What masks do you use?

The masks They are instruments that we use to try to adapt to circumstances and, thus, reinvent ourselves. to move forward. They allow us to act as if we are capable of anything and protect us from what we believe can harm us.

That is, masks are unconscious defense mechanisms that try to protect our true “self” when it may be in danger. It is a gear that allows us to survive; therefore, wearing a mask is not necessarily a harmful thing for us.

However, there are circumstances in which the mask we adopt does not fulfill this adaptive function, but rather the opposite. These masks embedded in our true face have been widely studied in psychopathology. They are known as “ego” in Gestalt psychology or “cultural preserves” in psychodrama.

When do we need masks?

We learn to use masks from a young age when we realize that, in certain situations, we cannot behave as we would like if we want to be accepted.

Thus, we learn that we must control, for example, our frustration and tantrums so that our parents give us their approval. Or we must be patient and friendly with our schoolmates to also achieve this acceptance.

These masks mark the limits to relate to others and learn the different roles that we will need in our lives. They allow us to reflect on our impulsesdeveloping superior abilities such as empathy.

In addition, we also need to use these masks or internal characters in specific situations. For example, we may need a mask of strength in the face of adversity or difficult moments, to allow us to later let go of it and rest from the hard burden.

The types of masks that accompany us

We learn to wear masks from the time we are children until we die. Some of them save us, others harm us. It’s funny that many of us share some of them. Let’s look at some of the best known:

The good boy. The child who learned to always behave well to be accepted, who finds it difficult to set limits or give his opinion for fear of not having approval. He seeks affection through sweetness and satisfying others.The warrior. That mask that was created in tough battles allowed us to overcome great adversity. It allows us to remove the fear and indecision that we may feel to take control.The passerby. The indifferent character who remains impassive no matter what happens on the outside. He is a character who defends himself from external threats by hiding his suffering.The Savior. He needs to save all the people and it is something very personal. Followers of lost cases and undeserved people responsible for other people’s misfortunes.The sufferer. He learned that in life everything is misfortune and that the way to seek the love of others and their attention is through victimhood.The tough guy. A common mask of the most sensitive people who fear being hurt and appearing vulnerable. Faced with this fear, they have learned to be unemotional and even aggressive.The eternal happy. People who may have more difficulty accepting emotions such as sadness, anger, or loss pretend that everything is fine with a bitter smile. An escape forward from your emotions.The funny one. They are those who learn to escape from their emotions with humor. It is a mask similar to the previous one that, in addition, may believe that others will not accept him if one day he stops the jokes and is honest.

When the mask sticks to us

All of the previous masks have something in common and that is that they allow us to protect our true “self” from possible threats. Sometimes, We’ve been wearing these masks for so long that they stick to our skin.. And we ask ourselves, am I really like this? Is this mask part of my essence?

If we ask ourselves this question, it is because our precious mask has been with us for too long. And, possibly, this role is the vestiges of that wounded child who longs to be loved and seen by others.

The masks that once protected us have now stopped working and have become a way of disconnecting from our emotions, forgetting about true desires and values. The loss of essence and emotional connection It can lead us to a dead end, trying to use the same mask over and over again, even though life changes and that work you lived has already lowered the curtain.

It can be difficult to get rid of certain masks. For example, if we play the tough guy we may think that people appreciate us for this aspect and will abandon us when they see our vulnerability. However, it is a mirage of our own thoughts.

Once our daily function is over, we can come home and, by taking off all the masks and looking in the mirror, see and connect with our authentic “self.” Observe who we really are, with our own light and darkness, to love each other before anyone else does. Only in this way can we show others our naked face.

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