When nothing is enough: the origin of permanent dissatisfaction

Some people seem to they just don’t feel satisfied with nothing. As much as life smiles at them in many aspects, they never have enough, they always lack or fail something.

Instead of rejoicing in what they have achieved, They keep thinking about the path that remains to go and what they don’t have (or others have and they don’t).

Unattainable goals may be set and often It is difficult for them to limit their aspirations and accept that in this life you cannot have everything. They are the eternal dissatisfiedthe great insecure.

Those who live next to them suffer when they see them permanently bittertrapped by envy, by a feeling of inadequacy, by the desperate search for appreciation or by raging because of how badly life treats them, which they consider, above all, unfair.

The reason why some people are content with what they have while others get stuck feeling that everything is failing them or launch into an endless race in pursuit of high goals It has to do, above all, with insecurity.

insecurity makes lose the ability to enjoy and prevents realistically assessing aspirations by accepting personal limitations.

All people have needs to meet and, sometimes, we seek to satisfy them in the wrong way, that is, in a way that keeps us from happiness.

Social Needs: Achievement, Power, and Affiliation

Beyond the satisfaction of physiological and protection and security needs, all people require the acceptance and appreciation of self and others.

As part of these social needspsychology highlights three important motivations human:

Achievement motivation has to do with the desire to excel. We want to give the best of ourselves in what we propose to undertake; This encourages us to face challenges, to improve personally and to try to stand out in some facet.The motivation of power represents the need to leave a markto exert some kind of influence over other people and the desire that things conform to the plans that one has drawn up.The affiliation motivation is the need to have friends.to belong to a group, to cooperate and share with other people, to establish quality intimate relationships and to be accepted.

When the need is pathological

The achievement motivation encourages one to test oneself, to face challenges and persevere in the effort despite the difficulties that may arise.

The power motivation is expressed many times through the seeking prestige, fame, or statusthe effort to exercise certain leadership in small groups, the search for positions of responsibility or the desire to accumulate material goods.

The membership motivationfor its part, stimulates seek, initiate and maintain personal relationships.

Satisfying these motivations is normal and healthy to a certain extent, but it can become a source of dissatisfaction or even pathologies if the need or desire becomes excessive.

The achievement motivation taken to the extreme usually leads to pathological ambition; the exacerbated needs of can could turn frustration into aggression, anxiety disorders or depressive states; the excessive affiliation seeking and the approval of others could be at the origin of a multitude of dependencies or situations of abuse.

Any of those paths can lead to the chronic dissatisfaction.

Based on these needs, when they are more intense than desirable, underlies insecurity in any of its forms: perfectionism, excessive need for approval and recognition, need for control, pathological doubt, lack of acceptance of one’s own limits, inclination to constantly compare oneself with other people…

What difference is the desire to excel from excessive ambition?

The desire to improve or achieve a goal encourages and encourages to continue in moments of doubt or discouragement. It does not prevent you from thinking about other things or devoting effort to other tasks.The goals set are realistic. And every day, every week, you have the satisfaction of achieving some small goal. Ambition does not hinder normal relationships with co-workers or with friends or family. The desire to achieve the objectives set is perfectly compatible with the enjoyment and care of other facets of personality.enjoy the achievementsof the challenges overcome and of what is lived in the present moment.

What hides envy?

Overcoming chronic dissatisfaction requires learn to find the middle ground between the desire to improve, influence or affiliation and excessive ambition, attachment to fame, status, material goods or the search for approval at any price.

No one can endorse the phrase of Walt Whitman – “I am enough as I am”– if you do not develop a good self-confidence.

That means learn to value yourselfto accept their own limits and free themselves from traps such as envy, pathological doubt, the desire for control and perfectionism.

When a person is underestimatedtends to compare excessively with others magnify the good you perceive or imagine in them.

TRUE feeling of injustice can invade it then: why do they and not me? Faced with this situation, allowing oneself to be corroded by envy only brings dissatisfaction and bitterness. In order not to fall into this trap, it is useful to understand that there is no point in comparing yourself to others.

Each of us is equally worthy and unique.and has the same right as others to be equal in some respects and different in others.

There is no other alternative than to accept ourselves as we are, which does not imply that it cannot be improved. Each person faces life and its circumstances as best he can and knows how.

One way to overcome envy is try to get closer to the person that inspires her in order to know her better. if it is achieved understand their point of view and their circumstancesit will be easier to stop idealizing her and even capture the things that are shared with her instead of those that create distance.

It is also effective to honestly ask if what is envied is what you want to achieve really. If so, it would be useful to abandon the regrets and direct efforts towards that goalAs long as it was realistic.

In any case, you have to avoid feeling victimized. It is useless to hide behind the bad things one has had or the insecurity that one has ended up having for one reason or another.

There comes a time when you have to stop complaining and start think about what to do to improve the situation.

and it is essential develop gratitude for all the qualities you have and all the help you have received throughout your life.