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What is positive parenting and what are its benefits?

Positive parenting is based on the best interests of the child. It is a parenting style based on empathy, affection, self-esteem and non-violence.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Today we know that the education of the little ones marks their future. With this knowledge in the retina of memory, parents today try to ensure that their children have the best possible education in a world that changes at a very rapid speed. What is best for my children? What educational style to choose? Will I be doing it right? Positive parenting needs answers, a clear orientation that guides them towards the goal they have set for themselves.

Children do not come with an instruction manual and parents would appreciate a guide. The parenting models with which they themselves were educated have become obsolete, as have many challenges, which is why they often cannot resort to memory.

Nor is there a sense of community that allows doubts, fears and concerns to be expressed and resolved without fear of being judged. Because of this, parenthood can become an uncertain and lonely path.

If you wish seek the best development for your children and enjoy a harmonious family life, positive parenting may be the right choice. Below we briefly describe what it consists of so that you can begin to implement it.

What is positive parenting?

Positive parenting is defined as a parenting style in which the parents’ behavior is based on the best interests of the child. Thus, this child is recognized as a full individual and parenting is aimed at protecting, guiding and enhancing the development of the minor at all levels. Through affection, security and guidance, we seek to promote the child’s autonomy so that he can achieve the best achievements in the different areas of his life.

This parenting model is very different from the authoritarian educational style implemented in previous generations, in which obedience and a passive attitude were expected from children. However, it is not a permissive or negligent model either. Supervision, limits and well-understood discipline must be present.

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Components

To better understand what positive parenting consists of, we can look at some of the basic elements that make it up. According to the FEMP, These are the principles that must guide this positive parenting:

Warm emotional ties between the different members of the family.A structured environment that offers appropriate routines and limits.Adequate stimulation that enhances the capacities and abilities of minors. Presence, attention and shared quality time.Recognition of the minor as a person with full rightsso that their opinions, interests and needs are heard and taken into account.Boost children’s confidence, self-esteem and security so that they feel capable of directing their own lives and influencing their environment.An education based on non-violence, in which there is no place for physical or psychological punishment. The inappropriate behavior of minors is corrected through consequences that do not violate or denigrate them (for example, encouraging them to reflect and repair the damage caused).

The benefits of positive parenting

Positive parenting benefits, first of all, minors. Children and adolescents educated along lines that intelligently combine affection, conditionals and the imposition of limits grow up feeling protected, loved, accepted and capable. It is easier for them to enjoy good self-esteem and also be able to establish intelligent limits to others.

Furthermore, meta-analysis studies like this one ensure that this type of parenting significantly reduces children’s disruptive behaviors. Including other parenting skills improves the effectiveness of the use of nonviolence, but does not achieve a preventive effect.

For example, parents with a high capacity for self-control will improve the positive results of their parenting style, but this capacity (by itself) will not be enough for the children to reduce their inappropriate behaviors.

Furthermore, the positive exercise of parenting provides benefits to parents. No father or mother enjoys seeing their home turned into a battlefield, having to chase their children to obey, entering into power struggles with them or imposing punishments. From this approach healthier and more harmonious family relationships are achieved, Conflicts are reduced and trust is increased and the bonds between parents and children are strengthened.

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Examples of this parenting style

To better understand How does this type of parenting occur in everyday life?below we present a list of examples that reflect it:

In the event of any conflict, problem or decision-making in the family, Both parents and children come together to talk to find, together, the most appropriate solution. In this case, everyone is listened to with respect and every opinion is taken into account. Thus, agreements are reached that benefit the entire family.Get involved in your children’s school lifetaking an interest in their educational process and what they learn at school. In the event of any act committed by the child that is considered reprehensible, Instead of resorting to physical or psychological punishment, the child is encouraged to make restitution for the damage caused. For example, if the child hit a classmate, instead of punishing him with a spanking or leaving him without video games for a week, the ideal is to teach him how to repair the damage, one way is to apologize to the affected person.Spend time doing activities with your children. This time should be quality time and should not be interrupted by other people or tasks. The purpose is to carry out an activity that both parents and children enjoy.

10 tips to promote positive parenting

Finally, there are some useful recommendations that can be helpful in approaching this parenting model. Below, we leave a list of advice issued by the NGO Save The Childrenregarding this topic:

Boys and girls have the right to appropriate care and guidance. Education and upbringing must be based on knowing, protecting and dialogue.The emotional bond is decisive, so it must be encouraged and maintained at all timesAffection must be shown openly so that girls and boys feel loved.Rules and limits are important, as they give the child structure and security.Minors must actively participate in family decision-making so that they feel responsible, but also listened to and valued. They will be sanctioned when they misbehave, but without resorting to punishments.Slapping, insulting, threatening or yelling are not effective or appropriate to educate boys and girls.Conflicts must be resolved without resorting to violence. For children to be well, parents must be well.

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To conclude, we highlight that there are as many parenting styles as there are families, despite the fact that the options are generally reduced to a few based on different parameters. The reality is that the educational style is created on a daily basis, in the continuous interactions between parents and children, and It is the decision of each family to choose the model that best suits their needs..

However, due to the demonstrated benefits of positive parenting, it is relevant to take its principles into account when educating new generations. And you, have you found this education model useful?

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Rodrigo, M., Máiquez, M., & Martín, J., (2010). Positive parenting and local policies to support families. Guidelines to promote the exercise of parental responsibilities from local corporations. Madrid: FEMP. https://www.sanidad.gob.es/ssi/familiasInfancia/docs/folletoParentalidad.pdfCapano, Á., & Ubach, A. (2013). Parenting styles, positive parenting and parent training. Psychological Sciences, 7(1), 83-95.López, ST, Calvo, JVP, Pérez, OG, & Inda, M. (2019). Evolution of Positive Parenting: Longitudinal study of the effects of the application of a parenting education program. Interuniversity Electronic Journal of Teacher Education, 22(3), 109-126.Save the Children. (2013). Know, protect and dialogue. Consulted on February 23, 2023. https://www.savethechildren.es/publicaciones/conocer-proteger-y-dialogarLeijten , P., et al. (2019). Meta-Analyses: Key Parenting Program Components for Disruptive Child Behavior. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry. Volume 58, Issue 2, February 2019, Pages 180-190. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0890856718319804

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