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Why does everyone ask when are you going to get married and have kids?

For some time now, the phrase “the biological clock doesn’t stop” has gained an air of irony, inspiring the emergence of memes and jokes such as: “Does this clock stop after giving birth to a child?” The truth is that the issue involving marriage and children continues to be important to many people. Incidentally, psychologists claim that social charges involving these issues negatively affect not only childless women, but also men.

Honestly speaking, we awesome.club, we do not understand why there is so much exaggeration involving the time to get married or have children. Therefore, we put our imagination to work in an attempt to explain what makes someone want to get involved in the intimate lives of others.

1. Concern

This type of question can hide a banal but very sincere feeling. It is typical of grandparents, parents and close relatives. In more serious cases, family members try to embody Cupid, wanting to present possible suitors, children of their friends or acquaintances. There are even those who create, on the sly, of course, profiles on dating sites or dating apps as if they were the “stranded” relative, getting in touch with other people on their behalf. When someone is faced with such a situation, they need to be prepared to see their friends (or, even worse, their parents) dedicated to the task of finding possible husbands or wives.

Think back to your childhood: your parents certainly were very protective of you, spent as much time as possible with you and were interested in even the smallest details of your life. This is a clear picture of excessive concern and overprotection. It is a phenomenon also called “blind love”: parents love their child too much (even if he is older, much older than 18), but they express this love in a somewhat painful way. It must be remembered that, in ancient generations, the concept of happiness was created under the influence of patriarchal norms.

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It depends on how close the relatives are. If the relationship between you is strong enough, feel free to clearly explain your stance on the matter. Don’t forget to point out that you are already happy and independent. Therefore, no one needs to worry about you in this regard. If you have a tense family relationship, express your opinion briefly, without going into detail. Thus, he will be able to stop the actions of Cupid candidates.

2. Idle curiosity

Comments of this type are often made, for example, by taxi drivers, people who are traveling next to you on a bus or plane, friends of friends whom we meet only sporadically, or by former schoolmates who appear in our lives once in a while. life and another in death. Obviously, none of these people are really interested in your life, but on the other hand, they are incapable of being with us without saying anything. And at alumni get-togethers, many people feel compelled to bring up these kinds of topics in order to appear polite.

The situation can be uncomfortable, but the truth is that no one is obliged to maintain a conversation in which they have no interest. That’s exactly what we can say to these people, who exaggerate in sympathy. Or we can just laugh it off.

The same rule may apply to alumni meetings and other events we feel obligated to attend. Do you want to meet old classmates or your first teacher? That’s fine, but stressing yourself out over a meaningless conversation isn’t worth it.

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3. Boredom

People deal with boredom in a variety of ways. Some find new hobbies, others decide to work day and night. Only, unfortunately, there are those who decide to fill the empty space of their own lives with the lives of others: reading gossip about celebrities or dedicating themselves, for example, to analyzing every detail of the lives of friends and acquaintances. From there, inconvenient questions arise about the biological clock and the like.

If the situation is repeated several times, it is certainly time for you to set limits. You might, for example, say that single people can have just as full and satisfying lives as married people. Or even more! Something that has even been confirmed by science. This type of conversation may embarrass your interlocutor or even yourself, but from that moment on, you are more likely to get rid of people with such a lack of sensitivity.

4. Desire to hold a conversation

The older we get, the tendency is for us to have married people and families with children around us. This does not mean that the friendship between you has disappeared, but the trend is that there are fewer and fewer subjects in common. Hence arises the desire to keep the friendship, finding new topics to talk about, or just sharing good times with loved ones. By that logic, your male or female friend may not even realize that the issue of marriage and having children can be uncomfortable for you, for one reason or another.

5. Stereotypes

Anyone can have opinions affected by them: parents, friends, co-workers and strangers during occasional trips, for example. People like that seem to have planned their lives (and those of others) for the next few decades, studying every detail as closely as possible. Many of these people are convinced that women need to marry and have children.

These are people who are convinced that there is only one path in life, which everyone should follow. You need to go to college, get married before 30, have at least two children, travel on vacation, buy a house… the list can be endless. And when they see someone going about their lives in a different way, they are surprised and start asking inappropriate questions, trying to convince the other that he is making a big mistake.

Perhaps this is the worst of all the cases described. There is no universal formula for communicating with people like this. It is necessary to take into account each situation and the peculiarities of the interlocutor. With some, the best thing is to make jokes, while with others, the only alternative is to end the conversation. The important thing is to make it clear that your choices only concern you.

What do you think of people who think they have the right to demand something related to their private life? Have you ever had to answer awkward questions about marriage and children? How did you get out of the situation? Comment!

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