When your partner is bothered by everything you do: the 10 reasons and what to do

You have been with your partner for a while and those wonderful moments that you experienced at the beginning of the relationship are long gone.

Surely you feel sad and confused, because you don’t understand why now your partner is bothered by everything you do.

In order to help you with this fairly common problem, let’s start by looking into the reasons why your partner gets irritated by everything you do.

Also, we will see what you can do to reverse this situation and be happy again.

10 reasons why your partner is irritated by everything you do

1) Bad communication

For a relationship to work, one of its fundamental bases has to be regular communication.

In addition, the messages transmitted must be effective for both parties. Otherwise, it could bring them a lot of trouble. These inconveniences do not have to do with the couple, but with the fact that the message has not arrived in the correct way.

Additionally, people who get angry about everything may just have bad communication and that’s why they get irritated.

They don’t know how to express what they think and feel and this frustrates them causing their anger. They feel that nobody understands them and the quickest way out is to get angry.

Fortunately this problem can be solved by working together.

Sit down to talk to him and try to understand him, even if he can’t express himself well.

Ask him questions to better understand what he means lovingly. Show interest in what he wants to convey to you and make him feel accompanied.

Communicating correctly is a process that will take time. Enjoy it! Along the way you will get to know each other better and you might even discover things about yourself that you did not know.

2) Different values

It is a reality that each person is different. But in couples it is essential to share certain values, to be able to walk the path of life together.

Some are not even negotiable and can end up breaking the couple, if they do not reach an agreement.

Not getting along with values ​​that are important to both of you can make your partner constantly upset. This is because, by not finding a solution, he resents it.

The issue is that, if it is difficult for you to understand that the person next to you can have a different vision of things, you can constantly get irritated.

To find a solution, what you can do on your part is to expose all these differences one day with him.

Talk about why your values ​​are so important and see if the other party is willing to make concessions or better yet, maybe they can change their mind if they find your argument valid.

Maybe there was something they hadn’t seen and a different point of view changed their view of things.

Again, communication in the couple is essential, to have a greater possibility of reconciliation.

3) He has different ways of dealing with situations and problems

Perhaps you and your partner have different ways of solving certain issues.

For example, one may be more calm or intellectual in resolving conflicts and the other is more direct and capable of practicing spontaneous confrontation.

These great differences in the personalities of the two can cause constant arguments, without being able to reach an agreement.

But we all know the phrase “opposites attract”, and for a reason you and him ended up together.

This does not mean that in the long term it does not work and they should look for new paths.

However, there is also the possibility of finding a middle ground in which you can face life together. As long as they both do their part.

Another possibility is to give in sometimes you and sometimes him, to solve in a certain way the challenges that are presented to them.

The search for balance by both parties in the relationship is essential for it to work.

4) Lack of emotional intelligence

All people are emotional beings. Therefore, in all the relationships we establish, they are present to a great extent.

The problem is when some emotions are ignored or not recognized. So this leads to anger, solving in the wrong way what makes us feel bad.

A very common example is when men feel sad.

Instead of deeply feeling this sadness, they reject it for fear of being vulnerable. So instead of feeling sad, they are flooded with rage or anger.

This happens with many emotions in our society, which we have been taught to repress.

If we don’t, we feel ashamed, we think less of ourselves or we are afraid that others will think badly of us.

The reality is that if the person next to us does not accept us as we are, this couple is not the one for us.

Talk to your loved one and tell them that they are free to be who they are and express their emotions, as long as it is not harmful to either of you.

See together how you can be emotionally intelligent, expressing yourself or managing your feelings in the best way for both of you.

This will surely ease the pressure he feels to show his more sensitive side and little by little he will be happy again.

5) Stress

When you are stressed, your whole body is in a state of alert, which favors irritability due to so much stress.

If your partner is going through a lot of stress, this may be the main reason why everything you do bothers them.

Either way, it’s not fair for your partner to mistreat or argue with you. You are not the reason for his displeasure. The real problem is abroad and this must be made known to them.

If he picks up on this and starts to make an effort to manage his stress better, then you can help by listening to what’s going on with him.

