Unrequited love

I wish there was a simple mechanism with which to turn the page without feeling hardly anything; turn your back on failures and move forward freely and without suffering in your backpack, in search of a better horizon, especially when we fall in love with someone who does not feel the same… How can we leave behind an emotional failure or an unrequited love?

People adhere to emotions and illusions as food with which to survive. But When they hurt us, when they disappoint us, we continue carrying the same emotions now transformed into suffering.
Unrequited love is a deep mark on our hearts that makes us feel alone, plunging us into the deepest sadness. Loving and not being loved is a void that is difficult for us to fill…

In these cases we can find two aspects: that of those people who have spent a certain amount of time with a partner only to realize in the end that their feelings were not reciprocated. That all personal effort did not receive any reciprocity.

And there may also be those cases in which we absolutely fall in love with someone who, at no time and despite our efforts, has shown any interest in us. How are these dimensions overcome?

1. Rationalize your doubts

It usually happens very often. In the face of failure, in the face of rejection, it is common for us to immediately be assailed by doubts about many aspects. Is there something in me that makes them reject me like this? What should I change about my personality? Am I not attractive enough? Will I always be rejected like now? Be careful.
Obsessing over these ideas can cause us to fall into a serious crisis of self-esteem. There where our self-concept is threatened. We must be careful about personal attributions, above all avoiding putting all the blame on our shoulders.

It is better not to seek responsibility for what happened and to rationalize the situation, keeping our self-esteem afloat at all times.. We have been rejected, yes. We will suffer, of course… But the world is not going to end with it and, without a doubt, new people will appear who love us for who we are.

2. Falling is understandable, getting up is mandatory

Being rejected implies suffering, an attack on our self-esteem sometimes., in addition to an event in which we all have the right to fall. But only for a while, keep that in mind.

That momentary fall is sometimes necessary to think about what happened, to go through and overcome a cycle. It is our particular grief and as such we have to live it, and then get up with more learning and strength.

The fall is part of the process of unrequited love and therefore, we will have to go through it but with the idea of ​​continuing to grow.

Hence we have the right to seek moments of solitude, take refuge in tears and get angry. But after this, The rationalization of what happened must come, where conclusions and particular learning can be obtained.

Everyone gets rejected sometimes, We must normalize it and think that it has been nothing more than a stage in our lives. And that much more satisfactory ones will come, where we can find the happiness we deserve.

3. Yes to healthy distances

“I don’t want a relationship with you, but we can stay friends“, is a common phrase with which we must be careful. Do you think making a friendship can be good for you? Sometimes, it is better to establish distance, stop seeing and treating that person as a necessary means to pass a stage, to overcome disappointment and move forward in our lives.

Not only will we establish distance with said person, it is also necessary to put what happened into perspective. to prevent it from preventing us from leading a normal life, to avoid falling into obsession.

4. Establish new plans, new goals

Unrequited love is an emotional failure to overcome, we know it, but don’t put walls in your future and prevent yourself from being happy again. Put aside negative thoughts and above all avoid attributing all the blame, all the responsibility, to yourself.
Maybe it’s the ideal time to rethink new things in your life… Should I perhaps look at other types of people? Should I be more cautious from now on and not get my hopes up so quickly? A failure is not an end…

Living the experience of unrequited love can open up new goals for us by being a little more cautious, but without losing hope at any time. Leave aside the sadness in your heart, keep your self-esteem afloat, and always bet on new opportunities.

You might be interested…