Why do I feel like people reject me?

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We all want to be accepted to some extent. But when we often feel rejected, it is likely that there is a wound to heal.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

It is impossible for everyone to like you. Most people are aware that there are individuals who appreciate them and others, on the contrary, with whom there is no affinity. And this does not represent a major problem for them, because they understand that it is something natural. However, When I feel that people reject me, I can experience enormous suffering. Therefore, it is important to understand the origin of this feeling in order to heal it.

And, in reality, When I perceive general rejection from those around me, the difficulty is most likely within me. Not in my essence, but in my attitude. It’s not that there is something inherently bad or unpleasant about me. It’s more about the way I interpret what happens and how I react to it. Let’s explore the topic in depth.

Why do I feel like people reject me?

Wound of rejection

Lise Bourbeau defined five emotional wounds that are generated during childhood and that affect the way we perceive ourselves and the world. One of them, the deepest, is the wound of rejection. This It originates when the parents despise the child, refuse to be in his company, or are critical and resistant toward a part of his personality.. Or, at least, when the child perceives it that way.

Those who, during their childhood, experienced rejection will suffer the consequences even in adulthood. For this reason, he will be especially susceptible to any situation that reminds him of the one that caused his injury. Your threshold for feeling rejected is lower than normal and you tend to focus excessively on any critical reaction from others.

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Those who believe that they are not valid, that others despise them or do not accept them usually start behaviors that give shape to their fears.. Well, many times, it is not so much about the situations we experience but the meaning that we give them.

Inappropriate attitude

On the other hand, you may actually experience rejection in your everyday life. All internal experiences are based, in part, on an objective reality. However, you must keep in mind that Others do not reject your person, but your attitudes.

For example, You may be excessively demanding or have low expectations of them.. People cannot always please us, they will not always act as we wish. If we appear dominant, controlling or manipulative, others will not enjoy our company.

In the same way, you may need to work on your social and communication skills. In the case of those who suffer from social phobia, the very fear of rejection leads them to behave in a way that ends up making their worst fears come true. Because of their anxiety, they appear withdrawn, uncomfortable, and unnatural when interacting with others; and, therefore, the responses they receive from others are not always the most satisfactory.

It is you who is rejected

The law of the mirror is an extremely useful strategy to understand and resolve what happens to us in numerous situations. In this case, if I feel like people are rejecting me, the first person to do so is probably myself. If I do not feel valuable, I will appear insecure and in need of external acceptance, Any sign of contempt will affect me deeply.

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On the contrary, when I approve of myself unconditionally, I don’t feel the need to please others. I accept that I can’t please everyone and I focus on developing bonds with those with whom I feel an affinity. This inner security is reflected and makes me appear more attractive and charismatic in the eyes of others. So, in turn, I will receive more positive reactions from the outside.

If I feel that people reject me, I start by accepting myself

In short, if you see yourself reflected in the above, if you frequently feel rejected, you must understand that the key is in you. Start by healing your emotional wound so that it stops repeating itself, so that you stop finding it reflected in your present..

Start by accepting yourself unconditionally, find in yourself the approval that you seek and need from others. As you do this work, your attitude will change significantly, and so will your relationships. When you change, everything changes.