screen remains undisturbed, without vibrating, without showing the icon of the WhatsApp warning of a notification… Desperation increases and the lack of response devours us, takes away our calm until it becomes our only concern.

If this situation is known to us, we will be suffering from what is known as anxiety. double check blue. And no, it is not a trivial issue. The amount of time we spend waiting for that virtual feedback is immense; Not to mention, the mental and emotional impact.

Hyperconnection, the need for immediacy and instant reinforcement has changed our way of relating for some time now. It is as if for many people there was an unsigned pact, the one by which one is obliged to respond immediately to every message, every photo or comment where they tag us. If we are not quick to issue some type of interaction, doubt and concern arise in the virtual sender..

Misunderstandings, arguments, stress, insomnia, poor performance at study or work… The relationship between instant messaging services and anxiety disorders is as significant as it is recurrent.

We know that almost 80% of our young people suffer from it and that, currently, is one of the most common problems in our daily interactions with others.

Let’s delve into the topic.

Why don’t you answer my message? The psychology behind texting

Why don’t you answer my message? It’s been several minutes, maybe hours and we still haven’t received any kind of response.. Neither an emoticon nor a smiley face nor the emoji a thumbs up, so helpful for almost everything. For people with an already impatient nature, these types of situations can be desperate.

Furthermore, they are especially so if the recipient is someone significant. For example, that person we are starting to get to know, who we are attracted to and with whom we hope to establish a daily interaction.

Emotional relationships are cemented by text messages and notifications loaded with double meanings.good morning and good night messages, photos and a whole subtle universe of virtual languages.

The same is also true with our friendships. In some way, we hope that they are quick in their responses and that they do not leave us in the limbo of waiting. After all, as multiple studies already reveal to us, People look at their cell phones – on average – about once every fifteen minutes. and we expect an almost constant flow of interaction, of notifications to review and messages to send or respond to.

If that flow is interrupted, if someone important to us does not answer, does not read us or lets the hours pass without showing interest, an alarm switch goes off in us.

Text messages and dopamine

At the beginning we compared the need to receive a response to a message with the anxiety that an addict can experience.. This relationship is not coincidental and the key is in our brain reward systems, orchestrated by a very specific neurotransmitter: dopamine.

When we send a very loving message, an audio or a fun and original meme, if there is something we love, it is that the other person responds. That interaction where we exchange phrases, laughter and complicity makes us feel very good. It’s like a “high”, one of many that we experience throughout the day with immediate messaging and likes.

Thus, that feeling of pleasant pleasure, emotion and well-being is mediated by dopamine. Hence, when this flow of interaction fails and we ask ourselves with anguish Why don’t you answer my message?what we experience is longing and it is anxiety. We are not receiving our “dose” of dopamine and withdrawal syndrome emerges, almost without realizing it.

But why don’t you answer my message?

The anxiety of blue double check It is increasingly common among the younger population. Studies, such as the one carried out at Kent State University in the United Kingdom by Dr. Andrew Leph, tell us that One of the most common causes of anxiety among university students comes precisely from the use of mobile phones..

Not only is there greater dependence and addiction to these devices. Furthermore, lThe quality of relationships is poorer, academic performance is reduced and even one’s own health is affected.. What’s more, it has been seen that it is the younger population that suffers the most from this need to receive an immediate response to messages.

However…what are the reasons why someone chooses not to respond or to lengthen that response longer than normal?

Reasons why they do not respond to us

The first reason, and perhaps the most obvious, is disinterest. Currently one of our most common communication channels is immediate messaging. Whoever does not respond to us or does not interact with us is simply because he does not want to. Another reason could be, obviously, that he is busy. Even more, there are many people who postpone that response until that moment when they feel freer and more comfortable to respond. There are those who, instead of immediacy, value quality.Likewise, there is another factor that experts highlight because it occurs more and more frequently. We are talking about those who experience anxiety when sending a message, the reason? Unsafety. There is fear of not expressing things adequately, there is fear of what they may respond to us, of being misunderstood, of seeing double. blue check and regret having written certain words, having included certain emoticons…

All of this causes them to delay their response for hours (or days).

To conclude, relationships in the Internet age are more complex. We can make more connections, meet more people and even have the opportunity to discover in detail what someone is like thanks to a continuous flow of messages back and forth. That this happens makes us feel good, but if this is interrupted or fails, stress and doubts appear.

The key is balance. Asking me why that special person doesn’t answer my message is normal, obsessing over it to the point of not doing anything else is no longer normal..

Let’s live our lives, let’s continue with our things, with our occupations and responsibilities while we wait for the notification. Because if that person really cares about us, they will respond.

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