Why do I cry when I get angry?

This experience is familiar to many of us. Suddenly, anger, frustration and disgust attack us intensely and almost without knowing how, tears appear, falling like stones down our face. And that this happens is disconcerting. Because, in some way, it takes away our authority by leaving us in a vulnerable situation.

We feel almost like the two-year-old child who, angry with the world, expresses his demands through inconsolable screams and cries. Given this, we can only admit the obvious: the universe of human emotions is as complex as it is contradictory. However, understanding why we react in a certain way to certain triggers allows us to have greater control over ourselves.

To begin with, people It is easier for us to express anger than sadness. There are many who seem to always be angry with the world, but in reality what is inside them is grief, disappointment and sadness. These poorly managed feelings often end up emerging in the form of tears.

These are the reasons why you cry when you get angry

Dr. Robert R. Provine of the University of Maryland points out in a paper that our tear ducts are actually not that intelligent. That is, the brain does not have a mechanism by which it automatically activates crying when we feel sad. Tears are basically an emotional relief mechanism, and it is common for them to emerge when certain states overwhelm us.

In fact, there are those who cry when they feel very happy and also when fear or anxiety overcomes them. If you cry when you get angry, it is because you are experiencing a normal reaction to an intense emotional state.. This is something that needs to be understood and clarified. Because letting tears fall in response to one or more feelings is not a trait of weakness.

Your brain wants you to feel better: cry to vent

Anger, rage or anger are the most intense states on a psychophysical level that we can experience. Our muscles tense, our stomach twists, our heart races, our mind becomes cloudy… Feeling like crying when we are angry is a way for the brain to relieve internal overload.

As we have pointed out, it is a common reaction in human beings. But in our sociocultural register, crying and tears are associated with weakness and vulnerability, which is why we always seek to repress them, contain them… And this intensifies the discomfort even more.

After anger, sadness usually coexists

Behind many feelings of anger sadness usually hides. And we see this very often in close people. There are co-workers, friends and family with whom we argue frequently. They always seem frustrated, anything is a reason for disagreements and at the slightest they feel offended.

If we could see inside them, we would discover, for example, that they feel lonely. Also, they have been carrying disappointments, unhappiness and discouragement for some time. This can cause tears to appear in the middle of an argument.

When we do not develop adequate emotional self-awareness, it is very difficult to understand what we feel. This can lead us to cry when anger appears.

Experiencing too many intense emotions

Human beings are capable of experiencing multiple emotions at the same time. It may even be the case that we feel a specific one and its opposite (joy and sadness), thus giving shape to the classic emotional ambivalence. Now, those times when we end up crying during anger can be the response to a whole amalgamation of emotions that we have neglected over time.

Who more and who less has dealt with times of this nature. Those in which Stress, anxiety, disappointments, fears and even the feeling of injustice accumulate. Very little is enough for us to end up arguing with anyone and in the face of all that mixture of latent emotions, tears are an almost necessary relief mechanism.

Crying is healthy and necessary when emotions overwhelm us.

What can we do when we get angry and tears appear?

The last thing we should do is repress tears, suffocate that natural and necessary mechanism. We must vent what we feel, and crying will always be that first step to find a certain internal calm, a certain psychophysical relief to later handle what happens to us with greater clarity.

It is evident that in these situations crying is not the problem. The problem is anger, rage and that often unregulated state that places us in an unpleasant state. How did we get there? To understand it, it is advisable to reflect on the following:

What emotions are taking control of your life lately? If it’s anger and frustration, try to understand why. If it is sadness, find out the reason. Once you have become aware of those emotions and their origin, generate changes. What can you do to feel better? What should you change?

Don’t hesitate to share with someone what you feel and worry you. Often, putting your feelings out loud frees you, cleanses you, and allows you to take on new perspectives. Emotional management is an exercise in psychological well-being that we must all promote.

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