The types of love according to John Allan Lee

There are different types of love according to John Allan Lee. To differentiate them, it is based on the idea that, as happens with colors, There are three types of primary affects that, when mixed together, give rise to three others.. This approach, which emerged in the 70s, reminds us of such important aspects as that all people need such basic nutrients as respect, company and passion to be happy.

Before detailing this theory, it is interesting to first stop at its author. Although his name is no longer well remembered, it is worth noting that he was one of those figures who combined social activism with academic research like no one else. He was a highly regarded sociologist from the University of Toronto who spent his entire life delving into psychological aspects of love and sexuality.

John Allan Lee was a trade unionist, social activist at Amnesty International, defender of the rights of the LGBT community and also, one of the people who has fought the most for the right to die or assisted suicide. In fact, he himself chose that ending for himself when the time came. He left this world in peace after writing his memoirs and understanding that he had fulfilled his purpose: to defend the importance of love and respect between people.

The types of love according to John Allan Lee

We know the different types of love according to John Allan Lee through a book and a study that the author himself published after several years of work and analysis at the University of Toronto, Canada. So, in your work The colors of Love He begins by pointing out that authentic love, the most enriching, is blue, red and yellow.

These three basic or primary colors, when mixed, can give rise to new and fascinating shades., to other types of love. However, in terms of affection, nothing is as important as that primary base made up of the following dimensions:

Company (blue color). Respect (yellow color). Passion (red color).

Let’s see below those secondary archetypes that make up the types of love according to John Allan Lee

Eros

Eros clearly defines romantic love. In this case, we have that bond idealized and promoted in turn by our culture, in which passion and emotional devotion give rise to often unhealthy bonds. The attraction is intense and immediate, the attention is placed on the physical aspect, on absolute devotion and possession.

erotic love

He eroticona context that has its roots in Greek times, gives shape to that love oriented exclusively to desire and the sexual act. Within the theory of types of love according to John Allan Lee, attention is paid to this typology for a very simple reason. Through these sexual encounters lacking any other emotional component, a stable or even satisfactory relationship is not always consolidated.

Thus, and although at first, those sexual games, those encounters based on an unexpected physical attraction are gratifying for both, In the long run they can bring disappointment or simply fulfill their specific purpose, giving way to the search for new sexual partners.

Ludus, playful love

People with a playful style in their emotional relationships see love as a game. Its purpose is to conquer, to obtain benefits (emotional, sexual, entertainment…). For this reason, and to obtain their objective, they do not hesitate to seduce, deceive and manipulate. They do not commit and build emotionally distant relationships.

“Playful” individuals, according to John Allan Lee’s theory of love types, are focused only on short-term benefits.

pragmatic love

In this type of love, we have people who are governed by a sense of logic. They are like the Spock character in Star Trekwhere emotions take a second place to focus only on the usefulness of emotional relationships. In this way, the most pragmatic often wonder if their potential partner would be accepted by family and friends. They also question whether or not they will obtain financial stability with that person or if it will be someone who will break their personal calm and balance.

Mania or obsessive love

The obsessive love style is present in those people who are dependent and focused only on satisfying their needs. They are profiles with great emotional changes, at moments they appear cold and later passionate. They are possessive, jealous, controlling and can become abusive.

Agape

In this last dimension of the types of love according to John Allan Lee, we have that bond that can bring us the most happiness.. They are people who know how to give and receive. They are profiles that focus on the needs of their partner, who offer their affection unconditionally, who are committed, who care for each other, who work in a bond based on satisfaction and harmony.

In conclusion. It should be noted that these 6 subtypes usually appear in a combined and interspersed manner in our emotional relationships. Whether we want it or not, there is always a component of eros, of erotikon and a good substrate of that agape on which to work daily. It would just be about being aware of which typology is most present in us or in our partner to maintain that archetype or, on the contrary, work on it in case we are bordering on mania or excessive pragmatism.

Let’s think about it.

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