Also, you can suggest ways to handle situations that have him like this.

Also, a very effective way to lower stress is to entertain and relax with things we like.

Suggest a fun outing to a new place or to start practicing that hobby that he wanted to start for years.

They can also organize gatherings with friends and family to have a great time and take a break from their problems.

You will see that after this, he will face everything with renewed energy and he will no longer be so irritated with you.

6) Unmet needs

This point is closely related to poor communication.

This is so, because perhaps things about you bother your partner, but they have not found a way to convey them to you. Then they lie there latent in him and disturb him. He doesn’t solve them with you and they irritate him.

Such a situation does not lead to a healthy relationship. Try to understand why he is so upset by sitting down with him to talk together.

Another issue to take into account is that perhaps some characteristics of your personality do not allow you to open up.

Maybe he’s afraid that what he says might make you angry and end the relationship, or he just doesn’t want to irritate you.

Or maybe he sees you as too busy and thinks that you won’t be receptive enough to understand him.

Another possibility is that he has already told you what is happening to him, but you have not understood or accepted it.

When he comes over to ask you for something, take the time to give him your full attention and try to be more helpful.

Also make him feel special, be more affectionate with him and treat him to something he likes.

7) Conflicts with oneself

Sometimes the reason why everything you do bothers him has nothing to do with you, but with internal conflicts that he has.

Perhaps they are issues that you are not being able to resolve on your own and this causes you frustration and anger.

Unfortunately, you are the person next to her, and her irritability directs her towards you.

It may also happen that he does not want to admit these problems that he has with himself, blaming you for everything that happens.

If you notice that this is the case, one option that you can recommend is that they go to therapy. A psychologist can help you find the way to understand what is happening to you, express yourself and solve it together.

Many times we want to help our partner, but they won’t let us. There may be different reasons for this: he doesn’t want to show weakness, he wants to get by on his own, or he doesn’t want to bother you with his problems.

Then a neutral person like a therapist can be very helpful.

8) He takes it out on you for personal problems

It is one thing when your partner is in a bad way and, because you are by his side, everything you do bothers him.

It is quite another when they consciously vent their anger and frustration by mistreating you.

You may be noticing that he is constantly looking to argue with you.

The dumbest things are a big problem for him and you are always the cause of them.

So, he constantly gets mad at you and sometimes you don’t even understand why. It seems to you that it is illogical for what he is blaming you.

Perhaps he is going through problems at work, with a family member or friend, or with you. By not facing his problems, he doesn’t solve them, and you are his outlet.

If this is your case you should not allow it. As much as you love him and want to help him, allowing him to mistreat you is not love.

Many women feel sorry for their partner and think that if they let them vent, they will feel better. This is not like this. The real solution is to solve the real problems, otherwise the abuse will continue indefinitely.

After telling him very clearly that he has no right to hurt you with his words, and he has understood, you can proceed to talk with him. Together you can see how they solve the problems that really concern you.

9) Low self-esteem

When you have low self-esteem, your ability to value yourself decreases and you begin to feel bad about yourself. This discomfort causes irritability and makes the person who suffers from it argue more than usual.

This is another factor that has nothing to do with you, but is an internal job that he must solve. Usually, one manages to get over it more easily with the help of his partner.

What you can do is reinforce the value that you have for him.

If your partner experiences insecurities, you can express to him how good you feel by his side. You can even mention the security you feel when you walk hand in hand at night.

Anything that makes him feel like he protects and cares for you is a good idea to tell him. In this way, he will see that you appreciate him as a man and as a person, and he will trust himself again.

Also make him notice that he develops well in all areas of his life, work, with his family, how he helps his friends, among other things.

He will surely thank you and be more encouraged.

10) You do not meet the expectations that your partner had of you

There’s also the possibility that if your relationship hasn’t been long, he may have believed you were a different way.

Over time he has gotten to know you better and has realized that you belong to another. This provokes anger in him and the non-acceptance of your true personality.

This is a very common mistake, when two people start to know each other.

It can happen that in the stage of falling in love he has idealized you and after a while he begins to see you as you really are.

Then he starts seeing things he doesn’t like about you and…