The weight of the open wound: when the victim becomes the executioner

The open wound sometimes forms an abyss infected by resentment, anger and vulnerability.. It is experienced by some of those people who have been victims of abuse, abandonment or mistreatment. The mark of these experiences and the inability to heal them often causes them to project this deep discomfort onto others, sometimes evidencing maladaptive behaviors.

Everyone deals with pain in their own way, with greater or lesser skill.. However, there are those who do it in the worst possible way: aggressively. The reason? There are profiles in which several determining factors suddenly come together. On the one hand, there is the severity of the trauma experienced; on the other hand, the social and support resources available to the person, as well as certain biological and even genetic factors.

Now, the most determining factor is undoubtedly the personality factor. We know, for example, that certain people characterized by reactive narcissism use their pain as a throwing weapon. Their identity as a victim, and the weight of a past of abuse, often turns them, almost unintentionally, into camouflaged executioners. They are people who cannot control the impulse to retaliate and project their anger towards others in different ways.

When the open wound of trauma brings aggression

The concept of ‘victim’ is often highly debated. Something we must understand first of all is that Not everyone copes with trauma in the same way.. There are those who, thanks to their psychological resources or the good support received, effectively confront a dramatic event, separating themselves from their victim identity in a short time.

Other people, on the other hand, integrate that damage for much of their lives, that open wound that, in some way, leaves more and more consequences. Post-traumatic stress disorder, for example, is one of those effects. Now, the question that may come to mind is why this happens. Why is it that there are those who, far from overcoming that painful fact from the past, carry it with them as a burden?

Even moreIs there any explanation why a person exposed to traumatic events may react in a maladaptive or violent manner at some point? At the University of Monterotondo, Italy, they carried out an interesting study led by Dr. Giovanni Frazetto to analyze this very thing.

The data obtained was the following.

Early trauma and the MAOA gene

According to this work carried out in 2007, Being exposed to certain negative events during our first 15 years of life usually leaves an obvious mark on our emotional and psychological fabric. Now, while some people will have a better chance than others of overcoming or facing these events, others will have some difficulty.

In this last group are people with the MAOA gene, linked above all to the male gender.This gene is in turn associated with a very specific behavioral phenotype, that of greater aggressiveness. Therefore, something that could be seen in the study is that children who had grown up without a parent, who had been neglected, received abuse or grew up in an environment with alcoholism problems, When they reached adulthood, they showed more aggressive and antisocial behaviors.It was also associated with a greater inclination to abuse drugs, as well as a clear difficulty establishing solid and meaningful social and emotional relationships.

The open wound and vulnerability that prevents us from perceiving the pain of others

An open wound is an unsolved problem that engulfs us more every day.. It is a way of chronicling the identity of victim because we basically define ourselves not by what we do today, but by what happened to us in the past. There are those who become so trapped in his vulnerability, in the repressed anger, in the fear that does not allow breathing and in the weight of the memory that, almost without realizing it, they develop ’emotional blindness’.

Stop seeing and perceiving emotional realities other than your own. This lack of empathy derives from the open wound itself, from that trauma that generates changes in our brain and that, in some way, ends up modifying our personality.. The most complicated thing about all of this is that at some point, someone who feels like a victim can become an executioner.

This is done, for example, by a teenager who suffers abuse or neglect at home, and shows violent behavior at school.It is also done by the person who at certain moments feels so vulnerable and defenseless that they react excessively to defend themselves.The open wound can make one end up understanding violence as a form of language. If as a child we were witnesses or victims of aggressive behavior, it is likely that in adulthood we will end up applying those same models.

Open wounds and traumas, how are they treated?

Today, the most suitable approach to the treatment of trauma is undoubtedly trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy. This tool also has a large scientific bibliography that supports its effectiveness (Echeburúa and Corral, 2007; Cohen, Deblinger and Mannarino, 2004).

On the other hand, We also have acceptance and commitment therapy (Hayes, Strosahl, Wilson, 1999, 2013). It is a type of third-generation cognitive behavioral therapy that seeks to reduce anxiety and fear to better manage threatening situations.

Likewise, and no less important, it is necessary to work on anger management in case it has already made an appearance. Something like this begins to be evident even in childhood. It is known, for example, that About 45% of children who witness family violence present behavioral problems.

Behind the open wound there is anxiety, there is sadness, anger and a series of mental images that we cannot erase. These types of dramatic realities must be treated by specialized professionals. No one deserves to live in a present where suffering extinguishes their potential to be happy..

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