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The impossibility of being without a partner

The prevailing need to have a partner usually hides some problems, such as the fear of being alone and low self-esteem. Let’s delve into it.

Many people are unable to be without someone by their side. This means that When a relationship doesn’t work out they quickly find someone with whom to share your life. You probably know someone or find yourself in this situation yourself. Why this need to be in a relationship? The answer is the fear of loneliness.

Factors that influence the impossibility of being without a partner

Given the impossibility of being alone, there are several factors that can activate or favor this need to be continually as a couple.

Emotional dependence

Emotional dependence is one of the most common causes of the inability to be without a partner. In this case, emotional dependents feel a deep fear of being aloneThey constantly need each other’s affection and are capable of canceling themselves out in order to satisfy their partner’s desires.

Low self-esteem is hidden behind this condition. Therefore, emotionally dependent people have a very poor personal concept and depend on the affection of others in order to feel good about themselves. Hence, they feel a lot of fear of abandonment.

In turn, this fear leads them to carry out toxic behaviors towards their partner, such as: attacks of jealousy, control over the other’s actions, etc.

premature relationships

People who have started relationships at a very young age may feel the fear of being alone when these relationships break up. Anguish or the feeling that we are missing something These are some of the emotions we can experience.

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Social pressure

If the vast majority of our family or group of friends have a partner, we can feel different, and even have a certain feeling of nostalgia for those moments in which we were with our partner. Here it will also depend on how influential we are, which, in this situation, will cause great difficulty in remaining single.

New love

In some situations, the breakup coincides with the finding of new love. This is not common and possibly happens for two reasons. The first of them, because we have discovered that our partner was not the right person. The second, because we are aware that nothing is infinite and this encourages us to replace what is susceptible to being lost. In short, both reasons have something in common: the fear of loneliness.

Consequences

The position we adopt in the face of this fear of being without a partner can have certain consequences that can affect us considerably.

If we are continually linking some relationships with others, this will cause us an almost chronic dependency. In fact, many of these relationships are not the result of love but of the fear of being alone. In this way, we can not only harm the other person; But we also do ourselves harm when we deceive ourselves, pretending or believing we feel something that we really don’t feel.

The fear of being abandoned or that the person next to us is not the right one causes us to let’s avoid relationships when they become serious. This way, we try to protect ourselves from the pain of abandonment but, at the same time, we cannot fill that void that haunts us. This gives rise to several short relationships that do not fulfill us.

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Solutions

It is important to learn to enjoy life without being overwhelmed by not finding someone to be by our side. That right person will arrive with whom we will share, if not a part of our entire life. We must relax and learn to enjoy solitude. Really, solitude can be an excellent opportunity to dedicate time to ourselves and our personal growth.

Now, if the situation gets out of hand and we feel very uncomfortable at the impossibility of having a partner, The ideal is that we go to a mental health specialist to help us overcome this problem..

In these cases, with therapy and patience we will be able to overcome the fear of being alone, we will learn the value of self-love and we will begin to enjoy our own company.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Laca F, Mejía J. Emotional dependence, awareness of the present and communication styles in conflict situations in the couple. Teaching and Research in Psychology. 2017 ; 22(1):66-75. Available at: https://www.redalyc.org/pdf/292/29251161006.pdfMontes M. Love, the fundamental basis of being healthy. Medical Colombia. 2000 ; 31(1): 49-54. Available at: https://www.redalyc.org/pdf/283/28331110.pdf

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