The speeches we don’t want to hear at our wedding

Did you know that the tradition of toasting at weddings is super old and is associated with a precautionary measure against poisoned drinks? Yes, that’s right. But it is important to mention that often the problem is not in the drink, but in the speech that some people decide to make just at the time of the toast.

Wedding is a very important day in the life of a family. A day when joy reigns, there is a lot of food, drink and a lot of emotion. And of course, a day when some people decide to try the power of the word and end up making speeches beyond strangers. It is at these times that we realize that some people are simply not born for rhetoric.

We’ve put together some original speeches shared by users of the social network Reddit. Check it out and if your marriage worked out, feel lucky.

At a friend’s wedding, the godmother (sister of the bride) accidentally said in her speech that it was the bride who told her that Santa Claus was not real. In the hall there were 30 to 40 children. She quickly tried to fix it, but the disaster was already done, because all the kids were paying attention. It was a cry.

I was at a wedding where the groom’s grandfather gave a short speech. He approached the microphone and said, “I hope you made the right decision.” And he left. The older ones really don’t have a word for it and speak what they feel.

“We all know that she has walked this path of love before” – said the bride’s brother in her second marriage.

I had so much fun at my cousin’s wedding. Some friends came to film me and asked me to say a few words to the bride and groom. In the midst of my drinking, I said, “I still can’t believe how much he’s grown up. I remember when he was little and I’m so happy.”

My cousin is 8 years older than me.

The best man’s speech: “When I found out that Bill liked Jackie I was super impressed. I asked him if he was serious. At that moment I discovered that Bill really liked Jackie as a person…”.

Jackie is not very pretty.

The best man approaches the microphone, obviously very drunk. He opens the speech and starts vomiting. He takes the mic and says, “That’s not what I meant.”

My husband and I accidentally walked into where they do divorces and annulments when we wanted to get married. An employee came up to us and my husband said, “Don’t worry, we’ll be back next year.”

One of the groomsmen got drunk, walked over to give a speech, and ended up wishing my husband and me a happy birthday.

“Well, the wedding was nice. But I’m sure everyone here knows this isn’t a wedding until they have kids.”

The bride cannot have children.

My godfather (my brother) put a lot of Simpson phrases into his speech. Nobody understood anything, I loved it!

My fiance’s best friend gave a speech at his mother’s second marriage (he is 33 years old).
He said: “It’s always hard to be accepted by a new family as a stepfather, but I take my hat off to Brian, especially since last night I overheard him rehearsing asking me to call him Dad.”

Imagine the bride’s face.

The groom was in the middle of his speech, talking about the bride’s father, about how he threatened him with a stick. He held up a baseball bat and said, “Brother-in-law, I got you this.”

From the family table, you hear: “I’m going to kill you!”

My father, at my wedding: “Marriage is like a bouquet of flowers. Over time it withers and we need to change.”

He wanted to say that flowers have to be taken care of, but of course he simply wanted to imitate a speech he had heard at another wedding, but he couldn’t remember what it was like. My wife and I are splitting up, so I think he was right.

“I’d like to take this time to welcome the bride into our family. I’ve been told you’re healthy, so we think you’ll at least resist, because the other two…”

I said this on my father’s third marriage. He was widowed twice.

I wasn’t at the wedding, but a friend told me about the toast at his cousin’s party. The best man was paralyzed, he didn’t know what to say and ended up congratulating my friend (who was not the groom) for having passed the entrance exam.

I was at a wedding when one of my friends stood up to give a speech that was good until the last sentence, when he said, “This could have been my wedding if I hadn’t cheated on her.”

Silence…

The only thing the godfather said was, “Well, we’re all gathered here for a specific reason: a good woman died. May she rest in peace.”

The groom’s first wife had died exactly 10 years ago.

My cousin decided to ask an acquaintance from college to make the wedding cake. What she didn’t know is that he was secretly in love with her. For some reason he thought this was a good time to confess his love through the cake, and wrote ‘You will always be mine’. He took a lot of work to turn the letters into fireworks.

Do you have any fun wedding speech stories? Share in the comments!