To love is to want the happiness of the other even though it is not the reason for it.

Photo: ArthurRosa.com

Some people say that love is always being together, it’s never giving up on someone you love, it’s never letting go of someone you’ve built a relationship with. They say it’s weakness to give up on someone and believe that if a relationship comes to an end it means that love is over.

I agree that love is always wanting to be together, but love is much more than that, love is being together even at a distance, you know?

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Love is maintaining respect and admiration for someone you loved even if you are no longer together.

Love is rooting for the other to reach their goals, so that they can fulfill their dreams and plans even if you are no longer there to witness it. Love is understanding that the other is free to choose which path to follow, and that we must respect their freedom.

Love is letting go of all the chains and padlocks that we usually put on the other, it’s getting rid of all those territory marking plates and all those statuses that we usually use to justify that love is only really love as long as relationship is standing.

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Love is being mature enough to understand that not everything is forever, that forever sometimes comes to an end, and we must stop considering each ending as a new frustration.

Love is accepting when things lose their meaning, it’s being sensitive enough to understand when you don’t fit in the other anymore, when the other doesn’t fit you anymore.

Love is being aware that loving does not exist only while the other is on your side, loving must remain especially when the other is no longer by your side. It’s easy to love while the other is sharing a bed with you, it’s hard to admit that there is love when the other is already gone and you can feel that the other shared much more than the bed with you, shared moments, stories, fights and teachings.

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Love is letting the other go, and saying that might sound like a stab in the chest. But that’s what love is, it’s feeling the stab in the chest when you see the other one going and still proudly admitting that it’s love, that it’s still love.

Love is being mature enough to feel admiration, respect, complicity, affection and especially love for the other, it is understanding when life takes different paths, it is knowing the moment to leave instead of pretending that it still makes sense to stay, stay out of selfishness, to be hurt and also to hurt. Love is seeing your love happy away from you than seeing him unhappy by your side.

Loving is knowing when to let go of your hands and having the maturity to keep considering the good times.

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Love is wanting the happiness of the other, even if you are no longer the reason for it. Loving is never spitting on the plate you ate, it’s never cursing what you lived with the other person. Loving is taking a deep breath, and as much as it hurts, it’s diving inside yourself and being able to see what was worth it.

Love is admitting when something comes to an end and learning that the end doesn’t mean love is over, the end doesn’t mean something failed. Endings also mean it was worth it. Maturity is ending a chapter with the same dignity with which it started, being grateful for the good times you’ve lived and understanding that ending a relationship is not the end of the world, it can be the beginning of a new world for both of you.

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Iandé Albuquerque