What are the emotions of happiness like?

For decades, psychologists have focused on studying the negative aspects of human beings, such as pathologies or diseases. However, in recent years the self-proclaimed “Positive Psychology” has delved deeper into the positive characteristics and qualities of people, such as happiness.

A sense of humor, affection, resilience, love, harmony or gratitude are psychological and emotional states that help us achieve our goals and make us carriers of positive emotions. But, How many and with what intensity do we have to experience these emotions to be happy?

Positive emotions: the ingredient of happiness

Some authors define positive emotions as those in which pleasure or well-being predominates and allow the cultivation of personal strengths and virtues. And both aspects necessarily lead to happiness.

However, categorizing emotions as positive or negative carries risks. For example, Sadness doesn’t always have to have such a negative connotation. Feeling sadness over the loss of a loved one, in addition to being natural, is adaptive, necessary and explains the underlying maturity of the person. The undeniable thing is that, although these types of emotions do not have to be harmful, they are unpleasant and experiencing them frequently places us in an undesirable emotional state.

How to define a happy person?

The Happiness is a state of mind, an emotional state and a mental state. But how can you define a happy person? To do so, her emotions and the degree of pleasure or displeasure that these cause in her could be taken as a reference.

In eudaimonic (“happiness”) terms, the happiest people are not those who experience pleasurable emotions more intensely, but those who They have positive emotions with a moderate intensity on a frequent basis. High-intensity rewarding moments are rare, even in the happiest people. Therefore, happiness is linked to a feeling of internal fulfillment and psychological well-being.

If we ask the men and women around us if they are truly happy, they will surely name specific events that have led them to profess momentary ecstasy. For example, the birth of a child or grandchild, the purchase of a new house or winning a good prize in the lottery are events that are usually associated with moments of joy, satisfaction and fulfillment.

But beware! These types of events do not happen often. Thus, Basing a lifetime of happiness on the hope that extraordinary events will occur can end in unhappiness.

Constant disagreement makes us unhappy

Searching for the sublime or the pleasant constantly and in any aspect of life leads us to error, even when the desired results are achieved. People who constantly seek “maximum happiness or maximum pleasure” tend to repeatedly and compulsively change partners or jobs and do not engage in long-lasting friendships.

They always live in a thought based on “it is not enough” and “there will always be something better.” So, it is precisely that incessant search for excellence and that addictive nonconformity that makes them desperate and bored.

However, the search for those specific moments of maximum well-being should not be confused with the refusal to experience happiness. Many people do not accept having strokes of fortune because they think that in life there is an imposed balance (“karma”), based on a law of cause-effect, by which a good phase of life is inevitably followed by another phase of bad luck.

Something similar happens with experiences that cause a lot of pleasure. Having experienced extreme enthusiasm can be a disadvantage if it serves as a reference point with which to compare other positive experiences. That is, something that a priori It is a pleasant event, it can become an average event if we contrast it with a past event that was spectacular. In this sense, let us not forget that we are heirs of a way of thinking that associated pleasure, especially when it was very high, with sin.

Women are more emotional than men

There are also differences between men and women in the expression and experience of emotions. Numerous investigations have shown that Women experience more emotions: greater frequency and intensity than men. Among those with negative valence, women tend to feel more fear and sadness than them.

It is interesting to analyze how many of the arguments between couples are related to complaints that both sexes have about each other. The clichés revolve around the fact that men do not express their emotions enough and that women are too emotional: “it’s impossible for me to understand you if you don’t tell me what you feel” or “it’s no big deal, you’re too sensitive.”

Therefore, knowing that Men do not express their emotions because they literally do not experience them as frequently or intensely as women. It can bring positions between both genders closer, help mutual understanding and solve different aspects of their conflicts.

How to maintain happiness

When we achieve a goal, we feel satisfaction; but if we do not know how to handle it, in addition to being immediate and momentary, it can fade at tremendous speed. For example, the joy of having gotten a salary increase can be relegated to the background if we give it more importance and get grumpy because it takes a long time to find parking for the car.

In order to achieve happiness and maintain an adequate rhythm of emotions of moderate intensity, each event must be given its due importance. Moderation, balance, prudence and relativization are key aspects to be able to properly manage our feelings.

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