Why do we have friends who never write?

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Do you have someone you know who, although they respond to your messages, rarely take the initiative to write to you, even if it’s just a “how are you, how’s everything going”? If so, we will explain why this is the case.

There are people who only respond to your messages, but who rarely take the initiative when writing to you – that is, they are reactive, but almost never proactive. Your mobile will never show a notification alerting you of a WhatsApp message from you that in some way you have not caused. Forget about them showing interest in you in communication content that has no other purpose, such as sharing information, showing gratitude or making a request.

What is the reason for this type of communicative dynamics? If we ask ourselves this question it is because right now A good part of everyday interactions take place in the digital universe. And what happens here impacts us, worries us and raises numerous relational doubts in us. Above all, for those who make this channel their main instrument of connection.

Likewise, in those situations in which we are far from that friend, that family member or even our partner, we are concerned to see how the messages stop arriving. When the flow of spontaneity is lost, when the other person stops sharing with us their thoughts, daily photos and worries, alarms ring in the nuclear power plant of our mind…

The quality of a relationship between two people can also be measured by the interaction between their messages. When these stop flowing as much as before or stop being produced, there is always an explanation behind it.

We have become accustomed to messaging conversations and when they are not so fluid, we think that something bad is happening in that link.

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People who only respond to your messages, why is that?

Text messages are fast. Not only do they allow us to communicate with each other. They are also a channel to express ideas, feelings, fears, joys… We send messages to share specific vital moments, fleeting fragments of time with special people.. “I had a good day at work today.” «You have to see such a movie, I loved it»…

It’s true that we could dial that person’s number and talk to them. However, Sometimes, we prefer to leave that fleeting message, that thought on the fly, those lines informing about something that does not have much relevance.. We have become accustomed to this type of communicative dynamic and we barely know how to live without them.

Thus, data, such as those provided by the Pew Research Center (an organization that provides information on problems, attitudes and trends about the world), indicates that Text messaging is the most used form of communication by adults under 50 years of age. Sometimes, we even become dependent on this form of communication.

We do it to the point of needing immediate responses from our interlocutors. We do not tolerate waiting and we are extremely concerned that someone stops writing to us. Now, there is a less frequent fact, but still striking… What happens to the people who respond to your messages, but who don’t write to you on a daily basis? We analyze it.

One of the reasons why someone does not take the initiative to write to us is due to a lack of interest in us. They respond because they do not dare to leave the relationship immediately, but they will do so little by little.

Semi-ghosting or when they leave us little by little

There are relationships that, almost without knowing why, become increasingly superficial. They are people who, when we offer them to meet and see us, do not refuse. However, this meeting is rushed and forced. They are those same figures that when we ask them what is happening in their lives and how they are going, they do not hesitate to answer us. However, they do it in a concise way, without going into depth.

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There are friendships and even relationships in which affection no longer exists, but neither does sincerity. The sincerity to say assertively that they no longer wish to maintain that bond with us.

Instead of expressing it, they let time pass by resorting to increasingly colder dynamics so that we are the ones who become aware of this reality.

Narcissism: I answer you when you ask me about my life (yours doesn’t matter)

Who most and who least has been seen in that relational situation. The one in which a figure with a clearly narcissistic personality is present. What happens in these cases is that This person only shows interest in interacting with us when we ask them about their lives.

A message like “how are you doing?” is enough. so that, instantly, they can tell us in detail how their emotional, work and existential life is going. They do not hesitate to boast and shine a lot. However, They will rarely have the initiative (or the interest) to send us a message and ask how we are doing.

There are people with whom we have a good relationship without having to send messages.

People who only respond to your messages, but who do call you

Not everything has to be negative. Because beyond digital life is the real world, and that is where the quality of a relationship between two people is appreciated. It is very possible that we have a friend who does not like being so attentive to the cell phone. They are people who value more a face-to-face conversation, a dinner, a coffee together, a walk, a party and a weekend trip.