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They just left me on WhatsApp: what do I do?

Have you ever been dumped via text message? This is an increasingly common experience in this digital age, where relationships are created and sometimes destroyed based on WhatsApp. How to handle these distressing breakups?

“I’ve been thinking about us and I’ve decided that it’s best to leave. Don’t worry, it’s not you; “It’s me, that at this point, I know that I don’t deserve you.” “Hello, I’m sorry to tell you that I’m breaking up with you.” “Hello honey, I don’t want to hurt you anymore, it’s best to leave it. I hope you’re happy”. “Do not call me Anymore. Ours is over. Wish you all the best”.

At the time of leaving WhatsApp For someone there are a thousand formulas, some with greater flourishes, others a little colder and some are even accompanied with emoticons. Those who have lived this experience firsthand (or with their own eyes) know how disturbing it is. However, it is not something exactly unusual or typical of this digital age of instant messaging.

In the last century, relationships were also broken with a brief phone call or even by registered letter. Times change and new tools only facilitate what has always been part of human beings. Emotional irresponsibility and the inability to deal with difficult problems has always existed.

Now, the fact that it is a frequent dynamic does not make it any less harmful. Because it is. The person who is left with a message does not have it easy to bring closure to said relationship. You will have to grieve without having a “why” or a face-to-face conversation in front of someone who, one day, meant everything…

People who leave on WhatsApp know that doing so is cold as ice, but they still don’t want to face the situation of speaking face to face with their partner.

Disbelief, denial, anguish… The person who is left by message experiences a large number of difficult emotions.

leave for WhatsAppa common practice without a burden of conscience

Almost ten years ago, an article published in The Huffington Post echoed a survey. Among the sample analyzed, 88% of men and 18% of women had broken up with someone over text. The data is overwhelming, but it is very possible that this reality continues to be practiced with the same frequency today.

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What’s more, although it may surprise us, there are many spaces on the Internet that reveal to us which are the 20, 25 or 30 best text messages to leave someone. That is, a copy and paste would be enough to leave our partner without having to think too much about it. Emotional irresponsibility is sadly common in this society of fragile relationships built and deconstructed by the mobile phone.

Now, what is striking is that the majority is aware that leaving WhatsApp It’s cold and wrong. However, it is carried out this way because what is easy and quick (what is cowardly) takes precedence over the moral cost (what is responsible). That is to say, Cutting off a relationship via messaging does not generate any type of regret; It is more important not to have to face this situation in person.

On the other hand, there is an aspect that we must understand. It doesn’t matter that this phenomenon is frequent. It doesn’t matter that this has happened to our friend or ourselves more than once. Each experience is unique and each digital abandonment is experienced in a particular way. It is essential to know how to deal with it.

The most important thing when we are informed of the end of a relationship via WhatsApp is not to focus obsessively on getting to see our ex-partner face to face. This attempt is usually unsuccessful and will make us even more desperate.

If they just left you on WhatsApp, ask to meet in person. Just suggest it once. If you do not receive a response, avoid connecting again.

Keys to overcoming a breakup by message and not losing dignity

How to deny it? When you have just been dumped on WhatsApp, your emotions drag you down and your thoughts go around as many times as on a merry-go-round. “What have I done wrong? Why don’t you want to see me to talk? Will there be a third person? Should I call him, go look for him, call his family or friends?” The mental exhaustion that we can lead to is immense.

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A study from the University of Santo Tomás indicates that, in general, during breakups, men tend more toward emotional inhibition, while women seek more support from their environment. However, being left by message presents unique peculiarities that we must know how to address. We analyze them.

1. After the message, try to connect (but only once)

Every breakup needs a final conversation to clarify feelings, needs and decisions. Having a why makes it easier to close a stage, an emotional cycle. Thus, Once you receive the message informing you of the one-way breakup, try to make a call or request a meeting. All you have to do is ask/try it once.

If they don’t respond to you, don’t make the mistake of leaving messages on voicemail or messaging apps where they won’t even receive double the amount. check blue. Let’s accept reality without losing dignity. Accept that this time you will have to duel without having a clear “why” for that ending.

2. Delete your ex-partner from your contacts and social networks

Unless the other person has already done so, it is advisable to eliminate our ex-partner from all forms of contact. This also involves social networks. If we become obsessed with reviewing their publications to find out what is happening in their life, the grief over that breakup will become chronic.

3. Don’t raise hopes, accept that that person was not what you expected

Leaving on WhatsApp without having the courage to handle a breakup in person and navigate a difficult conversation reveals what a person is like. That is another reality that we must accept, the couple we loved was limping in terms of emotional responsibility and emotional intelligence. We deserve better.

When it comes to leaving someone, be it a partner or even a friend, the easiest way is chosen, that is, breaking up by text message.

4. Avoid liana relationships, first face the grief for that experience

One nail doesn’t always pull out another nail. and looking for a new partner on Tinder or any other application does not always solve the pain of a breakup.

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Let’s avoid liana relationships, that is, jumping from one person to another. Let us first try to go through our grief, let us accept disappointment, anger, sadness and every sensation, understanding that, little by little, this suffering will diminish.

5. Keep the good memories and be a better person than the person who left you

Put your anger in your personal backpack, do not carry the weight of resentments or foster distrust.. Don’t be one of those who say to themselves ““I will never trust anyone again or I will never fall in love again.”. Because love will always be worth it. Try, above all, to keep the good experience, the enjoyment of that relationship, even if it is little.

Try to be better than the person who left you by messenger, because although it is an easy way out, it is not the most ethical or the most correct. Let us be more mature, braver and continue to grow in emotional responsibility..

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

García F, Ilabaca D. Couple breakup, coping, and psychological well-being in young adults. Ajayu. 2013 ; 11(2): 42-60García D. Narration of grief in a love breakup. Ajayu. Scientific Dissemination Body of the Department of Psychology of the Bolivian Catholic University “San Pablo”. 2014 ; 12(2):288-307Rhoades GK, Kamp Dush CM, Atkins DC, Stanley SM, Markman HJ. Breaking up is hard to do: the impact of unmarried relationship dissolution on mental health and life satisfaction. J Fam Psychol. 2011 Jun;25(3):366-74. doi:10.1037/a0023627. PMID: 21517174; PMCID: PMC3115386.

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