This is how a person who has been unfaithful can feel

In cases of infidelity, we usually focus on what the victim is experiencing: disappointment, sadness, anger, loss of trust, etc. However, we never or rarely think about the feelings of the unfaithful person. This is because, in the absence of knowing other details, we can think that this suffering is deserved or that it does not even exist. It is as if we erase him from the emotional equation, as if our mind identifies him as an aggressor.

However, the truth is that mixed feelings of the unfaithful person often exceed their management capacity and emotional regulation, making the other feel confused and helpless. Due to this confusion, the simplest decisions become complex to make, since they are wrapped in lies and truths that generate a greater internal conflict.

How can an unfaithful person feel?

The sentimental reaction of an unfaithful person depends on the values, beliefs, personality and motivations they have.

For those who do not care about commitment and respect for each other in a relationship, it is unlikely that they will experience conflicting emotions during and after infidelity. On the other hand, when the other person is important to someone, emotions such as guilt, remorse and anger can appear. These emotions can occur after infidelity or only when the deception is discovered.

Each person lives and experiences their infidelity in a particular way. There are people who don’t feel guilty about what they have done and others who do. There is no standard emotional reaction for every cheater.; However, below, we will expose some feelings that unbelievers could experience.

The emotions experienced by an unfaithful person can be diverse and contradictory.

1. Anxiety

The tension between deception and the truth usually triggers an internal conflict in the unfaithful person, especially when their values ​​are associated with trust and mutual respect. Thus, he may experience anxiety about what he is doing, since the central values ​​of his existence are being threatened. The consequences of his actions appear in his mind: accusation, trial and social and family rejection, loss of partner and family, etc.

2. Joy

The feelings of an unfaithful person can also develop in the pole of euphoria. There are those who feel alive by having an adventure. The adrenaline can make them feel like their life has suddenly become exciting.

A cheater, by being euphoric and maintaining his affair without being discovered, ends up reaffirming his self-esteem and his ego by perceiving himself as an individual capable of “the impossible.”

3. Guilt

The feeling of guilt can generally be accompanied by anxiety and stress, constituting one of the strongest emotions of deception. Guilt intensifies when infidelity generates unexpected emotional damage in the couple (pain, disappointment, sadness, anger), in the relationship (emotional distancing, loss of trust, arguments) or in the family (anger and disappointment in the children, divorce, etc.).

4. Feelings of greatness

The unfaithful person feels great and increases their self-esteem by feeling desired by someone other than their partner. The fact of being loved by two or more people, of feeling the object of others’ desire, increases your feeling of greatness, of being someone valuable and important for whom nothing is difficult.

5. Boredom

The cheater gets bored of the monotony, of always doing the same thing, of doing the same things over and over again with his partner. Unfaithful people try to break the daily routine with something they consider exciting and fun.

For some infidels, the boredom It is one of the most common reasons for those who decide to have an adventure. However, over time he may also become bored with his lover and look for someone else who will bring excitement to his life.

6. Fear

Another of the feelings of an unfaithful person is fear. They usually live in constant fear of being discovered and that their exciting and fun adventure will come to an end. Fear is a basic emotion that signals the risk of a loss that cannot be avoided and that threatens the extinction of what is valued (Van Deurzen and Adams, 2016).

7. Sadness

The feelings of an unfaithful person can be marked by deep sadness, either for the very act of deceiving the other person or for disappointing the expectations that are had of them and those that they themselves have of themselves.

Sadness appears like that emotion that announces that what was appreciated and had as something valuable for existence has been lost: the relationship, the other person’s affection, trust, love…

According to a study from the University of Florida, unfaithful people develop an insecure attachment.

8. Frustration

It is possible that the unfaithful person feels some frustration for not being able to carry out certain plans with the relationship not visible, either because they do not want to be discovered or because they have to respond to certain demands that leave them practically no time. Furthermore, as a rule, she must always act secretly and with caution. Frustration is a feeling of being hindered in some way.

To end, infidelity is not easy to bear, and in the long run it usually ends up conditioning the lives of all those who participate directly or indirectly in it.

A factor that prevents this type of situation is maintaining a good level of communication in the relationship, building solid values ​​that are shared and practiced by both. Likewise, it is necessary to strengthen the relationship, feed passion, commitment and love.

You might be interested…