The most common causes of insecurity and how to overcome them

Insecurity can have different origins; For example, we may feel confident in our intellectual ability, but insecure in our social skills. Many times insecurity manifests itself in behaviors such as excessive concern about physical appearance or showing or hiding a particular personality trait.

It is possible that all of us, at some point in our lives, have experienced feelings of insecurity and lack of self-confidence. In this article we are going to talk about the most common causes of insecurity and propose some ideas to overcome them.

Causes of insecurity

Of course, each person is a different universe in which different experiences, social conditions and personality traits converge. However, some of the most common causes of insecurity are the following.

1. Insecurity due to fear of failure

Experiences of failure, especially if they are recent situations, tend to negatively affect our self-confidence. Although we have all failed at some point and moments of rejection or loss are part of life, we are not always in a position to manage them in the most constructive way.

In general, situations such as job loss, a love breakup, or an unexpected health breakdown tend to awaken feelings of failure and frustration in us.

The way our self-esteem is affected by circumstances like these causes us to begin to see ourselves in a negative way. Likewise, it makes us imagine that other people also judge us with the same harshness and that they even celebrate our defeats.

2. Fear of negative evaluation

Besides, It is possible that we identify the origin of insecurity in the fear of being evaluated negatively. For example, seeing ourselves exposed or feeling that we may be the target of criticism or comments can make us feel anxious and, consequently, generate insecurity.

Much of this fear comes from negative experiences in childhood or adolescence. Situations such as having been raised or in environments in which a lot of importance was placed on competition and grades may have predisposed us to construct standards that are too rigid and unattainable to measure our own performance.

In the same way, The fear of negative evaluation causes us to cultivate negative beliefs about ourselves and that our mental attention is focused on how we believe others perceive us. So, we tend to have a vision of the world without nuances, that is, things go well or they go wrong, without middle points and without room for reflection on what is beyond our control.

Finally, the insecurity associated with the fear of negative judgments It can generate feelings of guilt and shame for not meeting our own demanding and perhaps unattainable standards. This will make us feel insecure and lack self-confidence, because we will believe that we could always give more, that we could do better.

3. Self-confidence and perception of support

Finally, On many occasions, feelings of insecurity arise due to the perception of having little support.. That is, feeling that we have effective support, whether emotional or material, is very important for our feelings of security and self-confidence.

If you have had situations in which you feel like nothing is supporting you, that you are hanging by a thread and there is nothing or no one to cushion your fall, it is possible that you have seen your self-confidence diminish.

Feeling that we can take risks, make brave decisions on important issues or repent and start over after a mistake are signs of a secure personality and are closely related to the type of support (social, family, economic) we have.

How to identify insecurity in a person

Insecurity affects various areas of daily life, so It does not manifest itself in the same way in each person.. As a result of this, it is advisable to know the general signs of this condition to know how to properly identify it:

Difficulty making decisions. Need for constant external approval. Fear of abandonment, rejection and criticism. Neophobia or fear of change, difficulty adapting. High and inflexible self-demand. Negative thoughts about oneself. Difficulty in social relationships. Feelings of envy and jealousy. Low tolerance for frustration. Inhibition when communicating one’s own needs and emotions.

How can we gain security?

Taking into account that insecurity does not have, in most cases, a single cause or variable that fuels it, we present a list of strategies that will help you gain confidence.

First of all, Work on your self-esteem, be kind and patient. Try to take control of your internal speech. Learn to take advantage of criticism, turn it into information to grow. Try to ensure that social reinforcement does not become your main motivation. Likewise, celebrate and share the goals achieved.Reconcile with your past self, accept your mistakes and leave them behind: they do not define you as a person. Accept and recognize that you are not perfect. Plus, you don’t have to be, no one in the world is. Allow yourself to explore your interests and rediscover your curiosity.Identify and evaluate what things are under your control and what things are not. Keep in mind that your results also depend on external factors and not only on your commitment or your effort. Seek support from your loved ones and the people you trust the most. Maybe, if you ask for help you will realize that there are many people around you willing to support you with everything you need.

Professional Help

A generalized and intense insecurity is a major impediment to functioning on a daily basis and achieving happiness. That’s why, Asking for professional help can be very helpful for some people.

In therapy, techniques and exercises are used to redefine self-image and self-concept. Cognitive restructuring and strategies are also used to acquire an assertive communication style, as well as to improve social skills.

As you can see, you can take measures to act more safely. A confidence that will make you take on more challenges, grow in more directions, enriching your life in the way you really want.

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