When no one believes in you: the power of self-confidence

When no one believes in you, it’s the best time for you to do it. So, when someone tells you that you are not worth it, that your moment has passed or that what you long for does not have your name, lift your face and smile. Because to set limits there is either you or reality; In fact, few need help with this task. Doing so will give you confidence, a more stable compass over which you have more control.

Sometimes you have to do it, go and drink water at the lion pond. Only then will we have a chance: to train fear and limit its influence. In this sense, insecurity is a bad companion and those who choose to stay in the shelter will never enjoy those watchtower views, where all the possibilities of infinity light up before our eyes.

It was Abraham Maslow who told us that human beings come into the world with an almost unlimited potential for self-development. to reach that peak of needs where the highest objectives of happiness and well-being are contained. Now, as curious as it may be, not everyone manages to reach this summit, despite their abilities that would allow them to do so.

The reason? At one time or another, we all come across some clever agent willing to hinder our personal growth. We can find him in many scenarios, frequently acting without warning. It can appear in the form of close family members, friends, teachers, co-workers or company directors. We talk about those figures that cut our wings and convince us that we are worthless…

The Jonah complex or when we stop believing in ourselves

As a child you had asthma, and from a very early age you were convinced that sports were not good for you. Soccer, karate, tennis? Better something calm, better choose chess or drawing and that way you don’t put yourself at risk. Later you told your teacher that you wanted to be an astronaut and he looked at you with a mixture of sarcasm and irony. But you are not good for science! -He told you between laughs- Better opt for a career in literature.

Already at the University and studying Geography and History, you decide to be a writer. It takes you a year to shape an original science fiction novel, with dystopian overtones and a great sense of humor. Now, when you present it to a publisher, they don’t even respond or do so with a standardized message.

Your manuscript is one among a thousand. To which, your family and friends suggest that you better forget it; that you focus on an opposition and obtain your place to be a secondary school teacher. A teacher who one day dreamed of being an elite athlete, later an astronaut and then a writer…

What to do when no one believes in you? Maslow himself wrote a very interesting book on this very topic. It was titled The Farther Reaches of Human Nature. In it he explained that although Most of us have a remarkable potential for self-actualization, we don’t always take advantage of it. We limit ourselves to fantasizing about what we could do, about what we could achieve…

However, we do not provide the means or the psychological conditions. We allow ourselves to be conditioned by other people’s opinions and choose to settle in our comfort zone. Maslow called this reality he Jonah complex, which describes all those people who, being aware of their skills, do not dare to develop them due to fear and insecurity.

When no one believes in you: what can we do?

We have to accept it: there will always be one or more people who will emerge to tell us that we are not worth it, that we do not know and even worse, that we cannot give shape to that dream, that desire, that project. When no one believes in you, there is only one option left, the most logical and plausible: that you do believe in yourself and prove that they were wrong.

Now, such a turn is neither easy nor quick. It requires adequate inner work, which can be based on these three dimensions. Let’s reflect on them.

1. Don’t be yourself, be who you want to be

We have become too accustomed to hearing that “learn to be yourself.” It’s time to take a step further and refine this idea a little more. If we limit ourselves to being “ourselves” it is possible that we chronicle dimensions that do not benefit us in any way. If fear, insecurity and the need for approval are present in our current self, it will be difficult for us to achieve our goals.

The ideal is to clarify what we want and who we want to be.. We must promote an internal transformation with which to combine new strengths and courage with which to fully believe in ourselves.

2. A leap of faith between the life you have and the one you want

Every jump requires an impulse, and every impulse requires sufficient strength, will, motivation and optimism.. Thus, when no one believes in you and your possibilities, the last thing you should allow is for that same defeatism and negativity to infect you. Therefore, create a route plan, design a plan in your mind and fill it with positivity and determination. Only then can the highest jumps be made.

3. If certain people don’t believe in you, someone will.

Achieving a goal undoubtedly requires that we be able to trust ourselves. Now, we live in social settings and therefore, achieving a goal and achieving success is not something we can always do for ourselves. A triumph needs recognition, a promotion or an award implies that third parties recognize our worth.

Therefore, let us not let ourselves be overwhelmed by those first refusals. Let us not lower our faces before those who, at any given moment, doubt us and even ironize our ideas. After all, great achievements have never had simple beginnings. At some point the right people will appear, those who do know how to see, appreciate and intuit the values ​​that we harbor within us.

To conclude, here it is worth remembering once again that correct reasoning that tells us that The opposite of bravery is not fear or cowardice, it is conformity. That is precisely our real problem: settling for what we already have and even accepting the comments that others make to us as valid.

Let us therefore begin to doubt the one who extinguishes our dreams, the one who suggests that we get off the Moon or that we stop insisting on that ridiculous desire. No goal is ridiculous if it has been around our mind and heart for some time.. Let’s challenge fear and overcome conformity to reach our own peaks.

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