Why do you fall in love with a narcissist?

Many people are clear that a relationship with a narcissist is a true nightmare. However, strange as it may seem, Narcissists are usually successful at winning over someone and maintaining that relationship for a long time.. Why is this happening?

A narcissist does not know how to love and that is what makes the relationship very painful for his partner. What defines them is the lack of empathy and of true interest in the other. It is not uncommon for them to exploit someone they “love” or to engage in successive abuse with that person. Even so, there are many who stay next to people like this, without knowing exactly why.

These people are also terrible companions during bad times. They want to be perfect and for those around them to be perfect as well; that’s why abandon, physically or emotionally to your partner when he or she is going through problems or moments of vulnerability. The question then is: why do you fall in love with a narcissist?

This is what a narcissist in love looks like

Although narcissists never really love anyone (not even themselves), sometimes they experience crushes that, in any case, are always fleeting. In fact, They tend to experience these feelings with great intensity. which, however, never turn into genuine lovethat is, in a love that seeks the good of the other.

The way a narcissistic person falls in love generally has the following characteristics:

Great intensity. For narcissists, everything that has to do with them must be great. Therefore, if they fall in love, they do so with great intensity and with a lot of romanticism. They tend to be hyperbolic in their expressions of affection.Public displays of affection. For these people it is important to make everyone witness their apparent love and relationship. That’s why they tend to make details or special moments as a couple public.Flattery as the protagonist. The usual thing is that at the beginning of the relationship they praise each other. Then they frequently begin to demand that they be flattered or that recognition of their merits be made public.The couple is a trophy. Falling in love for narcissists is an opportunity to expand their ego. That is why they will look for someone as a partner whom they can show off or who they can boast about in front of others. If it fails, they will pretend that partner is a stranger.Jealousy. Narcissists are jealous because they are also very insecure. So your relationships will be very marked by possessiveness. They want to be “everything” for each other.They behave like saviors. It is very common for them to show themselves as someone who has the ability to save or decisively support their partner. In principle, they will offer very solid support, which will later cost a lot.They seem perfect. It is very common for this type of person to be very careful about making mistakes or having dissonant behavior with the person they are “in love” with. Therefore, it seems as if they are perfect.

Falling in love with a narcissist

The traits described show the double condition of narcissists. On the one hand, They are charming and become very moving with their “shows of love” and its superlative promises.

They will flatter your ego as much as they can, because for them that is what love is: exaltation of the self. For someone who is insecure or low on self-confidence, this could all be fascinating. At the beginning, of course.

Over time, the other side of narcissism appears. It starts with not so noticeable gestures. In general, Those who have a narcissist as a partner begin to feel that this person is constantly evaluating them and that it has to “pass the test” many times. A desire arises to receive approval from the partner.

A narcissistic partner does not generate peace, but anguish. Also, and with increasing intensity, it causes the feeling of being very alone.

It is not felt that this person can be counted on and expressions of criticism or disqualification are increasingly frequent. Sometimes this gives way to violence. Why then are so many people still “in love” with a couple like that?

The answer is that the narcissist and those who depend on him are more similar than one might suppose.. Both are deeply insecure, but while one compensates for this with excessive arrogance, the other does so. searching someone else to take care of him. In reality, there is no love there, but a neurotic symbiosis of which no one of both can turn out well.