To enjoy the present, I must first overcome the past

They say the past is always happening. This means that everything we have experienced remains in us, one way or another. It is unavoidable. However, from there to remaining immersed in yesterday, without the possibility of overcoming the past, there is an entire abyss.

The poem by Miguel Hernández says: “Everything passes and everything remains, but our thing is to pass”. That’s how it is. It is impossible to escape from what we have been, from the traces that life has left in us. Still, overcoming the past is essential to moving forward.

However, The only way to overcome the past is to fully assume it, identify the way it has shaped us and specify what it teaches us.. On the other hand, if we do not look at it head-on, it is possible that we confine it to a corner of our memory where we do not have it present, but it continues to influence our lives.

The irremediable of the past

One of the factors that prevents us from overcoming the past is the difficulty to accept what happened and that there is no going back. It seems obvious, but there is a lot that is irrational in human beings. Therefore, although it is of no use, sometimes we are left regretting what happened or did not happen.

This happens when there are undeveloped feelings in relation to what happened. There may be a strong feeling of guilt involved. Sometimes, we fail to forgive an offense, a grievance, or a harm suffered. Even sometimes, we fail to forgive ourselves. Consciously or unconsciously, we punish ourselves for having done or not done something.

Reflection about the past should lead to a question: is it possible to repair what happened? If there is still something that can be done, it is appropriate to act. Instead of regretting or lamenting, simply do what needs to be done to give a different resolution to what happened. If it is no longer possible to do something, the best thing to do is to cry, if you must cry and draw the lesson from what you have experienced.

To overcome the past, accept and let go

The impossibility of overcoming the past leads us to place ourselves in imaginary scenarios. It is the realm of “if only”… This may lead us to long reflections. We fantasize about other possible outcomes. We long for a life in which what happened had not happened. In the end, we are at the same point, with the aggravating factor of having renewed frustration.

Accepting the past means admitting that things will never be the same again.. It doesn’t matter what we do, even if we manage to reverse the damage or consequences. None of our actions will be able to return us to that yesterday that is no longer there.

It takes courage to accept, let go and move on from the past. The will to do it is not enough. Transcending what happened is not an act of strength, but of persistence and conviction. There is a time to review that yesterday, but there comes a point when it is reasonable to leave it behind.

Learn to live in the present

There are many cases in which setting out to live in the present is not enough to achieve it. In those cases, we have to do more than just purpose. It is advisable to create circumstances that call us to that present.. That allow us to locate ourselves in the here and now, because they demand our attention. Sometimes, it is necessary to build a new present to overcome the past.

To locate ourselves in the present we need to cut the ties that unite us with the past. At least, all those links that we can eliminate. They say the best way to go is not to look back. That is why it is important to eradicate everything that leads us to turn our eyes to what has already happened. This gives us greater freedom and allows us to reflect without the anguish of what continues to drag on or continues to show its consequences.

In addition, It is important that we begin to fill our lives with new things. New friends, new hobbies, new interests. It is a time to renew ourselves, to change your life. We may not have much enthusiasm at the beginning. Something within us always drives us to continue doing the same. Let’s fight against that inertia and let ourselves be surprised by life. Now, if all this is impossible for us, do not hesitate to seek professional help.

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